Castles in the Sand
by april060917
Summary: Post 'Shattered' (7x22), Cold Case series finale. Scotty finally confronts and confesses something he's been denying for a long time. L/S (of course)
1. Chapter 1

I'm a die hard Lilly/Scotty fan so this story is L/S. This is my first Lilly and Scotty and my first Cold Case story so tell me what you think. And if you have any ideas on more l/s stories that you want me to write, let me know. Enjoy!

**Chapter One**

The silver Nissan pulls into a parking space at a seaside motel. Cristina is still sleeping in the backseat with her head on Lilly's shoulder. The baby girl however is wide awake in Lilly's arms. She looks around taking in every detail with her big blue eyes. Scotty looks at them through the rearview mirror, and then turns to Lilly.

"How you doing?"

"Okay, I guess."

He smiles at the baby then reaches out to stroke her tiny face softly. She observes him closely before clutching his finger tightly. They both laugh quietly. They sit silence for awhile until Scotty says, "You must be tired. Let me take her for awhile."

She raises her eyebrow at him but hands him the baby. She stirs and settles against him, leaning her head against his chest.

"She likes you," Lilly says quietly. He doesn't answer her but simply gazes at the beautiful baby girl in his arms. The baby eventually dozes off for a bit. After awhile, Scotty gets out of the car to stretch his legs. He paces around with the baby. Lilly gets out after him. The baby wakes up but she's surprisingly calm. A few minutes later, Cristina shifts. She sits up and looks around, still a slight bit sleepy.

"Where are we?"

"The beach."

"Really?" She says excitedly as she stumbles out. Lilly catches her before she falls but Cristina gets away from her and nearly runs to the beach.

Lilly starts to head after her sister but stops to look back at Scotty. "Could you...? "

"Go," he finishes. "I'll watch the baby. Yell if you need anything. "

She smiles back at him the runs after her sister. She finally catches with her by the seashore.

"Remember the sand castle. We built it right here, next to the ocean," she says running her fingers through the wet sand.

"Yeah, I remember. The tide rose and the waves destroyed it," Lilly says fondly. She snaps out of the moment and says, "Cristina we need to talk."

"I'm sorry," she says immediately. "For everything and all the trouble I've caused. Are you mad at me?"

For a moment, she catches a glimpse of the old Cristina. Her baby sister, the one she practically raised.

"It's hard not to be. You could've been killed," she says a bit angrily.

"I know."

"The kind of people you chose to get involved with are dangerous criminals."

"I know, I know. I said I was sorry."

"Well, sometimes sorry isn't good enough," Lilly says angrily. She pauses to compose herself then says in a different tone, "This needs to stop Cristina. You need to grow up. Not just for your sake but for the sake of your baby."

"I've tried. I've tried to stop so many times. I've been in and out of rehab centers."

"Try harder. This isn't only about you anymore. I'd want to help you but I can't if you won't help yourself."

"I know. I've made some mistakes. When I found out I was pregnant, I decided to keep the baby. And when Cliff found out he was furious. I said I'd give the baby away. I tried to talk him around after the baby was born but he refused to listen. He found a new contact in Philly I offered to come down her first and set things up before he came. Once I got here I ran but he found me."

Lilly doesn't answer for a minute. She looks out at the ocean. The sight of the ocean and the sounds of the waves always have a calming effect on her. Finally, she says

"I can get you into a maximum security rehab facility. He can't touch you there. The police picked him up and he's going to jail for a long time, for drug possession. But you have to commit to the program." She pauses then says, "And Dad and I can look after the baby while you're there." Now it's Cristina's turn to be silent. She wipes a couple tears from her eyes and says, "I'll do it."

Lilly looks at her and for the first time in their lives it seems as though she genuinely means it.

"I'll do anything for my baby."

Lilly smiles and Christina returns her smile. They laugh and embrace. Lilly's mind flashes back to their childhood.

_Two blond girls curled up in a small bed. The older one (Lilly) wipes away the younger ones (Cristina) tears, as she hug her sister and sings to her softly. The younger ones cringes at the sound of bottles and things being smashed into the wall and floors, but eventually relaxes into her older sister's embrace and falls asleep in her arms.(Back to the present.) _

They stand and watch the waves crash into the sand for awhile. Finally they turn and start walking back to the parking lot slowly.


	2. Chapter 2

Just a quick note. I know Lilly and Saccardo already broke up before the series finale but I forgot and I couldn't change that fact without completely altering the entire story. Sorry it took me awhile to post this chapter. Thanks for all the great reviews and keep reading! Enjoy… Oh and suggestions are always welcome!

**Chapter Two**

They walk back to the car slowly. They find Scotty and the baby, sitting and playing in the grass. He smiles and scoops her up, when he sees them. His eyes meet Lilly's for a brief second but she quickly shifts her gaze to the baby, who promptly reaches out for her. As he hands her over, he says

"She's a beautiful. And so calm. She didn't cry once while you two were gone."

"What's her name?" Lilly asks Cristina as she pulls a duffel bag from the trunk of the car.

"She doesn't have one yet."

"Uh, I got us a motel room", Scotty says, taking the bag from Lilly and closing the trunk. "The past few days have been hard on all of us and I thought we should rest." He turns to Lilly and says,

"I called Stillman to explain. He said we can take as much time off as needed."

"Thanks Scotty."

He locks up the car and they all walk to the motel room. It's on the second floor, room 253, overlooking the parking lot. Scotty opens the door and Lilly walks inside, followed by Cristina. The room looks as if it's been hastily cleaned, with two twin beds, a small round table, a TV, a bathroom, and a sofa.

"I'll take the sofa", he says. "You two get the beds."

Lilly sits on one of the beds with the baby and Scotty leans back on the sofa and flickers on the TV.

"I'm gonna go take a shower", Cristina says, heading for the bathroom. Lilly surrounds the baby with pillows and the comforter before sinking back onto the bed.

"You okay?" He asks his voice laced with concern.

"Yeah."

He gets up and lies down on the bed on the other side of the baby. Lilly says, "We talked and she agreed to go to rehab."

"What about the baby?" He asks.

"I'll take her. I have a spare room that can be fixed up as a nursery. And my father can watch her while I'm at work. Or I can hire a nanny." She pauses for a few minutes then says," It's funny…"

"What is?"

"I never thought of my own family. I mean, I've thought about getting married but not about actually having children. She…" Lilly pauses and looks over at her niece. "She made me think about having my own someday." She drifts off. Scotty doesn't answer but finally he says, "Well you know, whatever you need I'm always here for you. Just say the word."

Their eyes meet over the baby but this time she can't look away. They pause and for awhile it seems as if no one else exists but the two of them and the air around them. Something so strong and indescribable, something that's always been the huge pink elephant in the room that they've never acknowledge. But after awhile, the baby gurgles and waves her hands, breaking their moment and reminding them she's still there. Lilly bursts out laughing and Scotty joins her. Once they've stopped, she says "Thanks Scotty. It means a lot to have your support."

"No problem," he says.

They lie in silence for awhile, letting time drift by. Eventually, she falls asleep. Scotty watches as the sunlight plays on her face, giving her hair a golden tone and illuminating her creamy smooth skin. She looks so delicate, nearly breakable but she has an amazingly strong spirit. Suddenly, the baby stirs and her eyes flutter open, interrupting his thoughts. She gurgles and coos happily at him. He picks her up and takes her over to the couch, so she won't wake Lilly. He remembers a couple games he uses to play with his nephews when they were little and tries them out on her. She laughs and waves her hands happily. Her laughs eventually wake Lilly. She stirs a bit and rubs her eyes. She turns and props herself up on one elbow before saying sleepily, "She needs a name."

"Who?" He asks in between a game of peek-a-boo. Lilly smiles at the sight of the Scotty Valens cradled up and playing with a baby. She's use to seeing Scotty playing the tough unsympathetic upper hand in the interrogation room. This is a side of him she rarely ever sees and she's surprised to realize she rather likes it. She gets up from the bed and sits next to him on the couch.

"The baby. We can't keep calling her that."

"Got any ideas?"

"I was thinking Alexia Elizabeth."

"Alexia Elizabeth Rush", he says. Alexia waves her tiny fist and smiles.

"I think she likes it", Lilly says with a laugh. Alexia coos and wriggles, reaching for Lilly. Lilly smiles and takes Alexia into her arms. Scotty watches her quietly. It's been a long time since he's seen her smile. Alexia seems to bring out the best in all of them. Like the sun breaking through the clouds on a cloudy day, a breath of fresh air. Just then, the bathroom door opens and Cristina comes out. Her hair is wet and she's wearing a pair of sweatpants and a cotton t-shirt.

"Hey", she says, sitting on the other bed.

"Hey. We just named her", Scotty says.

"Alexia Elizabeth Rush", Lilly finishes.

"I like it", she answers. She covers her mouth as she yawns. "I'm gonna take a nap."

"Are you okay?" Lilly asks.

"Just tired."

"You've had a long day", Scotty agrees. "We'll take the baby while you get some rest."

"Okay", Cristina agrees sleepily as she lies down and curls up on the bed. Before they can even reach the door, she's fast asleep. Lilly hands Alexia to Scotty and stops to tuck the comforter around Cristina before following Scotty and Alexia out. Outside, it's starting to get hot so Lilly takes off her blouse and ties it around her waist. She lets her hair out of its ponytail and slips the scrunchie onto her wrist. Underneath, she's wearing a black tank top. A warm breeze ripples through the air, causing her hair to fan out behind her. Once they reach the sand, Scotty spreads a blanket out on the beach, a safe distance from the seashore. Lilly sets Alexia down on the blanket between her and Scotty, to let her crawl around. She watches her carefully to make sure Alexia doesn't eat any sand. Scotty looks out at the ocean and then back at Lilly.

"You'd think you were her mother", Scotty says teasingly, with a smirk. "The way you watch her."

Lilly glares at him but smiles. She gives him a playful smack on the shoulder and says, "I don't know if I should take that as an insult or a compliment."

"Hey I'm just saying…" he says smiling.

They both burst out laughing. Alexia looks at up at them and joins them in laughter, which only makes them laugh harder. Scotty scoops her up from the blanket and swings her around in the air. She bursts out in a fit of giggles. Lilly gets up nervously and watches them closely to make sure he doesn't accidently drop her. When he finally stops, he's a bit dizzy and he turns around, nearly bumping into Lilly, who's directly behind him. Somehow they ended up standing very close together, nearly face to face. His breath is hot and heavy on her skin and she's afraid to look at him, for fear of revealing the truth she's been trying to hide and deny for so long. Their eyes meet and she finds it rather hard to breath. There's something she can't describe, a magnetic force that keeps her from pulling away. As the wind blows, it whips a strand of blond hair from behind her ear to in front of her face. He brushes it aside without thinking. His fingers feel so tender and gentle on her skin. She closes her eyes as his lips brush over hers. She returns his kiss, eagerly almost hungrily. Such a strong overwhelming wave of desire. She clings to him as another warm breeze ripples through the air. He holds her with a strong yet gentle grip. Neither one of them wants to break the moment but Alexia however has a different opinion. She fidgets and wriggles in Scotty's arms, forcing them apart. They both laugh as Lilly takes Alexia from his arms. She speaks to her softly as they walk towards the seashore. Lilly gazes out at the ocean and the horizon as the sun starts to set slowly. He doesn't move for a minute, thinking about what just happened. Finally he joins her at the water's edge. Neither one of them says anything for awhile. Finally she says, "What about the lone wolf rule?"

"I didn't mean that. It was just one of my pathetic excuses for my stupid behavior."He pauses before continuing. "After Elisa I kind of lost it for awhile."

"I remember. You shut me out for the longest time," she says with a tone of hurt in her voice. "I tried to get through to you, to understand what you were going through but you wouldn't let me. What hurt the most was… Was what happened afterwards." She finishes quietly

"I'm sorry. For everything I've put you through. It wasn't fair to you. But I can't pretend anymore. I tried for the longest time to deny what I was feeling. You know me; I don't do good with feelings but I have to tell you this."

He pauses. "I love you. I have for a long time and the last few days made me realize how scared I am to lose you."

"Saccardo…"

"We both know the truth, Lil. He's a great guy but he's not right for you." "Lilly", he says as he takes her shoulders and turns her to face him. Her normally ice blue eyes soften a bit as they meet his dark brown ones.

"I know you feel it too. Deep down inside, it'll always be there."

She doesn't answer him for a long time. "It's getting late", she says softly. She backs away from him slowly, then turns around and walks away with Alexia in her arms.


	3. Chapter 3

He doesn't know quite how to react. He simply stands there for awhile. He just poured his heart out to her and she pulled the typical ice queen routine. Finally, he grabs the blanket from the sand and runs to catch up with Lilly. When he reaches her side, she doesn't say anything. They walk side by side back to the motel room. Once they reach their room, she stops with her hand on the doorknob.

"Don't tell Cristina anything", she says quietly. When they enter the room, Cristina is sitting at the table surrounded by cartons of Chinese food.

"I got hungry, so I ordered some dinner. You guys hungry." She asks, holding a carton of food.

"Sure", Scotty says. He closes the door as Lilly sits down with Alexia in her lap. They eat dinner with minimal conversation. Throughout the entire meal, Lilly avoids any form of contact with Scotty. Cristina doesn't seem to notice. After dinner they clean up and get ready to go to bed. Lilly takes one bed, Scotty settles on the couch, and Cristina and Alexia take the other bed. But Lilly can't sleep. The day's events keep replaying in her head over and over again. The kiss on the beach. Scotty's confession. It was all so overwhelming. Throughout her childhood, she'd always been the adult, the person in charge, because her mother was too busy being a fallen over drunk. She had to grow up fast and she developed an ice queen routine, to shield herself from getting hurt. She hadn't learned how to respond to feelings, other than just completely shutting them out. In a way they scared her. One of her biggest fears was opening up and trusting someone but end up getting hurt in the end. But Scotty wasn't like everyone else. But then again memories of the past, made her think otherwise. She wanted so badly to trust him, to open up to him. Her conscience nagged at her, _Then what's holding you back?_

_Everything and nothing. _

She rubbed her eyes and looked around. The room felt hot and stuffy. Everyone else appeared to be asleep, so she got up from her bed quietly and crept outside. The cool air felt refreshing on her skin. She leaned on the railing and looked out over the parking lot. The door creaks open and closed behind her. She doesn't need to turn around to see who it is; she already knows. He walks up beside her and also leans on the railing. He looks out towards the parking lot but doesn't say anything. They stand in silence for a long time. Finally she says, "Does this mean we're not good cops?"

"No." He says firmly turning to her. "It just means we don't fit the stereotype of a "good cop"."

She turns to look at him, with a different look in her eyes. Something he couldn't identify but he knew he'd never seen before. At last she says, "I love you too", without removing her eyes from his. She kisses him softly. He pulls her close and kisses her long and hard. They get caught up and a bit tangled. His hands run through her hair and body, lightly, stroking her softly. His kisses get more urgent as her hands move downwards from his chest to his waist. She fiddles with the buttons on his shirt as she slowly unbuttons it. Suddenly, the air seems to get humid and hot again but this time it's different. They stumble around and nearly fall into the next room. The door wasn't fully closed but the room is empty. He smiles mischievously and pushes the door open the rest of the way. She follows him inside and closes the door behind her. He locks the door and they stumble onto the bed. She continues to unbutton his shirt as his hands find the bottom of her tank top. He continues to kiss her as she unbuckles his belt and pants. He pulls off her top and slides his fingers in the waistband of her pants. He lavishes her with kisses as their hands roam everywhere. Finally they are together the way two people in love should be. Seven years of pent of sexual tension are erased in that one moment. They make love over and over again all night long. A couple hours before sunrise, they both fall asleep, tangled in the motel sheets. His arm is draped around her protectively and she had her head on his chest.

A few hours later, she wakes up to streaks of bright sunlight on her face. She looks around for Scotty, and hears the shower running in the bathroom. She smiles, remembering last night, or rather early this morning. She gets up and heads to the bathroom. She opens the door quietly and hot steam surrounds her. She slides the shower curtain aside and slips in behind him, kissing his neck. He smiles and turns around to kiss her.

"Morning, beautiful."

"Morning", she responds returning his kisses. The shower is quickly forgotten and they fool around for awhile. When they finally they manage to get out of the shower, they each dress quickly. Lilly tries to straighten out the room as best as she can, to erase any trace of their presence in the room. As he finishes getting dressed, she can feel his eyes on her. She turns around and asks "What?"

"Have I ever told you how beautiful you are?"

"If I recall correctly, several times in the past twelve hours", she says walking up to him. He wraps his arms around her waist and kisses her. She smiles and returns his kiss. He continues to kiss her but she reluctantly pulls away.

"What's wrong?"He asks, slightly confused." Did I do something?"

"No, it just that… Well, we better stop before this turns into last night and this morning again." He groans and grudgingly pulls away. "You're right." He says disappointedly. He opens the door, letting her walk out before him. He closes the door behind him and turns around. Before she knew what was happening, he kissed her quick and briefly.

"Last time. I promise." He says, smiling. She pretends to glare at him but ends up laughing at his "innocent face".

"Hey, I can't help it if you're so irresistibly beautiful."

She can't contain the smile on her face as a slow blush appears on her checks.

"I love you", she says kissing him

"I love you too", he answers with a smile, stroking the soft skin of her face and kissing her back.

She smiles and they return to their room next door.


	4. Chapter 4

Sorry it took me so long to post this chapter. Freshman year of college is finally catching up with me. I'll try to update as soon as possible. Thanks for all the great reviews! Enjoy!

**Chapter Four**

Lilly turns around just in time to see Alexia giggling and running away with a fistful of crayons in her hand. She looks at the wall where Alexia was standing and sure enough it was covered in Crayola scribbles. She set the Tupperware container she's holding, down, on the kitchen counter and goes after the giggly toddler. How one tiny little baby can have so much energy and make such a big mess was still a complete mystery to her. But as she walks into the living room, she's greeted by a new mess. Alexia pulled books, picture frames, and anything else she could find, off the bookshelf and strewed them all over the living room. Lilly lets out an exasperated sigh as the front door opens. Alexia immediately drops the blanket she's dragging around and turns her attention to the door. Scotty comes in to find a very frustrated Lilly standing in the middle of a huge mess and Alexia having the time of her life. Alexia looks over at the door and drops what she's doing as she runs over to him.

"Dadda!" She says smiling. Scotty puts the bags in his hands down on the floor next to the front table to scoops her up.

"Hey princess!" He says as he tickles her and kisses her all over. Lilly can't help but smile at the sight of the two of them. He walks over to her and kisses her. She kisses him back and they get a bit caught up, despite the fact that he's still holding Alexia. Alexia, however, frowns and pushes Scotty's face away from Lilly, with her tiny little hand, and says, with a pout, "No. My dadda."

Lilly and Scotty both burst out laughing. Once they finally stop, Scotty notices Lilly looking around the living room at the huge mess. He kisses her on the check and says, "You look exhausted. Why don't you go lie down while I put her to bed? I'll come back and clean up this mess once I'm done."

"Okay." She says as she heads to their bedroom. Scotty walks down the hall towards the bathroom with Alexia in his arms.

"Ready for a bath, princess?"

"No, no bath", she says stubbornly.

"Okay then, how about a bubble party?"

"Bubble potty?"

"No not potty. Party."

"Party", she repeats, as they both disappear into the bathroom. But just as Lilly starts to lie down she remembers she has some errands to run. So instead she gets up and grabs her purse off the dresser. _I might as well go take care of those errands now that I have some spare time_, she thinks to herself. She knocks briefly before entering the bathroom. Alexia is happily splashing around in the tub, as a water soaked Scotty turns around. She can't help but let out a laugh as she takes a good look at him.

"I'm sorry, it's just that…." She stops to giggle and says, "You have a bubble mustache."

He smiles as he wipes his face off with a towel. She remembers her original purpose for coming into the bathroom in the first place and says,

"I just wanted to let you know, I'm gonna run over to the pharmacy around the corner, really quick. We're out of milk and a couple of other things."

"Okay." He says, getting up to give her a kiss. She starts to leave the bathroom and he turns his attention back to Alexia. But then he says, "Oh and by the way, I got dinner. It's by the front door."

"Okay. I'll be back in a bit."

"Love you."

"Love you too", she says closing the bathroom door. She walks out to the living room and picks up the bags of food from next to the door. As she walks over to the dining table to set the bags down, she catches a whiff of the food. Chinese food. She loves Chinese food but this time, for some odd reason, it turns her stomach a bit. She ignores it and slips on her coat. She grabs her keys off the front table and locks the door behind her once she's out. It's a nice fall evening outside. It's a bit chilly but there's a comfortable warm breeze running around outside that makes the weather more pleasant. Once she arrives at the pharmacy, she picks up the milk and some other things. But as she heads to the checkout counter, she stops in the tampon aisle. As she looks at the shelves, she remembers something. She stops adding up the total cost of the groceries in her mind and starts adding up days instead. She adds them over and over again but no matter how many times she does, she still gets the same answer. She almost two months later. She's never been more than a week late but she'd be, she been so busy lately she hadn't noticed. She walks a little further ahead and picks up a narrow rectangular box. A pregnancy test. She starts to walk away but then turns and takes another one, just in case. The entire walk home, she can't stop thinking. Finally, she gets home and opens the door to find Scotty nearly finished cleaning the living room.

Hey, he says, placing a pillow on the couch.

Hey, she answers quietly, deep in thought. He walks towards her but she avoids his eyes and heads for the kitchen. She places the bags down on the counter and starts to put the groceries away. She hears him come in behind her but doesn't dare turns around for fear that her facial expression might give her thoughts away.

He walks up behind her and kisses her neck as he mummers; "Alexia is bathed and fast asleep in bed."

She pulls away and says, "Not tonight Scotty."

He watches her for a minute then asks, "What's wrong?"

"I'm just really tired, that's all", she says pulling half a gallon of milk from the bag and putting it in the refrigerator. He starts to help her with the remaining groceries, and reaches for the next bag. Before she can stop him, he pulls out the pregnancy test. She turns around to find him holding the pregnancy test.

"Are you…?" He asks, seriously.

She takes a breath as she says, "I don't know yet. I didn't want to tell you until I was sure. I went down to the pharmacy and as I was adding up the groceries, I passed by that aisle and realized I'm nearly two months late, so… I picked one up, just in case."

He puts the box down on the counter and hugs her. She sinks into his embrace, relived.

"You're not mad?" She asks in a muffled voice, her face buried in his shirt.

"Of course not. Why would I be mad? We're having a baby."

"We might be having a baby", she corrects as they pull apart. He kisses her and says, "Why don't you go find out while I get dinner ready."

She takes both pregnancy tests and starts towards the bathroom but suddenly stops and turns around.

"Scotty?"

"Yeah", he says, turning around.

"Can we skip the Chinese food tonight? It's making me a little nauseous."

"Sure", he says, closing the carton in front of him. "I'll just put it in the fridge."

She smiles and walks off to the bathroom.


	5. Chapter 5

Lilly Rush emerges from the bathroom a few minutes later, empty handed.

"So…" he asks impatiently.

She smiles and says, "It's not instant Scotty. It takes a few minutes."

She sinks onto the couch as he paces around impatiently. The minutes seem to tick by like hours. Finally, the five minutes pass. She gets up and returns from the bathroom holding both pregnancy tests. Scotty looks at her expectantly and asks, "What does it say?"

She doesn't answer him as she silently walks towards him. She hands him both pregnancy tests. He looks at one, then the other. The first had a pink plus sign and the second says, in bold blue letters, "Pregnant." He looks up at her and smiles broadly, as her face breaks out into a smile. He scoops her up and swings her around. When he stops, he kisses her, long and deep. He puts her down on the couch and sits next to her. She looks into his warm sparkling; chestnut eyes and says, "We're having a baby."

He looks at her with adoring eyes and smiles as he kisses her again. She kisses him back. As they're making out on the couch, things start to get heated. But just as things are starting to get somewhere, they hear a cry from one of the bedrooms. It's Alexia. Scotty groans as they both sit up. Lilly starts to get up but he stops her.

"I'll get her" he says." You just rest."

She smiles and kisses him once more. She sinks back onto the couch. He gets up and disappears into the hallway. He returns a few minutes later holding Alexia, who is sobbing inconsolably into his chest. When she sees Lilly, she wiggles and extends her arms towards her. Scotty sits next to Lilly on the couch and hands Alexia over to her. Alexia curls up in Lilly's lap and her sobs diminish, as Lilly rubs her back soothingly.

"What happened?" Lilly asks quietly, as Alexia starts to get drowsy.

"She had a nightmare."He answers as he also tries to comfort Alexia.

Alexia finally stops crying and falls asleep again, in Lilly's arms. Lilly gets up very carefully, with the baby in her arms. But as soon as she's up, Scotty takes Alexia from her arms. Lilly protests a bit as she hands Alexia over. He whispers, "You shouldn't be lifting heavy things."

"She's not that heavy." Lilly protests.

They both walk to Alexia's room. Lilly turns the covers down in Alexia's bed as Scotty gently places her down. Alexia stirs and settles back down to sleep, clutching her pink stuffed rabbit. Lilly smiles as she watches Scotty tuck Alexia into bed carefully, from the doorway. The nervous fluttery feeling she had in the pit of her stomach when she picked up the pregnancy tests at the pharmacy, was gone in that single moment. Because watching Scotty, tuck Alexia in the way he did, settled all her fears and worries. Every doubt she had about what kind of father he'd be was completely gone. And she was sure. He was going to be an amazing father because he was an amazing person. He turned on Alexia's nightlight as he left the room. They left the door slightly ajar, so light from the hallway could go into Alexia's room. He slipped his arm around Lilly's waist as she leaned her head against his shoulder. They retuned to the living room and snuggled on the couch, as they watched TV. Shortly after, Lilly fell asleep in Scotty's arms. When he noticed she was asleep, he gently slipped his arm out from under her. Then he slowly scooped her up in his arms and carries her to their bedroom. She's so tired she doesn't even stir as he sets her down and tucks her into their bed. He turns off the lights and crawls into bed beside her.


	6. Chapter 6

_I am soo, sooo sorry its taken FOREVER to update this story. No amount of apologizing will ever make up for the amount of time I've neglected this story, but hopefully you guys will enjoy this chapter and others to follow very soon. I mean it this time. I 'm working on an ending, which hopefully you'll love. In the meantime, here's the next chapter! As always, I own nothing expect the story idea. Character and their likeness are property of CBS. Read, review, and enjoy! :D_

**Chapter Six: Scotty's P.O.V.**

The months passed by so quickly, it all seemed like a blur to him. The first month nothing had really changed in their lives and he'd made the mistake of starting to relax. At first, he'd been excited when he discovered Lilly was pregnant, but the panic eventually hit, a few weeks later. Suddenly, he realized the extremity of having a child and starting a family with Lilly. He didn't know the first thing about kids. He had niece and nephews but it wasn't the same as having your own kid.Of course the though of having a family and being married, had crossed his mind on more than one occasion, but this certainly wasn't how he envisioned it. Not that their current situation was bad or anything, it just wasn't traditional. In his mind, for some reason he'd imagined, marriage first, then a family. This seemed strangely backward, which also lead him to the thought of marriage. Should he propose to Lilly? But when he though about it, he figured he'd know when it was the right time to propose. And now certainly wasn't the right time. He didn't want her to think he was proposing because she was pregnant. He loved her and he knew he wanted to marry her but now just wasn't the right time. So he decided to put the proposal off for the moment, or at least until the baby was born.

Lilly's pregnancy had been a wonder and a nightmare, all at the same time. He'd always heard the phrase "calm before the storm" but he wasn't the type to believe in common sayings. Although if he had been, he might have been slightly prepared for the roller coaster he had just gotten on. The first few months it was morning sickness. At first, it had been light, barley noticeable. She couldn't take the smell of coffee, so they eliminated all the coffee in the house. But then it started to affect and alter their entire lives. Some nights she couldn't sleep because she'd spend the entire night in the bathroom, throwing up. He sat by her side, handing her glasses of water and holding her hair back. He'd learned to stay away from any kind of chicken if he wanted to be anywhere near her. One day, he had Chinese for lunch, while she wasn't around. He made sure to brush teeth and he'd drank about five gallons of water before he went home that night. The second he tried to kiss her hello, that night, when he got home, she smelled the chicken. He spent the night on the couch and she in the bathroom. When the nausea ended, the cravings and the mood swings started.The cravings were mostly centered on some sort of fruit. One night she woke up around two a.m. craving watermelon and cheese crackers. Although he certainly didn't enjoy trips to the grocery store at one in the morning, the mood swings were the worst. One minute she was fine and happy, the next she didn't want him within the same building as her. She defiantly kept him on alert at all times. He had to be prepared for whatever mood she might be in next. The mood swings confused him and he never knew what to do when she suddenly lashed out at him. It wasn't like her typically ice queen routine. He'd learned how to handle that, but this was different. He'd finally resorted to staying out of her way.According to his family, mainly his parents, since it was Lilly's first pregnancy, the mood swings were normal due to hormones and all. Just when he thought he'd mastered the mood swings, the fifth month came and the problem became the weight gain. And along with the weight, gain came crabbiness. Until then, she hadn't had to make any changes in her wardrobe. But that quickly changed, once her stomach started to round out more visibly. At first, they both enjoyed the change but she quickly grew tired of it. One morning, as they got ready for work, she locked herself in their room and refused to come out. When he finally managed to coax her out, she was wearing sweatpants and one of his t-shirts. She woken up that morning to the realization that nothing in her closet fit anymore. She'd always been slender and the weight gain clearly upset her. After a shopping trip, they both agreed it was time to tell the team; one, because they had no choice, and two, because it was getting harder to hide Lilly's symptoms. They both agreed the boss should be the first to know. He seemed to have some sort of sixth sense when it came to Lilly, and he already seemed to suspect something was up. They arranged a meeting with him early one morning while no one else was around. When they finally broke the news to him, he didn't say much. He had warned them about some possible work related complications, which they had already considered. He offered his congratulations, wishing them both the best and offered them as much time as they needed for maternity leave. They decided to leave that discussion for later since the rest of the team began to arrive. They'd been nervous to tell the team but once they did, the team was pleasantly surprised and excited. Will and Nick offered their congratulations, while opening up to the idea of being uncles and have baby as an addition to the team, while Kate and Lilly began to compare pregnancy stories.

Despite all those things, he loved every minute of her pregnancy. Watching their baby grow inside Lilly, feeling the tiny kicks. It was like magic, the most amazing thing in the world. All that he could see was Lilly and his baby. They were the only things that mattered. He could get through anything for the two of them. He didn't mind her morning sickness, the cravings, the mood swings. Nothing else mattered.

The months flew by and no matter how many books he read, no matter how many classes he attended, he was still scared to death about that final moment. Labor and the birth. He'd read and heard countless horror stories of father's passing out during labor. Father's freaking out, throwing up. And this was such an important moment in his, in their lives. Lilly needed him and he wanted to be there for her. But he was so afraid of doing something wrong. All he could do was hope he wouldn't do something stupid. They both had to make a lot of changes to ensure they were doing what's best for the baby. Their old apartment was barely enough for the three of them but now with the new baby, they defiantly need a new place. So they started house hunting and sure enough, they found a nice townhouse within walking distance to a few local commercial districts. It had five bedrooms, two bathrooms, and a spacious den downstairs with an office. They planned to give one of the extra bedrooms to Cristina when she got out of rehab. She was doing really well so far, and hopefully, she'd be out in a few months.

As Lilly's pregnancy progressed, eventually, the discussion of maternity leave came up again. He and Stillman both thought Lilly should take a nine-month maternity leave, starting with her eight month of pregnancy, but, of course, Lilly wouldn't hear of it. The earliest she agreed to take off before the baby was two weeks, with a three-month leave after the baby was born. Although that solution didn't satisfy either Stillman or himself, Lilly wasn't budging, so they both reluctantly agreed. Luckily, they managed to convince her to stick to desk duty for the last two months, which seemed to appease them both, but slightly displeased Lilly. However, she seemed a little less discontent when the boss agreed to let her into an occasional interrogation. Still, this ride was far from over and all he could do was wait and see what would happen next.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven: Lilly's P.O.V.**

Now in her final month of pregnancy, sometimes the events of the past year seemed surreal. A few years ago, if someone had told her she'd be living with Scotty, expecting his baby, and looking after her two-year-old niece, she would have laughed. Sometimes she felt as if her relationship with Scotty had evolved so fast, yet other times they seemed so compatible, it seemed as if they'd been together for years. The transition from being partners to being romantically involved hadn't been easy, but she didn't regret a minute of it. Scotty had been incredible to both her and Alexia.

It hadn't been easy to adjust from a solitary life to life with a baby. After checking Cristina into the rehab facility, she'd taken some time off from work to get Alexia settled into her house. Scotty showed up on her doorstep on her first night alone with Alexia, with a bag of Chinese food and some baby necessities. In a way, that's how their relationship began. After the night at the beach, they hadn't really had time to discuss where they stood in their relationship. She'd been a bit preoccupied with Alexia and Cristina. At first, Scotty only came over after work, to help with Alexia before bedtime. Then he started spending the nights on her couch, after they discovered he had a special connection with Alexia. When Alexia woke up in the middle of the night, she always asked for Scotty.

The pregnancy had certainly added pressure and work to Scotty but he'd handled it wonderfully. She knew she was awful to him sometimes, and she always felt guilty after lashed out at him. Sometimes, it seems, she couldn't control her emotions. She was used to being in charge, in control of herself, but the pregnancy had certainly made that difficult. On top of that, Alexia wasn't particularly happy about Lilly's pregnancy. At times, she seemed downright jealous, but her behavior was understandable, after all, she had been an only child her entire life. Scotty had been particularly patient with her, always making sure to set some time apart for just the two of them, which seemed to easy her jealousy about the new baby. She and Scotty had agreed they wanted the baby's gender to be a surprise, although she secretly knew he was hoping for a boy. She didn't care if the baby was a boy or a girl, because despite the fact that she hadn't even seen her baby yet, she already loved him or her more than she could understand.

She'd insisted on working during her final months of pregnancy, which hadn't pleased Scotty, or the boss too much. She already felt sluggish, and taking time off before the baby just made her feel worse. Working made her feel better, and besides she wasn't used to staying at home and doing nothing. But although she was still working, she'd been banned from any field duties and confined to desk duty, aside from an occasional integration. Scotty had somewhat opened up to the idea of her still working; one, because he didn't have a choice, once she made it clear that she wasn't going to change her mind, and two, because her presence at work made it easier for him to hover. Although it was sweet that he cared so much about her that he worried, it could also be a bit irritating. Sometimes she just needed some space, some time alone to think, or relax. But despite all the changes in her life over the past year, she didn't regret a minute of it.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight: Lilly's P.O.V. continued**

For the past two months, they'd been working on a particularly difficult case. So far they haden't gotten very far, but last week they'd caught a lucky break and finally seemed to be getting somewhere. She felt unusual that morning as she got up, but she didn't put much thought into it, as she got ready for work. Throughout the week, she been feeling an urgency to get things done, particularly for the baby. They had all the necessary baby things but the nursery room was a mess. The crib was partially assembled and only one wall was painted the right color. It was strange, it never bothered her before but this week was different. She felt on edge, panicked, unprepared. She finally forced Scotty to finish putting together the baby's room a few days ago. Once the room was done, she felt better, but still restless. Today, the feeling was some how more intense, but she brushed it off as she got ready for work. Scotty always woke up before her, to get Alexia ready and drop her off at daycare, on his way to work. He liked to let her sleep in a bit and she appreciated it, especially the past few months when she started to feel more tired and sluggish. As she was finishing blow-drying her hair, Scotty and Alexia came in to say goodbye before they left. They both kissed her goodbye, and Scotty said he'd see her at work. Once she got into work, she forgot all about the odd feelings she'd had that morning. The office was nearly empty, aside from a few technicians, administrative aides, the boss, Kat and herself. Will and Nick were out invesitageting a possible lead, and Stillman was in his office. Scotty had just called to say he'd be in a little late because he had to stop by the house again to pick up an important file he'd forgotten that morning. Kat was in the break room, getting some coffee. She was just getting settled at her desk when she noticed a woman who just walked in. She was older, probably late forty's with pale brown hair that had streaks of gray in it. She looked around nervously, her eyes landed on Lilly as Lilly stood from her desk.

"Are you a detective?" The woman asked, her eyes nervously darting around the room.

"Yes, can I help you?" Lilly responded as she made her way towards the woman.

The woman paused before saying, "I have some information on Riley," she said in a hushed voice.

The name caught Lilly's attention immediately. Riley was the name of one of the victims from the case they were working. Lilly lead the woman to an empty interrogation room and told her to wait a moment. Just as she closed the door to the interogationb room, Kat walked out of the breakroom with a cup of coffee. Lilly quickly filled her in on the woman in the interrogation room and what she had just said. Kat put her mug down on her desk and followed Lilly into the interrogation room. As Kat closed the door, Lilly turned to the woman to introduce themselves.

"I'm Detective Rush. This is Detective Miller. You said you had some information on Riley."

"Yes." She pauses before saying, He was my..."

Lilly and Kat's eyes meet as Lilly take a seat at the table.

"Boyfriend?" Kat says walking around the table behind Lilly.

"Not exactly. I had a boyfriend, but it wasn't Riley."

"So you and Riley were having an affair." Lilly concludes.

"Yes."

"Was your boyfriend aware of your relationship with Riley?" Kat asks.

"That's why I'm here. I didn't think he was. I mean, Riley and I were discrete. At least we tried to be, or I thought we were." She pauses for a moment but before she can say anything, they hear a loud noise outside followed by yells and screams. Kat and Lilly both glance at each other before Kat walks over to the door, to see what's going on outside. She pauses for a second with her hand on the doorknob, motioning for Lilly and the woman to stay back. Kat opens the door cautiously and slowly. She can't see anything from her vantage point at the doorway, except for people crouching behind office furniture. As she creeps out of the room to figure out what's going on, a series of shots ring out, followed by more screams. As she ducks to avoid the shots, she almost bumps into Lilly who was creeping close behind. Kat motions for them to head back into the room but just then a man appears from around the corner, wearing a ski mask and hold a gun. His gaze quickly lands on them and the woman in the interrogation room behind them. Anger flashes in his eyes as he points the gun at Lilly and says, "Both of you. Back in the room."


	9. Chapter 9

Note:The italics is the argument going on in Lilly's mind

**Chapter Nine: Lilly**

Kat and Lilly slowly backed into the room, moving steadily yet cautiously without turning their backs to the gunman. The gunman turned back towards the roomful of people behind him and yelled, "Anyone tries to come in here and I'll kill them all. Starting with the pregnant one." He fires a few warning shots into the air before slamming and locking the door shut. He turns around and points the gun at Lilly and Kat again. "You two." He says gesturing with the gun. "In the corner. No talking or I'll shot." Lilly and Kat do as they're told, moving to the corner. The gunman then turns his attention to the woman at the table.

"Please don't do this" the woman begs with tears in her eyes.

"I warned you." The gunman says flatly, pointing the gun at her.

"They don't know anything. I didn't tell them anything yet" The woman chocks out amidst sobs.

Suddenly, Lilly feels a sharp pinch of pain in her abdomen. She grimaces and tries to hide her face from Kat, who notice before she can.

"What's wrong?" Kat whispers quietly without taking her eyes off the gunman, who is still yelling at the woman.

"Nothing." Lilly says trying to brush it off. She strokes her bulging stomach as she tries to even out her breathing. In the back of her mind, she's trying to ignore a little thought that keeps popping up, for the sake of keeping herself calm.

_What if I'm having contractions? Could I possibly be in labor? _One side of her mind says quietly.

The rational side of her mind immediately tries to discard that thought. _It couldn't possibly be. It's too early. It's nearly two weeks before the due date. It's not possible._

Before her rational mind could answer, it was momentarily canceled out by another sharp pain. She tries to breath without screaming and barley make it through the pain without a sound. Kat whispers, "You're having contractions aren't you?"

Lilly lets out a breath and says, "Don't be ridiculous. It's just some mild discomfort. Besides I'm not due for another two weeks."

"You and I both know that due date is only approximate."

"No. It can't be. It's too soon," Lilly says starting to panic.

"Shh... just try to stay calm. Labor can be induced by high stress situations." Kat says giving Lilly her hand to hold as another contraction hits. "Breathing helps with the contractions." Lilly clutches Kat's hand in a death grip towards the peak of the contraction. Once it's over, Kat tries to follow her own advice and remain calm but it isn't easy. Suddenly she has an idea.

"Do you have your phone?" She asks Lilly. Lilly pulls out her cell phone and hands it to her. Kat types out a quick but detailed text message to Scotty without taking her eyes off the woman and the gunman across the room. Thankfully Veronica had taught her how to text without looking at the screen. She never thought she'd need to know how to text without looking at the message, but she was thankful she did. Still, she glances at the message briefly before sending it. She turns off the phone volume before putting it in her pocket and refocusing her attention on the gunman while helping Lilly through the next contraction. The contractions were coming on fast and she silently prayed Scotty had his phone and that her message had been received.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter Ten- Scotty**

_Twenty minutes earlier_

Scotty Valens honked his car horn impatiently as traffic slowed to a crawl. It should have only taken thirty minutes to get to the office, but there was a traffic jam a block away from the office. As he peered around the line of cars in front of him, he realized the cause for the traffic jam appeared to be some kind of roadblock. As he approached the front of the line, an officer approached his window. Scotty rolled his window down as the officer said, "I'm sorry sir. This road is closed due to police operations. Which way are you headed? I can direct you to an alternate route to reach your destination."

Scotty pulls out his badge as he introduces himself. "Detective Valens. Philadelphia P.D. What's going on?"

"Hostage situation at the prescient on 6th. We were ordered to redirect traffic away from the situation."

"That's my team. I need to get in there."

"I'm sorry but we're not supposed to…"

"Look I'm going to get through one way or another. Either you let me through, or I run through the roadblock. It's your choice."

The officer sighs and says, "I'll see what I can do." He turns and walks back to the other officers directing the roadblock. They talk for a minute. One of the officers' says something on the radio, while two other move the orange cones blocking the street to the office. Almost immediately, Scotty speeds through the opening, waving to the officers with one hand. He arrives a few minutes later, pulling into the parking lot full of fire, EMS, and police. There are at least a half a dozen paramedics treating several wounded people. An ambulance speeds past him, sirens and lights blazing, on its way to the hospital. As he gets out of his car, he scans the parking lot, looking for any familiar faces. Suddenly, he spots Nick sitting in the back of an ambulance, being bandaged up by a paramedic.

"Nick!" He yells, getting out of his car and slamming the door as he runs towards him. "What the hell happened?"

"Will and I just got back from the field. We were at our desk and a masked gunman walks in and starts yelling and waving a gun. I tried to go over and calm the guy down and he shot me." Nick said wincing a bit as the paramedic finished tightening up the bandage. "Boss tried to help me and the gunman shot him too. Ambulance just took the boss to the hospital. He's in pretty bad shape."

"Have you seen Lil'?"

"She was in an interrogation room with Kat and some woman. They tried to get out while the gunman was shooting up half the office personnel, but gunman saw then. He went nuts when he saw the woman. She's probably the reason he came in the first place. He forced Kat, Lil, and the woman back into the room. Threatened to shot them all if anyone tried to go into the room. No one could really help anyways. Whole bunch of people wounded. Police and paramedics took awhile to get everyone out. Will's working with the hostage team now. They're trying to find a safe way in."

"How long have they been in there?" Scotty asks running his hand through his hair as he paces around.

"Probably about a half an hour. Maybe more." Nick says getting up from the back bumper of the ambulance. The paramedic moves on to the next injured person. Just then, Scotty's phone vibrates loudly. He digs around in his pocket for his phone, for a few minutes before realizing the phone is in his coat pocket. He flips open the phone, as the screen flashes and beeps.

_**New Text Message**_

_**From Lilly**_

_L & I in Rm 3, left corner_

_ UnSub & woman in front right, by door_

_ Don't have much time. L in labor. Hurry!_

_ K._

**************** Ooh, suspense! What do you think Scotty is going to do? Update coming soon! :D


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter Eleven-Scotty **_**cont.**_

"Dammit!" Scotty says pounding his fist against the side of the ambulance.

"What's wrong?" Nick says.

"You mean besides Lilly being held hostage?" Scotty snaps thrusting the phone at him. As Nick reads the message he says, "You need to show this to Will." Nick hands Scotty back the phone. Scotty takes of running in the direction of where he last saw Will. Stupid thoughts won't stop accusing him in the back of his mind. This shouldn't have happened, not to Lilly, not now. He should have been the one that interrogation room. He should have been in the office when that woman came in. He should have protected Lilly. Why on earth did he go home for that stupid file? It was just a pile of paper and now he was on the verge of losing two of the most valuable things to him in the world. He ran faster as he spotted Will towards the front entrance of the building. He must have been yelling or doing something to attract attention because Will immediately came towards him, meeting him halfway. Panting and out breath, Scotty stops and hands Will the phone with the message still on the screen. Will reads it and turns back to the SWAT team conferring behind him. He shows the commander the text message. After scanning the message briefly, the commander turns towards Scotty and asks, "Who is this?"

"Detective Valens," Scotty says flashing his badge.

"Is Detective Rush your wife?"

"Girlfriend. She's in labor, we need to get her out of there" Scotty says hastily.

"With all due respect, Detective," The commander says handing Scotty back the phone, "you can't be involved in this."

"I am involved. That's my wife and child in there."

"I thought you said she was your girlfriend."

"Does it really matter? The fact is that I am involved, she's having my baby, and we need to get her out of there! Now!" Scotty says raising his voice in frustration.

"You're personally involved. You might further compromise the situation, There's a conflict of interest and…"

"Don't give me that bureaucratic crap," Scotty says cutting him off the commander, who proceeds to glare at Jeffries. Jefferies takes Scotty aside and says, "You need to take a step back here Scotty. Just take a deep breath."

"I can't. Lilly's in there. She's in trouble, she needs help…" Scotty says trailing off, his mood changing from anger to panicked desperation.

"We'll get her out. I promise. Scotty…" Will says gripping him by the shoulders. "We'll get her out," Will repeats, trying to calm Scotty down. At the same times, Scotty fights back a nervous breakdown.

"Okay," Scotty says struggling to breath. "Okay."

Just then, the commander of the SWAT team gestures for Will to return to the group. Will returns and Scotty paces around, trying to calm himself down, for a few minutes. Suddenly, a thought hits him. He proceeds to begin to walk back to him car, as calmly and slowly as possible while he's still in eyesight of Will and the SWAT team. Once he's out of sight, he picks up his pace and nearly runs into Nick who's still waiting by the car. Scotty opens the truck and hastily takes off his coat, throwing it in the truck. He pauses, then reaches for his coat again. He digs in the pocket and retrieves his cell phone, throwing the coat back in with his other hand. He types out a quick message and sends it before tossing the phone into the truck with his coat. He grabs a bulletproof vest out of the trunk and puts it on as Nick reaches for the phone in the trunk of the car. As Scotty adjusts the vest, Nick quickly scans the last sent message on the phone

_**Last Sent Message**_

_**To Lilly**_

_ I'm coming._

_ Tell Lilly I love her and I said "hey"_

_ S._

************ Is Nick going to let Scotty go in alone? Is Scotty going to let anyone stop him? Stay tuned! :D*****


	12. Chapter 12

_Note: This chapter was supposed to be from Lilly's pov but I didn't feel right about ending Scotty's pov yet, so this is continued from last chapter. Don't worry it's short, sweet, and to the point. Returning to Lilly's pov in ch 13. Suffering from mild writer's block, but it seems to be over, so hopefully this story will be done soon. Enjoy! :D_

**Chapter Twelve- Scotty**

For a minute, Nick simply stand there, Scotty's cell phone still in his hand. Then, suddenly, a wave of reality hits him. He shoves the cell phone in his pocket as he takes off running behind Scotty. Luckily, Scotty is still crouched behind a squad car, trying to find an entry point into the building, since all the doors are guarded.

"Scotty!" Nick whispers loudly, crouching beside him.

"Dammit Nick, what the hell are you doing here?"

"Stopping you," Nick says trying to catching his breath.

"You gotta be out of your freakin' mind. Now if you don't mind I'm trying to concentrate here," Scotty says, eying the guard on the back door, who seems to be contemplating going around the front to check on things, giving Scotty the perfect opportunity to sneak in, unnoticed.

"Actually I do mind. I'm not going to let you commit suicide."

"I'd rather commit suicide than watch my wife and child get murdered."

"You and Lil are married?" Nick says, raising his voice a bit in surprise.

"Why is that the part everyone focuses on? Has everyone forgotten Lil, Kat and my unborn baby are in there, being held hostage by a gunman?" Scotty says loudly. Luckily everyone around them to be too preoccupied to pay attention to them. His voice waves a bit as he continues, "Nothing you say or do is gonna stop me from saving my family. I am willing to do whatever it takes to get them out safely. So don't' you dare try and stop me," Scotty says firmly and menacingly, regaining a grip on his voice.

"If I can't stop you, I'm going to the next best thing,"Nick says, taking his gun out its holster and checking the magazine.

"What are you doing?" Scotty says, glancing back at him, then returning his attention to the back door.

"What? Do you think I'm going to shot you?" Nick says sarcastically. "Not that this isn't the perfect opportunity, since I have thought about it before, when you annoy the crap out of me. I'm coming with you, you idiot. Lilly and Kat are my family too."

Scotty doesn't have any time to process what Nick just said because as soon as Nick finishes his sentence, the officer on the back door, looks around before heading to the front of the building. Seizing the opportunity, Nick and Scotty make a run for the back door, and slip inside, without anyone noticing them.

_** Anyone noticed how Scotty keeps "slipping" and calling Lilly his "wife"? Not entirely accidental... :D *****_


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter Thirteen- Lilly**

"It's okay, sweetie. Don't think about the pain. Lilly... Lilly concentrate on me," Kat whispers, as Lilly clenches Kat's right hand. Kat clasps her left hand over their clenched hands, as she attempts to make eye contact with Lilly. "Lilly... come on. You can do this. Deep breaths... breathe through the pain."

The contraction only lasts a few minutes, but it feels like forever, to both Kat and Lilly. Once the pain starts to subsided and Lilly loosens her grip on Kat's hand, Kat looks over to the timer she had running on Lilly's phone, to time the contractions. Kat realizes, from her own childbirth experience, the number isn't good. Her contractions are getting dangerously close together. Lilly was nearly borderline on the final stage of labor. Kat knew she had to do something fast. They were running out of time. Suddenly a thought occurred to her. It was risky but at this point neither one of them had much of a choice. She waited until the next contraction passed to tell Lilly the plan. Once her breathing seemed to return to normal, Kat whispered to Lilly, "I'm going to try and talk to him."

"What? No! Are you crazy?" Lilly whispers back, panicking a bit.

"Lilly we have not choice. Your labor is intensifying, we need to get you out of here."

"The SWAT team outside…, Lilly begins to say.

"Might not make it in time. You might not have that kind of time." Kat pauses then says, " You'll be okay. I promise. You can do this," she says trying to reassure her.

In the back of her mind, Lilly knows Kat is trying to help and do what's best in the situation, but she cannot help but panic and think of the worst-case scenario. Lilly thought she was at least mildly ready for childbirth, but she had prepared for a completely different scenario. She wasn't anywhere near prepared for anything like this. But panicking wasn't going to help or change anything, so she did her best to appear calm and reassured. Kat gave her hand a final squeeze before slowly standing up. Just as Kat stands up to face the gunman, Lilly notices her screen blinking and lighting up. The screen reads:

**New Text Message**

**From Scotty**

_I'm coming._

_Tell Lilly I love her and I said "hey"_

_S._

Although they're only words on an electronic screen, they give her a small sense of comfort, knowing that he still remembers their code. Her relief is short lived though as the gunman immediately turned his attention and his gun on Kat and demanded, "I told you to stay in the corner!"

"It's okay," Kat, says raising her arms in surrender. "I'm not going to move, I'm going to stay right here. I just want to talk. Is that okay?"

"Sure. I don't care," the gunman says nonchalantly. "You try anything and I'll shot her," he says pointing the gun at Lilly.

"It's okay. You don't have to do that. I'm not going anywhere," Kat says, trying to remain calm. She pauses then asks, "Can you tell me your name?"

"Call my Lloyd." He says.

"Okay Lloyd. I know we all just want to get out of here. You wanna tell me why you're here?"

"I want to know what she told you," the gunman says gesturing to the woman at the table who continues to sob.

"I'm going to be honest with you Lloyd, she didn't tell us anything."

"You're a liar. You're a liar just like she is!" Lloyd says raising his voice and the gun. He adjust his finger on the trigger of the gun.

"I swear, I'm telling the truth. Lloyd, you're threatening my best friend and partner. Do you think I'd lie to you?" Kat says trying to calm him down. "We literally just came into the room. She hasn't even told us her name."

Lloyd looks skeptical and doubtful for a moment but after observing Kat for a moment and realizing, she's telling the truth, he relaxes his grip on the gun and shifts his aim to the space on the floor next to Lilly. Kat lets out a small quiet sigh of relief, just as Lilly lets out a barley audible whimper of pain.

"What's the matter with her?" Lloyd says gesturing to Lilly, who clutching her stomach, trying to relax and breathe through the pain.

"You need to help us out here Lloyd," Kat says trying to ease her way into his confidence. "I told you what you wanted to know. Now you need to do something for us?"

"Yeah? Like what?" Lloyd says edgily.

"You need to let her and Detective Rush go."

"And why would I do that?"

"Because it'll buy you some time. Plus Detective Rush is in labor."

"Labor? You mean she's having a baby? And what do you mean buy me some time?"

"Yes she's having a baby," Kat say fighting the urge to smack this stupid man. "She needs to go to a hospital. If you release them, it'll buy you some time with the SWAT team. They're gathered outside, armed and getting ready to break in here. You releasing hostages will throw them off. It might buy you an hour at most."

Lloyd looks like he's considering the idea momentarily but suddenly his face clouds. He tightens his grip on the gun and shouts, "No one leaves! Understand? No One Leaves!"


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14- Scotty**

Scotty opens the stairwell door to the third floor, gun in hand, stepping out to the right side of the doorway, scanning the hallway. Nick repeats Scotty's actions, stepping out to the left of the doorway, scanning the opposite end of the hallway. Once they're both sure the hallway is clear, they both lower their weapons. But just to be sure, Scotty signals to Nick. They should scan and clear the entire floor, just to be safe. Once the entire floor is cleared, they return to the bullpen. Scotty barley stops as he rushes towards the boss's office, with Nick at his heels.

"What are you doing?" Nick asks as Scotty rummages through the boss's file cabinet.

"Hold on. I'm looking for something," Scotty says mindlessly, letting papers scatter to the floor. He slams the cabinet shut and moves on to the next one, on and on, until he reaches the bottom cabinet. A minute later, he pulls out a folded, rolled up blueprint out of the drawer. He rushes over to the desk where he proceeds to spread out the blueprint. He studies it momentarily before running out of the office. Nick catches up with Scotty in the hallway, where he finds Scotty unscrewing the screws on the cover of an air vent. Once he removes the vent cover, he tosses it aside next to the screws. He examines the vent opening before removing his bulletproof vest and tossing it next to the vent cover.

"What are you doing?" Nick hisses as Scotty fits an earpiece into his ear.

"Going in. Through the vents. They're big enough so I can physically fit through, plus the vent spaces are large enough for a gun barrel so I can shoot through." Scotty pauses to test his earpiece, then hands the other earpiece to Nick.

"I won't be able to talk once I'm in the vent, so ask yes or no questions. One click means yes, two means no. Got it?"

"Yeah. So you're just going to go in through the vents and shot the guy?"

" I'm not just gonna go in and put a whole bunch of holes in him, as much as I'd like to. I'm just gonna shoot his right hand so he won't be able to hold the gun, much less shoot. Call the SWAT team. Let them know where I am and what I'm going to do. I shoot his hand, they break in and arrest him."

Nick doesn't know what to say as he watches Scotty check the magazine in his gun for bullets. He clicks the magazine back in the gun and takes a deep breath. Just as he's about to crawl into the air vent, Nick says, "Scotty?"

"What?" Scotty responds a bit impatiently.

"Be careful. I'm not raising your kid," Nick says trying to lighten the dense mood, knowing in the back of his mind that he might be allowing Scotty to do the stupidest thing in his life yet.

"Don't worry. I'm not planning on going anywhere," Scotty says, just before he crawls into the vent and slowly disappears from sight.


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter Fifteen**

As Scotty creeps through the vents, he follows the sound of voices and Nick's directions through the earpiece. As he approaches the vents that lead to Room 3, he begins to distinguish one of the voices from the rest. There are three voices, two female and one male. One of the female voices belongs to Kat Miller. Her voice and tone sound relatively normal, or as normal as she could sound, under the circumstances, which helps him to relax a bit. He can't hear Lilly's voice, which he chooses to interpret as a good sign. He tries his best to calm down as he makes his way through the vents. He finally reaches the vents to Room 3. Fortunately, the vent spaces are fairly large, as he predicted. Large enough to put a gun barrel through and fire a shot. Unfortunately, the vent spaces are also large enough to see and hear through fairly well. He can feel his pressure begin to rise, panic beginning to build up inside him as he watches the scene unfold, right below him. There's a woman sitting at the table, facing the door, sobbing inconsolably. The gunman and Kat are just about in the middle of room. The gunman is clearly upset and waving a gun, while Kat attempts to calm him down, while keeping her hands in the air, and remaining a distance away, as the gunman demands. Lilly is clearly in the middle of a contraction. She grimaces and grips her nails into the palm of her hand, as a few tears escape her eyes. He can feel his anger elevate as he watches her struggle. Alone. The guilt starts to creep back around, trying to invade his thoughts, but he forces it away. He takes a quiet, slow deep breath as he positions his gun through the vent. Then he waits. Waits for the opportunity. Kat is slowly easing the gunman backwards. The gunman yells for her to stay back, but doesn't shoot as she advances towards him. Just then, Nick radios in "SWAT team is positioned outside the door. Do you have a shot?"

He's about to click twice, for no, but then it happens. Just a little further and there it is. The opportunity he was waiting for.

He clicks once. The gunman stops. The perfect angle for the perfect shot. He steadies his hand, takes a deep breath, as he places his finger on the trigger and fires the shot.


	16. Chapter 16

**** Thanks for all the great reviews! :D Just to ease some anxieties…... I haven't quite mastered the art of tragedies yet, so, no worries. I found an amazing song I thought would be perfect for this chapter, and the lyrics are in italics and centered throughout the chapter. The lyrics might or might not be significant to Lilly and Scotty's future; I'll let you figure that out ; ) Or you can stay tuned for next chapter! If anyone's intrested in looking up this song on YouTube its called "Storm" by Lifehouse. Anyways, read, review, and enjoy! 3****

**Chapter Sixteen- Lilly**

"_Storm" by Lifehouse_

_How long have I been in this storm?_

_So overwhelmed by the ocean's shapeless form_

_Water's getting harder to tread_

_With these waves crashing over my head_

Everything happened so fast. In the blink of an eye. A shot rings out somewhere above her. Kat and the woman at the table both duck. The gunman doesn't react fast enough. The shot hits his right hand. The gunman clutches his hand and lets out a string of profanities. But before the gunman can react, the SWAT team bursts into the room, breaking down the door. The team, fully armed and ready, divides into groups once they're inside. Three rush to apprehend the gunman, while one escorts the woman out of the room. One breaks towards Kat, who at first opportunity, rushed back to Lilly's side. Lilly feels like she's in a daze, as if she's watching a movie. Everything and everyone seems to be rushing past her. She hears someone yell for a medic. Seconds later, a group of paramedics materializes around her. In no time at all she's loaded onto a stretcher. As she's being wheeled out of the room, her eyes frantically scan the blur of people around her for Scotty. Her mind is swirling with all kinds of thoughts. Where on earth could he be? He promised he was on his way, he promised he'd be here.

_If I could just see you_

_Everything would be all right_

_If I'd see you_

_This darkness would turn to light_

Kat materializes beside her, and holds her hand as the paramedic continues to wheel her away.

"Scotty?" she asks anxiously, turning to Kat.

"He'll be here. Don't worry, he'll be here," Kat says, trying to reassure her. Suddenly Lilly notices a familiar figure fighting his way through the crowd of people. Scotty. But when he's only inches away from her, suddenly someone yells "No!"

_And I will walk on water_

_And you will catch me if I fall_

_And I will get lost into your eyes_

_I know everything will be alright_

_I know everything is alright_

The woman somehow escaped from the officer who was questioning her, snatching the officer's gun from her holster. Before anyone can stop her, the woman raises the gun, aims it a Lloyd and fires a shot. Someone tackles Lloyd to the floor as another person tackles and disarms the woman. The bullet misses Lloyd and unexpectedly hits Scotty.

_I know you didn't bring me out here to drown_

_So why am I ten feet under and upside down?_

_Barely surviving has become my purpose_

_Cause I'm so used to living underneath the surface_

Lilly screams as Scotty crumples to the floor, in response to the impact of the shot. Almost immediately, a group of paramedics appears and surrounds Scotty on the floor, blocking her view. Paramedics attempt to continue to wheel her away but she screams and claws them away. Her sobs diminish once she notices someone pushing their way through the paramedics surrounding Scotty. But it is Scotty.

_If I could just see you_

_Everything would be all right_

_If I'd see you_

_This darkness would turn to light_

He's hurt, bleeding from the wound in his chest, but he grabs a pile of nearby gauze and stumbles towards her. He winces with each step he takes but somehow, manages to reach her side. He clutches her hand, and she squeezes it back as she feels another contraction coming on. One of the paramedics says, "She really needs to get to the hospital. We need to get moving."

_And I will walk on water_

_And you will catch me if I fall_

_And I will get lost into your eyes_

_And I know everything will be alright_

_And I will walk on water_

_And you will catch me if I fall_

_And I will get lost into your eyes_

_I know everything will be alright_

_I know everything is alright_

They begin to wheel Lilly towards the elevator but just as they are inches away from the elevator doors, she suddenly notices the grip of Scotty's hand on hers, abruptly loosens as he collapses to the floor. But this time he doesn't move. Blood gushes from his gunshot wound as the paramedics continue to wheel Lilly into the elevator, despite her sobs. Kat rushes into the elevator behind them and helps the paramedics restrain Lilly, so they can take her downstairs to the awaiting ambulance. The last thing she sees before the elevator doors close is Scotty, lying on the floor in a pool of his own blood, pale, unconscious, and unresponsive.

_Everything's alright_

_Yeah…._

_Everything's alright_


	17. Chapter 17

Note: The italics are Scotty's flashback and Alexia is Lilly's niece.

**Chapter Seventeen- It All Began with One Night**

One minute he was walking alongside Lilly, holding her hand, as she was being wheeled to the elevator and the next he was lying on the floor. He tries to fight it, fading away, but eventually he has to give in. Faces and lights around him become a blur as he sinks into a tunnel of darkness. In that moment, his mind recollects, back to when it all began with Lilly.

(Flashback)

_He walks up to Lilly's front door and forces himself to knock before he can lose his nerve. It's nearly midnight and he probably shouldn't be here, but he is. He couldn't sleep and he had a feeling she couldn't either. It turns out he was right. She opens the door, about five minutes later, holding her fussy niece in her arms. She looked like she hadn't slept in days, which was probably true, given the situation with her sister. She was wearing a loose pair of gray sweatpants, with a blue tank top. Her hair is loose and disheveled and she looks downright exhausted. She clearly didn't expect to see him on her doorstep, or so he interpreted from the look on her face._

_"Scotty? What are you doing here?"_

_"Couldn't sleep. Figured you might need some help. I brought some stuff... I figured you might need." He pauses before adding hesitantly, "Can I come in?"_

_"Of course. Uh, it's a little messy," Lilly says stepping aside to let him in. She closes the door behind him. As he sets the bags down on her kitchen counter, she tries to soothe the baby while tidying up the living room. Scotty turns around and says jokingly, "Wow, it looks like a tornado ripped through here."_

"_Well, Alexia is pretty demanding, so I've sort of neglected everything else for the past few days. She's a full time job," Lilly says transitioning Alexia from her right arm to her left. She stretches her right arm, as Scotty says," Here let me take her." _

_He walks towards Lilly and Alexia, his hands outstretched towards the baby. Alexia stops fussing long enough to take a brief glance at Scotty and clutch onto Lilly a little tighter. After a bit of coaxing Alexia reluctantly loosens her grip on Lilly, as she's handed over to Scotty. Alexia is quiet for a moment before she starts whimpering and reaching for Lilly, who has resumed the task of tidying up the living room. Scotty walks over to the kitchen counter, where he placed the bags he'd brought. He rummages in one of the bags before pulling out a small purple and cream stuffed rabbit, which he introduces to Alexia. Alexia quiets down momentarily as she eyes the toy. Seconds later, she reaches for the rabbit, and puts part of the rabbit's ear in her mouth. She seems to like it, or so he assumes, since she continues to suck on the rabbit's ear as both he and Lilly break out into laughter. Alexia eyes them curiously before hesitantly cradling her head in the crook between Scotty's shoulder and neck._

"_I've been trying to get her to stop fussing for hours. I've tried and everything and nothing's worked. What kind of trick was that?"_

"_It wasn't a trick. Sometimes a kid just needs something soft to hold onto, or in her case, chew." Scotty says nonchalantly._

"_How do you know all this? You don't have any illegitimate kids I don't know about, do you?"_

"_Nah, not that I know of. But I do have nieces and nephews. This kind of stuff sticks from, you know, from my sister in law, my brother, my parents. Never thought it would ever come in handy, but I guess you never know."_

_They proceed to empty the contents of the bags over her kitchen counter. There are several baby bottles in a variety of sizes, diapers, a couple sets of clothes, several baby bath and care products, a couple toys, powdered formula, a baby bag, and an enormous pack of baby wipes._

"_Wow," Lilly says looking over all the things spread on the counter. "Did you buy all of this?" Lilly says, not quite believing her eyes._

"_Mostly. I had some help from my sister in law. I figured, your sister kind of sprung this on you, and you weren't ready for a baby so I thought I'd help." He pauses and turns around slowly as he asks, "Is she asleep?"_

_Lilly smiles and nods as she watches her niece shift a bit, nestling in closer into Scotty's shoulder. She's fast asleep, barley clutching onto her new favorite rabbit._

"_I haven't had time to get a crib, but I have a playpen set up as a bed, in my bedroom," Lilly whispers to Scotty, before motioning for him to follow her. In the corner of her bedroom, a few feet away from her bed is a mid sized playpen, set up with a folded fluff comforter as a mattress. Lilly flickers on the table lamp on her nightstand as Scotty slowly, and gently lowers Alexia into the playpen. Alexia shifts a bit, turning on her side and tightening her grip on the rabbit again. Scotty covers Alexia with a baby blanket as Lilly turns off the light._

_ Back in the living room, Lilly returns to straightening out the living room, before she notices Scotty unpacking yet another bag. It's Chinese food. Suddenly she realizes she's starving. As she walks into the kitchen, Scotty turns towards her with a carton of rice and says, "Are you hungry?" He hands her the carton as he says, "I figured you also neglected a couple meals in the past few days, so I brought dinner."_

"_I've had the hardest time, trying to get her to sleep, trying to get her to stop fussing. How did you do it?" Lilly asks, in between bites of food. _

"_I don't know. She just quieted down and fell asleep."_

_They eat in silence for a few minutes before Lilly says, "I have a feeling you didn't just come over here to help me out."_

"_What? I can't be a nice guy and a decent partner? Is that so hard to believe?" he says sarcastically._

"_I'm not doubting your intentions, but I do think there is an ulterior motive to your help and your visit."_

"_Is there? So why do you think I came? Why am I here?"_

"_The beach. Scotty, I… I don't know what to say."_

"_Yes you do. We both know what you want to say. At least, I hope you want to say… that you'll give me a chance. That you'll give us a chance."_

"_Scotty I…"_

"_You can't say you haven't felt it. You can't deny it Lil'. We have something special. We can't just throw it away. I meant what I said before. I love you. I'm willing to give this… to give us a chance."_

_Somewhere in between his speech, Lilly had set her carton of food down on the counter, and stopped eating. For a few moments, she doesn't say anything. He notices a struggle of emotions in her face as she blinks back tears. He reaches for her hand across the kitchen counter but she pulls back abruptly, like she's been stung. He can see her beginning to close herself off, from her feelings, from him. It's her defense tactic, her response to anything potentially hurtful or harmful. But over the years, she's lost her ability to block out the world as well as she used to. When she finally speaks, she says tearfully "I'm sorry Scotty. I can't. It's too much. Alexia and... our job..." Lilly says, drifting off, as she avoids his gaze, walking away, back towards the living room._

_"Come on Lil'. Those aren't even close to decent excuses and you know it." Scotty says, following her to the living room._

_"They're not excuses. It's the truth."_

_"No, the truth is you're either afraid and in denial, or you don't feel the same way I do, which I don't believe."_

_"How do you know what I'm think or feeling?" Lilly says a bit bitterly._

_"Because I know you. I know your ice queen routine. I know you love your job. You work cold cases because you believe in them. You believe in the general goodness of people, despite the type of work we do. You have a passion for helping people. You're driven by the pursuit for justice and truth. You still have hopes and dreams, after everything you've been through. I know you're afraid. I know people have hurt you in your past and I know that I was one of them. I know that I'm stupid, immature, reckless, and stubborn. I know that you deserve so much better but... I love you. I understand you don't trust me and you're scared and I understand. And I'm willing to wait or go as slow as you'd like. Just say the word and I'll do whatever, be whatever you need me to be."_

_As he finishes speaking, he can see the anger drain from her, replaced by tears in her eyes._

_"It's not that simple, Scotty. It's... it's just not that simple."_

"_I know... I know this is hard for you. But you can't give up on something just because it's difficult. Everything good in life requires effort. I believe that you're worth it and in time we can work this out." Scotty finishes, advancing towards her, closing the distance between them. Suddenly he's barley inches away from her. She draws in a sharp intake of breath but before she can react, his lips are on hers, his hands caressing her hair, her face, her neck. Suddenly, she's kissing him back, enthusiastically, despite the lingering hesitance in the back of her mind, which she quickly disposes of, as the moment intensifies. Unfortunately, also at that very moment, they hear a cry coming from Lilly's bedroom. Hesitantly, they pull apart. Scotty heads for the bedroom, as Lilly straightens out her mildly disheveled clothing, and follows closely behind. Scotty scoops Alexia up from the playpen and into his arms. She fusses a bit but eventually settles down, hiding her head in his shoulder. Lilly turns on the table lamp on her nightstand and disappears into the other room. She returns just as Scotty is putting Alexia back down in the playpen. Although she's fast asleep, Alexia turns her head to the other side and snuggles it against her pillow as her hand searches for the stuffed rabbit. Once she finds it, she curls up and takes a deep sigh as she settles into a deep sleep. Lilly smiles and gently nudges a pacifier into Alexia's mouth, which Alexia begins to suck almost immediately._

"_I forgot she can't sleep without her pacifier," Lilly says quietly to Scotty, as she tucks a blanket over Alexia and kisses her goodnight. They leave the room quietly and return in silence to the living room._

"_So…" Scotty says. "What now?"_

"_You kissed me." Lilly says very matter a factly. _

"_And you kissed me back._

_She sighs and turns around walking away from him. Running her hand through her hair, she turns back around and sits on the edge of the couch. Finally, she says, "Fine. We'll give this a chance."_

_Before Scotty can say or do anything, she holds up her hand and says, "This doesn't mean anything yet. I can't trust myself with you and I have to work on some things before we can become more than platonic friends and colleagues."  
"You don't trust me?"_

"_Of course I trust you. I said I don't trust myself with you."_

"_We'll take it slow" Scotty says walking towards her. He pulls her up from the couch and pulls her into an embrace, which she gradually sinks into, breathing in his familiar, comforting scent. _(Flashback)

Suddenly, the images begin to cut up and he begins to see only fast clips of his evolving relationship with Lilly.

_The first time he brought an overnight bag to her place, once they realized Alexia went to sleep much faster when Scotty put her down._

_Their first date and the Italian restaurant they went to._

_When they can clean with the boss about their new relationship._

_Scotty giving up the lease on his apartment._

_Lilly announcing her pregnancy._

_Looking for houses with Alexia._

_The aquamarine necklace her brought her for their one-year anniversary._

_Shopping for a baby crib._

_Putting together the baby's room._

_Receiving the text message that she was being held hostage and in labor._

_Rushing to her side as she laid on the stretcher._

_Gunshots._

_Her screams as she was wheeled away into the elevator. _

Then everything stops and all that's left is a surrounding darkness.


	18. Chapter 18

_Once again, deepest apologies for the delays. I'm such a perfectionist and I really wanted to get this chapter right. Thank you in advanced for all the great reviews! :D Standard disclaimer always applies. Anyways, read, review, and enjoy!_

**Chapter Eighteen- Beginnings**

Before this happened. Before Scotty, Cristina, Alexia, she thought she was happy. Not extraordinarily happy, but for the most part she was content. She had her health, her career, a relatively decent social life, occasional boyfriends. She never knew she needed more. She never knew she wanted more. Or maybe, somewhere deep inside her she had always wanted more, needed more, but she had been afraid to admit it. Just when she thought, she was close to extraordinarily happy, it all fell apart. This wasn't supposed to happen. Before this, she thought she was adaptable. Now she wasn't so sure. She wasn't sure of anything anymore, expect that she was in intense labor and everything was going wrong. She hadn't stopped crying since they left the station. The paramedics loosened her restraints, once they realized she was directing most of her strength to crying hysterically and the contractions, which kept getting increasingly stronger and closer together. Kat sat beside her, holding her hand, brushing aside locks of her tear-soaked hair out of her face, and speaking to her, attempting to calm her down. Lilly can't concentrate on the words Kat is saying. She's lost control over her own body and emotions. She couldn't stop crying, screaming, and panicking. She knew what to do, she had taken classes, but this was all wrong. Everything had gotten so complicated. Scotty was supposed to be here. She should be at their registered birth center. She and Scotty... they had plans. But nothing was going right. This wasn't supposed to happen.

Just when she thought things couldn't possibly get any worse, she notices the paramedic searching for something frantically. He and Kat whisper to each other, then look back at her. Her tears and screams quiet and she goes into a mildly dazed state. Before she can ask anything, Kat returns back to her side and grips her hand tightly as she says, "Lilly, you have to be strong. We're about ten minutes away from the hospital but you're not going to make it. Paramedic says you're fully dilated and you need to start pushing now."

"What? No. No I can't" Lilly says protesting.

"Sweetie I'm sorry we don't have a choice. The longer we wait the greater the risk of complications for both you and the baby."

She was still a bit dazed and although the tears had subsided a bit, they began to resurface again as she heard Kat's words in the distance. She watched the paramedic prepare several medical instruments and move away from her side to the opposite end of the stretcher. As Kat helps her sit up on the stretcher and positions herself to prop her up, the reality of the situation begins to sink in further and she begins to panic.

"No. No... No, I can't. I can't have this baby here. It's not..." She pauses as another contraction hits. Once it begins to pass she continues, "...not the right time, or place. Scotty isn't here…" She pauses again for another contraction, then says, her voice rising as she panics. "He's not going to make it..." She pauses for another contraction and begins to hyperventilate a bit as her panicked thoughts drift to Scotty. "He's not here... he's not going to make it. He's going to die. I can't... I can't do this alone. Kat, I can't. I can't..." Lilly says, stopping for another intense contraction.

Kat waits until the contraction passes before saying firmly, "Stop. You can't talk like that. You are not alone and you can do this. You are strong and I know you can do this. You need to pull yourself together, for your own sake, and especially your baby's sake. You need to think about what's best for your baby. Your child."

"Scotty..."

"Is not going anywhere. Lilly, he's been shot before, at least half a dozen times and he's always survived. Never affected him much before. Besides, do you really think one bullet could kill that man?" Kat says, trying to lighten the dense situation. "He has everything to live for. You, Alexia, the baby. He's a fighter. He's going to make it."

Lilly calms down a bit, as Kat's words begin to get through to her. But before either one of them can say anything, Lilly winces and begins to scream as the final contractions begin.

"Okay, this is it," the paramedic says, helping Lilly prop her legs up on the stretcher. "Okay, its time to push."

"Come on, Lilly! You can do this," Kat says encouragingly offering her hand for support.

Lilly grips Kat's hand tightly and lets out a cry as she pushes with all her remaining strength, which isn't much since she's drained much of her strength on screaming for Scotty, and fighting off anyone who tried to keep her away from him.

"You're doing great," Kat says encouragingly, as Lilly gasps for breath and strength.

"Almost there. The head's crowing. I can see the head," The paramedic says reaching for a nearby blanket. "One more. Just one big push. You're almost there."

Lilly glances at Kat, who reassures her and says," One more Lilly. Come on you can do this!"

Lilly nods and concentrates all her strength on pushing. For her baby's sake. For Scotty. After a lot of screaming and crying, Lilly lets out a desperate gasp for air as the paramedic finally says, "Congratulations! You're a mother." He cleans the baby as best as he can, and wraps it in a fresh blanket as he hands it to Lilly, who immediately cradles her baby in her arms. She strokes her baby affectionately as his screams diminish and he blinks, his eyes adjusting to the light. He's the most beautiful baby boy. When she looks into his tiny eyes, all she sees Scotty looking back at her.


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter Nineteen-Scotty**

Life. It was such a valuable gift, most didn't realize exactly how valuable until they nearly lost it. Scotty Valens was certainly no exception.

He awoke in a dimly lit room to the sound of machines and the beeping of a heart monitor he was hooked up to. Still groggy from the surgery, he blinked a few times to give his eyes a moment to adjust to the room. He shifts in bed a bit, as he tries to remember why he's there, but as he tries to sit up, a dull pain in his chest begins to intensify until he's forced to lie back down again. Just as his eyes had taken a moment to adjust to the light, or lack thereof, in the room, so had his memory. Less than a second later, he remembers everything.

Hostages.

A gunman.

Lilly in labor.

Lilly?

He bolts up in bed, or he tries to, but the sharp sudden pain from his chest forces him to lie back down again. His sudden movements startle someone he hadn't noticed in the room, sitting in the armchair by the window. As the person sits up, Scotty notices it's the boss.

"Hey. You're awake. How are you feeling?" Stillman asks, sitting up in the armchair.

"Just a gunshot wound. I'm fine."

Before Stillman can respond, there's a brief, quick knock on the door as two people enter the room. A doctor, followed by Will, who's holding two cups of coffee. Will walks over to the boss and hands him a cup of coffee, as the doctor scans through Scotty's medical chart.

"Good to see you're awake. How are you feeling?" The doctor asks as he scribbles on the medical chart.

"Fine."

"No pain of any kind? Discomfort?" The doctor asks, as he pauses his scribbling and looks up at Scotty.

"Nothing out of the ordinary for a gunshot wound."

"Well, then," the doctor says closing the chart. "Since you did have surgery, we will have to keep you here, under observation, for a few nights. But if everything goes well, you should be out of here in about a week."

"What? No, I can't stay here for a week! Lilly's in labor. She should be in a hospital... Where is she?"

Before the doctor can respond, the boss stands up and says to the doctor, "Can I talk to you outside for a moment?"

The doctor nods as Stillman gets up and they both quietly exit the room, closing the door behind them. No sooner than the door closes, Scotty turns to Will and resumes his distraught panicked rant "They won't keep me here. They can't keep me here. Lilly…"

"Is perfectly fine, Scotty." Will responds cutting him off before he can aggravate himself any further.

"How can she be fine? She was in labor, when I got shot. She must be furious at me. I promised I'd be there… Promised I wouldn't leave her."

"It's not like you were absent on purpose. You were shot, Scotty. Shot trying to protect her and your unborn child." Will says.

"Still… Where is she? Are you sure she's okay?"

"She's fine. She's on the fourth floor, in the maternity ward. Last time I check both her and the baby were doing fine."

Before either one of them can say anything, the doctor and Stillman walk back into the room.

"We've worked out a plan," Stillman says.

"Yes." The doctor says turning to Scotty. "I'm afraid I can't shorten your stay, due to hospital policy and for your own well-being. However, your boss here just explain the circumstances and I can allow you to visit your girlfriend and child in the maternity ward for a couple hours, as long as you promise to not make any strenuous movements, which for the time being include holding your baby for an extended period of time, at least for the next two weeks. Understood?"

"Understood." Scotty says attempting to contain the grin on his face.

"As soon as the wheelchair comes, you're free to go see your girlfriend. And congratulations on your…" The doctor begins to say, but he's quickly silenced by a glare from Stillman. "Baby." The doctor finishes with a chuckle, as he turns and leaves the room.

During the elevator ride upstairs to Lilly's room, Scotty goes over and over in his mind what he's going to say. Although both Will and the boss assure him that Lilly is not at all upset at him for missing the birth of their baby, he's upset and mad, at himself for failing her when she needed him the most, especially after he promised to be there for her. No matter how hard he tries, he can't come up with an apology to express his deepest regrets for letting her down. Her room is only a few doors down from the elevator, so they arrive fairly quickly. Stillman knock quietly as he opens the door and Will wheels Scotty into the room. Kat is sitting in a chair a few feet away from Lilly's bedside and Nick is half asleep in a chair by the window. Kat signals for them to enter the room quietly, since Lilly is sleeping. She looks drained, exhausted, and slightly pale, although she doesn't look the worst for wear, especially considering what she's been through in the past few hours, which is a slight relief for Scotty. Will wheels Scotty next to Lilly's bedside. Stillman clears his throat and moves towards the door, motioning for Will and Kat to follow him out. Will and Stillman leave the room first, followed in close proximity by Kat, but not before she stops to nudge Nick awake and motion for him to follow them out of the room, which he does, groggily and slightly reluctantly.

Everyone leaves, leaving Lilly and Scotty in the room alone, much to Scotty's relief. No sooner than he hears the click of the door, then tears begin to water and overflow in his eyes. He clasps Lilly's hand tightly as tears fall from his eyes and for a single moment he doesn't say or do anything. For a moment he's content to be alive and by her side.


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20****- Scotty's P.O.V. (continued)**

Silence only lasts so long, and although he still can't find the right words to express his regret, he decides to give it a shot anyhow. He owes her at least that much. He takes a deep breath and tries to make his voice come out steadily, but he doesn't get past the first word when he feels a lump beginning to form in his throat and the emotions come pouring out.

"You'll never know how sorry I am, Lil. I'll never forgive myself for this. For leaving you alone…" Scotty laments softly. Tears fall from his eyes and splash onto her hand, as he kisses it repeatedly, mumbling regrets and apologies. He's so preoccupied, he doesn't notice her eyelids fluttering, at least not until she grips his hand weakly.

"Scotty," She mumbles drowsily, as he looks up from her hand.

"I'm here, Lil. How are you doing?" He says, trying to hide his tears.

"You're the one who got shot and you're asking me how I'm doing? I'm fine. Just tired. How about you? I thought you'd be confined to bed rest, given the severity of the gunshot wound."

Scotty shrugs as he says, "It wasn't that bad. Just a flesh wound. I'll be fine."

She gives him a look of suspicion, as she says, "Don't lie to me Valens."

Although he's hesitant to tell her the details of his injuries, mostly because he knows she will worry, he also knows that she won't let up on the subject until he tells her everything. So he takes a deep breath and says, "Surgery. To remove the bullet and prevent it from puncturing the lungs or other organs."

For a minute, she doesn't respond. He doesn't know what to say, so he simply traces tiny soft circles over the back of her hand. Finally, she says, "This is all my fault. I should have listened to you and Stillman. I shouldn't have been in the office. You warned me and I…"

"Stop. This wasn't your fault. If anything, I'm the one who's to blame. I should have been there. Protecting you and our child. I'm the one who put you in harm's way. If I had been there, like I was supposed to, you wouldn't have had to go into that interrogation room."

"I don't blame you, Scotty. You saved us. If you hadn't come in, we might not have made it out of there alive."

"I broke my promise to you. I promised I would be there for you and the baby."

"You were. You got us out of there safely."

"I got myself shot."

"There was no way you could have known the woman was going to steal the officer's gun and try to shoot the gunman. No one knew."

"I guess you're right. I'm still sorry though. Sorry I wasn't there for you."

"You're here now. That's all that matters." She says, clasping her hand over his and squeezing it tightly. They are both silent for a moment, until he asks, "How's the baby?"

"A nurse just took him away to do a quick examination. He should be back any second."

"Him?" Scotty says, trying to mask his excitement.

"It's a boy. He's beautiful. He looks just like his father." Lilly says, smiling at his attempt to hide his obvious excitement.

Before either one of them can say anything else, there's a quick knock on the door and a nurse enters the room, holding a tiny blue bundle in her arms.

"Is that...?" Scotty says to Lilly, a bit in awe.

"Our son," Lilly says, still smiling.

"Daddy, I presume," the nurse says to Scotty, who nods in a bit of a daze. "Would you like to hold him?" The nurse says gesturing to him.

"I…" Scotty says hesitantly.

"Just support the head", Lilly says encouragingly.

"Gunshot wound," he says.

"Opposite hand." The nurse says, "Your doctor sent up his notes and his approval. You can hold him for a few minutes."

"I… I might…" Scotty stammers nervously, but before he can finish, Lilly clasps both her hands over his. It seems all he needed was her reassuring touch. He nods and the nurse positions his hands before gently places the tiny blue bundle into his arms.

He'd had his share of exhilarating experiences, but nothing, by far, compared to the moment he first met and held his son. He never knew someone so small could captivate him so vividly, awakening feelings, he didn't even know he had, yet somewhere deep inside him, he did. This baby did this to him. This tiny human being in his arms. A baby. His baby. His son. It felt strange to think of him having a son, yet at the same time, it sounded so natural. Felt so right. The baby shifted a bit as Scotty adjusted his arm, as the dull ache began to return slowly. Lilly immediately noticed his discomfort and asked, almost instantly, "Are you okay?"

"Fine. Never been better." He says, a bit emotionally. He pauses then says softly, "He's beautiful, Lil."

"Looks just like his father," Lilly comments.

"I don't know. He seems to have a lot of your features. The hair, for example."

"Dark blond." Lilly says.

"The blond coming from you." Scotty remarks.

"Dark tint coming from you." Lilly says. She pauses for a moment before saying, "You know, I think it's more of a very light brown, than a dark blond."

Scotty doesn't answer but their eyes meet over their sleeping son for a moment. Before either one of them can react or say anything, the baby shifts in Scotty's arms, and the ache, which had begun to fade away, begins to intensify once again. Just as he was about to hand the baby to Lilly, the baby wriggles a hand out of the blanket and rubbed his face. As he extends his arms out, he let out a tiny cry and blinks his eyes open. He blinks a few times to adjust his eyes before focusing in on Scotty's face. That moment, it felt like the world had disappeared around him. Then he saw it. His son had his deep hazel eyes. He felt a smile spreading over his face as he watched his son, then turned to Lilly and said, "He has my eyes."

Before she can respond, the baby lets out another cry, this time slightly louder than the last one, as he wriggles and squirms in Scotty's arms. As Scotty reluctantly hands him to Lilly, she says, "He has your temper too. Impatient, just like his father."

The baby settles in Lilly's arms and falls asleep almost instantly. They watch him sleep, in silence, for a while. Scotty slips his hand into hers, just as she comments quietly, "We haven't picked out a name yet."

"Well... I wanted to name him after my brother." Scotty says slightly hesitantly.

"Michael."

"Yeah... But you know, now that I think about it, he doesn't look like a Michael." Scotty says observing his sleeping son.

"Michael is a good middle name. I kind of like the name 'Eric'." Lilly says, stroking her son's silky soft cheek.

"Eric Michael. I like it."

"But not the traditional 'Eric'. That's too plain. Eric with a 'C' and a 'K'."

"You mean E-R-I-C-K?"

"It has a nice ring to it, don't you think?" Lilly says without taking her adoring gaze off her son.

"Erick Michael Rush Valens." Scotty says slowly, allowing the name to soak in and settle. Before he can say anything, Lilly says, "I was actually thinking we'd stick with Valens."

For a moment, he doesn't say anything. Finally, he manages to speak and says, "Really?" He tries to normalize his voice to hide his surprise and excitement.

"He's our son. It only seems right that he carry his father's last name."

For a moment, Scotty relishes her words and that moment. But then a thought occurs to him and before he can stop himself, he says, "Are you doing this because I got shot?"

"What? No. No. Actually, I've been thinking about this for a while and... It just seems right."

She waits but he doesn't say anything. He averts his eyes from her at first, as he strokes his son's clenched fist. When he finally does look up, their eyes meet, and the look in his eyes conveys everything he's thinking and feeling. She doesn't need words to know that, the words she just said have made him the happiest man alive.

What she doesn't realize that the same look she just saw in his eyes, is reflected in her loving gaze. Someone once said that the eyes were the windows to a person's soul and innermost thoughts. This certainly seemed to be true for Lilly. Every time she looked at him, he knew. That she loved him with all her heart, and every moment she spent with him completed a happiness and love she didn't know she was ever capable of having.


	21. Starting Over

Soo sorry it took me so long to post this. Dammn power outages. I am soo behind on my writing, but working as fast as I can. Anyways read, review, and enjoy! ;)

**Chapter 21- Starting Over**

Three months later at a coffeehouse downtown

Lilly fidgets with her decaffeinated latte as Erick napped peacefully in the stroller beside her. As usual, Cristina was late. Some things never changed. Just as she was beginning to get impatient, the front door bell to the coffeehouse rang, and in walked Cristina.

At first, Lilly had been a bit skeptical when Cristina first called her, a couple days ago, wanting to meet up. She loved her sister but she also knew her very well. She was nearly certain her baby sister had gotten into some kind of trouble and needed to be bailed out. Again. But her suspicions were quickly dissolved once she spoke with the director of Cristina's rehab program and her sponsor, both of which informed her that Cristina was doing exceedingly well and had nearly completed the program. The words 'exceedingly well' hadn't been used to describe her sister since grade school, so Lilly was sure something had changed. And for once, it wasn't just her own blind belief in her sister. For once, there was concrete evidence of progress and change. So Lilly almost felt relieved when she saw her baby sister walk through the front door and rush over to her, sweeping her into a warm embrace. Cristina finally seemed to be on the right path, Lilly thought as she returned her sister's hug. Once they pulled apart, and as they sat down, Cristina said," I was afraid you wouldn't come."

"You said it was important. And… I spoke to your program director."

"You did?"

"He said you were doing great. Exceedingly well, in fact, and you showed a lot of potential."

"I'll be done with the program in a little more than a month, which is why I needed to talk to you." She pauses before asking cautiously, "Where's Alexia?"

"Day care. I dropped her off before coming here to meet you. She and Erick can be a hard to handle together, especially in public."

"You know I really appreciate everything you and Scotty done for me, especially taking care of Alexia."

"Scotty and I talked about it, and we agreed that you can stay with us until you get back on your feet. We brought a nice townhouse, a couple blocks from here. Three bedrooms, minus a guest room, three and a half bathrooms, spacious kitchen, den, living room, and a basement, with the guest room. Plenty of space."

"I don't know what to say."

"Say you'll move in."

"I really appreciate the offer and everything you guys have done for us… but I don't think I can stay."

"At our house?"

"No. In Pennsylvania. I need a fresh start."

"You don't have a job or any means of financial support. Where are you going to go? How are you going to get a fresh start without any money?"

"One of the counselors at the center has a cousin in Miami, who just open a new chain of dental offices, and needs a receptionist. The counselor recommended me and her cousin said I can have the job if I want it." Cristina finishes excitedly.

"That's great… but what about Alexia? She had friends, activities, a life here. She calls Scotty 'daddy' and he adores her. She's going to start school in the fall. You can't just uproot her to Miami."

"I know. Which is why I brought this," Cristina says pulling a manila folder out of the tote bag on her lap. Placing the folder on the table, she opens it and takes out a packet of papers, which she slides across the table to Lilly. Lilly immediately picks up the papers and begins to scan the first page. Towards the middle of the paper there are a series of blanks' labeled 'minor's name', 'biological mother', and 'biological father (if applicable)'. Her attention is drawn to the top of the pages, the title of the document, which she had initially ignored, but now when she looks at it, everything makes sense. The title reads "Termination of Parental Rights". As she flips through the packet, she notices another title on a page about halfway through the packet, which also catches her attention. "Petition for Adoption of a Minor". Penciled in under the adoptive parent's names, are hers and Scotty's. Under the minor's name, Alexia Elizabeth Rush is also penciled in. But before she can react or even begin to process anything, she hears a low whimper coming from the stroller. The whimper gets louder until it turns into an anxious cry. Erick's awake. Lilly turns to the stroller and unbuckles Erick before lifting him out, to hold him in her lap. His cries diminish into whimpers as he settles against her, holding her tightly. She pulls a ready-made bottle out of the baby bag beneath the stroller and nudges it into Erick's mouth. He happily quiets down as he begins to drink quietly. She continues to fuss with Erick to avoid continuing her conversation with Cristina. Erick suddenly notices Cristina sitting across the table and begins to observe her intently. He gets about halfway through the bottle before shaking his head and shoving the bottle away. Lilly caps the bottle and sets it on the table, as Erick reaches a hand across the table towards Cristina. Cristina extends her hand across the table, smiling at Erick, who gurgles happily in response.

"He's beautiful Lil," Cristina says, as she strokes Erick's finger and asks, "What's his name?"

"Erick. Erick Michael Valens."

"Scotty must be thrilled," Cristina comments before asking, "Can I hold him?"

Lilly glances warily from her sister's optimistic face and outstretched arms, to her son in her lap, gurgling and babbling happily. Reluctantly she hands Erick over to Cristina, then promptly reaches in the baby bag for a washcloth, without taking her eyes of her sister and Erick. She finds the washcloth, which she hands to Cristina, which she immediately uses to wipe the corner of Erick's mouth. After a few minutes of silence, Lilly says, "Cris…"

"I thought you'd be happy for me. You're the one who said Alexia shouldn't be uprooted, that she has a life here, with you and Scotty."

"I know but… this just seems… It feels like history repeating itself."

"What do you mean?"

"You've never been good at taking responsibility… and it kind of feels like you're taking the easy way out."

Cristina was fidgeting with Erick but suddenly, she looks up sharply and Lilly can tell she's hit a nerve. She fights the urge to snatch her son back into the safety of her arms. Then she notices something different in Cristina's gaze. Something besides anger. Regret. A hint of pain.

"You think this is easy for me?" Cristina says pausing before continuing. "This is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. I got pregnant and gave birth under the worst possible circumstances, but she is my flesh and blood and I love her more than life itself. Do you think it's easy to give up my baby? To know that despite the fact that I gave birth to her and I am her mother, she doesn't know who I am? She thinks you and Scotty are her parents and Erick is her baby brother. Lil, we never had a stable childhood and that's not what I want for her. As much as it hurts to have to give her up, I know that ultimately it's the best thing for both of us, especially Alexia. She needs a stable environment with two parents who love her and each other, and… I can't provide her with that. But you… you and Scotty, you can provide that for her. I know that if you give me your word, you'll do it. Give her the life we never had, the life she deserves. I know you've spent your life looking after me and you don't owe me anything. But I'm asking you. Not as a sister. As a mother. One last favor. For Alexia. Please."

Tears well in both of their eyes. Before Erick, she had never fully understood the depth of a mother's love. But now she did and she couldn't help but sympathize with Cristina. She swiped away a few tears from her eyes, but more reappeared in their place as she nods and says, "Okay. Okay I'll do it."

Cristina gets up and rushes over to her, with Erick still in her arms. As Lilly returns her sister's heartfelt embrace, she realizes this is the closest they've been in year, figuratively. The last time they communicated this honestly and were this close was when her sister was five and she was eight, when they were at the beach. And although she knows she's going to have a hard time explaining to Scotty that she just volunteered him to be Alexia's legal father, part of her know he won't mind, once she finishes explaining and the shock wears off.


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22**

That afternoon, she learned the art of waiting could be downright agonizing.

After her conversation with Cristina, she took the long route home, through the park. Erick fell asleep again, so she was, metaphorically, alone with her thoughts, which keep swirling in all directions in her head. She wasn't even sure why she was so worried. In her heart, she knew that Scotty loved, and was as attached to Alexia as she was, maybe even more. Alexia was his angel, the apple of his eye, even if he wasn't her biological father. From the moment he first held her, they were connected and she became his girl. Whenever she was upset, tired or even the slightest bit uncomfortable, Scotty was the only one she wanted to comfort her. She was 99.9% sure Scotty wouldn't object to taking responsibility as Alexia's legal parent, because he already had, despite the fact that there was nothing and no one obligating him to. But there was a .1% chance that he wouldn't react the way she expected him to. It was her cautionary side, complements of the former Lilly Rush that warned her against all certainty and reminded her that things could always change and go drastically wrong. It was the tenth of the percent that kept her in an uneasy anxiety throughout the early and mid afternoon hours.

Several times throughout the afternoon, she picked up the phone to just get it over with, to just call and tell him, because she just couldn't take the anxiety anymore. But every time, halfway through dialing his number, she'd hang up. This wasn't the kind of news you gave over the phone.

She turned to look at the clock. She still had two hours before she had to go pick up Alexia from daycare. Erick was napping. She didn't know what to do with herself. She had a couple case files on her desk that she managed to convince Kat to slip to her, but she couldn't possibly concentrate on work right now. Rather, she decided to channel the energy from her anxiety into cleaning. But the house wasn't all that disorganized to begin with, so that only occupied forty minutes of her time. Then, she thought she'd invest her time into changing into another outfit. She was wearing an old pair of capris, tank top, and flip-flops. Turning up the volume on the baby monitor, she took it with her into the bathroom while she took a quick shower. Afterwards, she proceeded to rummage in her closet for something to wear. She discarded several unsatisfactory outfits onto a nearby armchair, and finally settled on a pair of nice black jeans, sandals, and a turquoise off the shoulder top, she hardly ever wore. She blow-dried her hair and applied at bit of make-up. At last minute, she added a pendant necklace Scotty gave her for their anniversary. Now that she was satisfied with her appearance, she glanced at the clock again and was slightly disappointed to discover she'd only wasted twenty minutes.

Finally, she decided to go pick up Alexia early, since she didn't know what else to do. She woke Erick early from his nap and he was considerably less than pleased at being interrupted and didn't hesitate to let her know, from his protested loud cries. Still, she needed him to be a little extra tired, so hopefully he would take an early bedtime that afternoon so she could talk to Scotty. She bathed and dressed him in fresh change of clothes before gathering his and her things into the baby bag. She carried him downstairs and out to the car, strapping him in his car seat. He was still whimpering and crying a bit but he calmed down a bit as she handed him a plastic set of toy keys to play with. Eventually his protests and cries diminished throughout the drive to the day care. Once they arrive, Erick was quiet, almost pacified. He cooed adorably as she parked, got out of the car, and unblocked him form his car seat. He charmed the day care staff, as Lilly signed Alexia out and gathered her things. By the time she'd gotten both kids into the car, Erick had started to fuss again and Alexia was getting a bit cranky. She was beginning to dread the drive home, since it was the middle of rush hour and both kids were getting restless. But before she could pull out to the parking lot, her phone began to vibrate and ring. It was a text from Scotty.

_Leaving office early._

_ Do you want to meet at Marina's for dinner?_

_ S._

She texts a quick reply.

_Just picked up Alexia from day care. Be there in 20._

After dinner and once they arrive at home, they each put one of the kids to bed. Lilly coaxes Alexia upstairs and into bed, while Scotty put Erick down. After twenty minutes, they finally get the kids to sleep, and meet halfway down the stairs. They walk out back to the screened porch and sit on the loveseat. Lilly half reclines against Scotty as she fiddles with the baby monitor in her hand. For a moment neither one of them say anything. But finally curiosity wins Scotty over and he asks, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah. Why do you ask?"

"Well, because you've been acting weird all afternoon and something's clearly on your mind."

She sighs before saying, "I meet with my sister today."

"I thought she was still in rehab."

"She has a couple more weeks left, but she almost done with the program."

"How's she doing?"

"Better. I think."

"Is that what you're so worried about? That's she not doing better."

"No she's fine. I think she finally got it right this time. I spoke to her program director and her sponsor and they both said she's doing exceptionally well and putting forth a lot of effort."

"Did she say something that upset you?"

"No. It's not something she said. It's something she asked for."

"She needs money already? Did you tell her our plan?"

"I told her, but it's not about money. It's about Alexia." She pauses and takes a breath before saying, "She wants us to adopt her. Permanently."

She hears a hitch in his breath, so he's clearly surprised. For a while, he doesn't say or do anything and the waiting nearly drives her crazy. Finally, he asks, "What did you tell her?"

"You haven't told me what you think," she says quietly.

This time Scotty takes a breath, as she sits up, and before he says, "I hope you know how much I love you and our children, Lil, and how much I care about you. Even though Alexia isn't biologically ours, I love her as if she was my own. You, Alexia, and Erick are my world and I would do anything for you three. To be honest I was dreading the day your sister would finish rehab, because it meant she'd be that much closer to being able to care for Alexia herself and… I was so afraid of losing her. She's the reason we're here. The first time I held her, at the beach, was… I never imagined I could care about anyone that much. That tiny baby girl was the beginning for us. I cherish every moment I've spent with you and our kids. You're my family, and I already feel like she's mine, so… What do we have to do to make this legal?"

For a moment she is speechless and slightly chocked up by tears. She'd predicted his reaction to be somewhat positive, but she never imagined… His response had surprised her. She tried to open her mouth several times to speak, but no words or sounds came out. Finally, she gave into the tears, as Scotty pulled her into his arms and she sank into them, relieved. When she finally gets a hold of herself, several minutes later, he asks, "Is that why you were so worried? You were nervous about how I'd respond to adopting Alexia?"

"I know, it was stupid…" She says, swiping tears from her eyes and laughing a bit.

"It's not," he says grasping her hand. "Lilly, I love you, and I would never do anything to intentionally hurt you. And I'm soo sorry if I ever did, or said anything to make you believe otherwise."

She meets his gaze, seeing the genuine concern and deep affection in his eyes.

"I love you." She say smiling, loving the words slipping off her tongue so effortlessly and honestly.

"I love you more." He says with a smile as he kisses her, firmly yet loving and sweetly. She dosen't hesitate to return his amorous affections.

Later that night….

Lilly stirs in bed, half asleep and turns around searching for Scotty. But instead of Scotty, she finds the covers on his side of the bed pulled back, and his place empty, slightly cold. Almost instantly, she's awake and up, searching for him. He always gets up several times throughout the night, but never for more than a few minutes. She's gotten so used to sleeping in the same bed as him, that she can't sleep when he's not there. She hates the nights he has to on stakeouts, because it always takes her forever to fall asleep.

He's nowhere in their bedroom or bathroom. She wanders downs the hall to the nursery, thinking he might have gotten up to tend to Erick, but he's not in there either. She finally walks down the hall to Alexia's room. As she approaches, she hears his voice, in a soft whisper. She pauses in the shadows of the doorway and listens quietly. He's standing by the window, bathed in moonlight, and holding Alexia in his arms. She lifts her head, slowly and sleepily as she asks, "Daddy?"

"Shhh… It's okay princess. Go back to sleep."

Alexia cradles her head back into Scotty's shoulder and falls asleep again. Once she seems to be asleep again, he kisses the top of her head, but doesn't move from his place by the window. That moment, was her extra bit of reassurance that he'd meant everything he said. She knew he loved Alexia and Erick, but it was fleeting moments like this, that she occasionally caught, that gave her an extra sense of security and reassurance that she often needed.

As she returned to their bedroom, deep in thought, her thoughts drifted to Cristina. Maybe she was more like her sister than she wanted to realize. Cristina tended to be scared of good things, while she, likewise, tended to ruin them. She was so unsure of good things; she tended to doubted them, to the extent of, generally, also ruining them.

But for once in her life, her doubts and fears were slowly dissipating.


	23. Chapter 23

Author's Note: I know I'm always apologizing for the delays but I really am sorry I am such a procrastinator and perfectionist, two traits which don't go well together, but I'm seriously working on it. Million apologizes for the constant delays, but I hope you still read, review, and enjoy. Standard disclaimer applies… (Unfortunately, I don't own the characters or their likeness, expect for the kids and Isobel,)

**Chapter 23**

_**Approximately four months later**_

She walked as fast as she possibly could, in heels and not to attract attention to herself, which wasn't very fast. She wasn't used to wearing heels, let alone actually walking in them for more than an hour. And this outfit… black pencil skirt, white blouse, was really not helping. Fortunately, her hair was pulled back into a bun, off her face, so she could actually see where she was rushing.

Dammit, dammit, dammit she was sooo late… Stupid traffic. Dammit, her feet were killing her. Why the hell had she chosen to wear heels today, out of all days?

Fortunately, as she turned the corner, she saw Scotty pacing outside of the courtroom doors. That was a good sign. She breathed a small sigh of relief. Since he was still outside, it meant the D.A. hadn't called anyone in to testify yet. She rushed over to him, just as he turned around.

"Hey," he said giving her a quick peak on the check as he touched her arm. "I was afraid you weren't going to make it. Are the kids okay?"

"Yeah. No, they're fine. I just got held up in traffic. And I had my last shrink appointment today."

"Really. How did it go?"

"Good, I think. She signed off on the papers."

What she doesn't tell him is the real reason she was late. Although traffic certainly did delay her a bit, it had more to do with her lingering around the house for an extra half an hour after the nanny had arrived, when she was supposed to leave for her appointment with the shrink. She had a nightmare; about a month after Erick was born that had petrified her, beyond reason, of leaving the kids alone with anyone.

(Flashback)

_She'd arrived at the daycare, to pick up Alexia and Erick, one day after work. She didn't notice anything out of the ordinary, as she walked to the front desk to sign the kids out. But as she walked down the hall to the nursery, where Erick was, she noted an eerie silence and dimness. Not a singly cry. Her heart started pounding as she drew out her weapon and held it close to thigh. As she slowly turned the corner into the nursery, she saw a shadow and heard a cry, which she immediately recognized as Alexia's. She scanned the room; maintain her gun aimed low, towards the floor. The room was completely dark, aside from a few stray rays of remaining sunlight that seeped in through the tightly shut blinds. The room seemed to be empty, but then she heard it again. This time she was sure it was Alexia. _

"_Lexi? You in here honey?" She called out as she slowly advanced into the room. She heard a sniffed sob as a dark masked figure emerged from the shadows, clutching someone close in his hands._

"_Who's there?" She said as she raised her gun towards the shadowed figure._

"_You'd do best to get rid of that," the figure said with an amused tone as he continued to emerge from the darkness, walking towards her. With every step he takes, she takes two back. When he steps into the rays of sunlight, suddenly she recognized the person in his arms. Alexia. She feels her heart drop into the pit of her stomach as she takes in the scene before her. Alexia's mouth is duck tapped sloppily, her blond curls wet with tears, eyes wide with fear. "Otherwise, she'll pay the price."_

_Lilly slowly sets her gun down on the floor and slid it across the room. She stands up slowly, with her hands in the air, trying to hold back her tears and disguise her fear, for Alexia's sake__._

"_There now. That's better." The gunman __coos as he stroked Alexia's hair. Alexia only cries harder._

"_What do you want?"She asks, trying to keep her voice steady._

"_You. Detective Lilly Rush. Or… is it Lilly Valens now?"_

"_What are you talking about?" She says trying to keep her voice steady._

"_You don't know? Then… who is he?" The gunman says, stepping aside to reveal someone lying in a pool of blood behind him, whom she instantly recognizes. Scotty. A gunshot wound to his face. He's dead. Seeing him only makes Alexia scream and cry even harder._

"_Please..." Lilly pleads, trying to hold back her tears. "You can have me, just let her go."_

"_Unlikely," the gunman sneers. "Your ruined my life, Ms. Valens. Now I'll ruin yours. Starting with him," he says uncovering a tiny figure in a crib behind him, also gagged and bound tightly. It's Erick. His tiny face is covered in tears, but he's completely still. He's unconscious. She has to do something, anything. But before she can, she's covered in blood. Her child's blood. And Alexia's screams fill the room._

She wakes up in a startle, screaming, covered in cold sweat and tears. She looks around the room afraid that she woke Scotty. He's not in the room. She gets up and walks to the kids rooms. The nursery first, then Alexia's room. Both are sound asleep. Then she remembers. Scotty's out on a stakeout. She collapses in the middle of the hallway, in a fit of tears.

(Flashback)

"I'm sure you did fine. Is that why you're so dressed up?"

She smiles and says, "I'm trying to look competent and sane."

"You're not crazy. There's an expected amount of lingering trauma in any shooting. The shrink signed off on the papers, didn't she?"

"Faxed them in from the office."

"Then you have nothing to worry about. Relax." He pauses before asking, "How'd the kids take to the nanny this morning?"

"Fine. Alexia was excited. Erick was a bit fussy, but he was fine when I left."

A detail she leaves out is that the nanny practically had to push her out the front door to get her to leave. After the nightmare, she'd started to seek alternative childcare providers, beside daycares. She ended up searching for nannies. Although she signed up with an agency that ran background checks on all applicants, she had Scotty run separate, more detailed background checks on all the nannies she interviewed. Fortunately, he'd never questioned her sudden change in childcare providers. After interviewing several qualified nannies, they decided to hire Isobel. In her mid twenties, she's just graduated from the university. She had a bachelor's degree in early childhood, and was fluent in Spanish and Italian. She had excellent references and plenty of experience with children, particularly babies. Lilly felt a bit comforted, knowing that her children were in the capable hands of a professional, but somehow it wasn't the same as being at home with them. She must have been staring off into the distance or something because Scotty said, "Lil... Lilly are you okay?"

"What?" she says snapping out of her worries. "No, I'm fine."

"You're acting strange. What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I told you, I'm fine."

"No, you're not. What's going on?"

She pauses for a second before saying, "I miss Erick."

He smiles as he pulls her into a comforting embrace. "Of course you do. You've been on leave for almost seven months. I don't think you've ever been away from him, since he was born, for more than an hour. Why don't you call home and ask how he's doing?" He says releasing her.

"What if I get called in to testify?"

"I'll stall them. Besides you know how long Bell's opening statements are." He says jokingly.

She smiles as she pulls out her cell phone and walks a few steps away from Scotty, to a nearby bench. The phone rings about three times before it's answered.

"Valens Residence," Isobel says.

"Hey, it's Lilly. I was just calling to see how the kids are doing?"

"They're fine. Having a great time. Erick is napping and Alexia and I just finished baking cookies."

"Mamma!" She hears Alexia exclaim happily in the background. Lilly laughs and says, " Do you mind if I talk to Alexia for a minute?"

"Of course not. Let me just clean her hands. She's covered in cookie dough. Seconds later Alexia is on the phone, " Mama I made cookies for you and Daddy!"

"That's wonderful sweetie. How are you getting along with Isobel?"

"She's fun. We went to the park with Erick and she pushed me on the swings and helped me on the slide and…" Just then, she hears a cry from the background as Alexia says, "I think Erick's awake."

"Okay honey, can you put Isobel back on the phone for me please?"

She hears the phone being shuffled around before Isobel's voice comes back on. "Erick just woke up from his nap." She hears Erick gurgle and giggle happily in response.

"I just wanted to make sure they were okay. Thanks Isobel."

"No problem. Have a good day at work."

"Thanks. Bye." Lilly say hanging up.

"So…" Scotty says.

"They're fine. Erick just woke up from a nap. Alexia says she made us cookies."

Scotty smiles but before either one of them can say anything more, the doors to the courtroom open and Bell's assistant pokes his head out.

"Detective Rush," he says looking at them both, before glancing at Lilly. "We're ready for you inside."  
She looks back at Scotty nervously but he gives her a reassuring nod and says, as Bell's assistant disappears inside. "You'll do fine. You've done this a million times before." He kisses her check before she takes a deep breath and opens the courtroom door, disappearing inside.


	24. Chapter 24

_Author's note:_ TGIF ! In honor of the weekend, I thought I'd post a new chapter. This chapter took forevvver to write and edit but I think it's as close to perfection as it's going to get. Anyways standard disclaimer applies and let me know what you think. (P.s.- tiny blast from the past in this chapter. Someone we haven't seen in a long time. I was watching reruns of Cold Case the other day and thought I'd add him into the story)

**Chapter 24**

The room grew silent as she entered the courtroom, the only sound were her heels, clicking against the impeccable wooden floors of the courtroom. Her footsteps echoed as she walked across the gallery, to the witness stand. She raised her right hand as the bailiff swore her in. It was all routine. But at the same time, it wasn't. This time it was personal. Because it wasn't just about her brush with death. This time, it was about the man who'd endanger her life and her baby. Still, she had to maintain a level of emotional distance, because being overly emotional involved could endanger the prosecution of the case. But what she didn't know, was just how personal this case was about to get.

It was only when she sat down, as she was smoothing out her skirt, when she looked around the courtroom as ADA Bell rose from his seat at the prosecution's table. Looking around the room, she saw the usual crowd of people. The victim's family and friends. A couple random people supporting the defendant. A reporter or two that had snuck into the back rows. Curious spectators. A couple officers. But one person in particular caught her attention. The defense attorney, looked strikingly familiar. And then it hit her. It was Kite.

Fortunately, before her reaction could betray her and give away her complete shock, the thought of Kit being a defense attorney, the defense attorney in this case, and completely break her concentration, Bell began his line of questioning. The questions forced her to concentrate on the matter at hand, the trial. She answered the questions whiteout much difficulty, one because they were easy, and two, because she'd never be able to forget what happened that day, leaving her mind slightly unrestricted to think. The last she heard, Kite had resigned from the D.A.'s , but she had no idea he became a defense attorney. She wasn't sure what to think. He'd always been very black and white, clear about the distinction between the two sides of the law. He hated defense attorneys. Yet now, he was one. Bell's questions were too easy and flew by too fast. Her composure began to fall apart the second Bell had turned to walk back to the prosecution's table to sit down, seconds before the cross exam. Kite stood up from the table and began to walk towards her, his hands buttoning the top button of his suit jacket. Like he always did. Her mind flashed back to a memory.

One afternoon, after his court hearings were over. They took a cab back to his office. The second they were behind the safety of the closed doors of his office, he took off his suit jacket and tossed it onto a chair, breathing a sigh of relief that ended with a charming smile, aimed in her direction. She laughed and asked why he always buttoned the top button of his suit jacket right before a cross exam. Smiling, he didn't bother to answer her as he silenced her with a kiss. As she kissed him back, they stumbled back onto his desk, accidentally knocking over a pile of papers, which scattered to the floor. He…

The sound of his voice instantly brought her back to the present, in the courtroom. He began his line of questioning without so much as an acknowledging eye connection.

"Detective, it states in your file, and in your medical report, that at the time this incident occurred, you were nine months pregnant. Is that correct?"

"Yes."

"Nine months pregnant. Were you or were you not, supposed to be to on maternity leave?"

"Yes."

"Why weren't you, if I may ask?"

"I chose to keep working."

"You chose to keep working, even though you knew you might be endangering the life of your unborn child."

"I was on restricted desk duty. I was doing paperwork, and as far as I know, paperwork isn't in any way dangerous."

Kite cracks a small smile before asking, "Desk duty doesn't include interviews or interrogations, does it?"

"No."

"So then, why did you proceed to conduct an interview on my client's ex-girlfriend when she walked into your prescient that morning?"

"There was no one else around. The woman appeared to be visibly distraught. There was no indication of danger so I though it was safe to talk to her."

"Can you briefly summarize the events that transpired next?"

"I lead her into an integration room and asked her to have a seat. I saw Detective Miller across the room and asked her to help with the interview. We returned to the room and just began to question the woman, when we heard raised voices and loud aggravated voices coming from the outside. When Detective Miller and I approached and opened the door, we saw a masked gunman firing shots in the squad room. Before we could close the door again, he saw us and began to barrel towards us. When he saw the woman sitting at the table behind us, he became increasingly upset and forced us back into the room at gunpoint. He threaded to kill us, starting with me, if anyone tried to come into the room. Once in the room, he forced Detective Miller and myself, back into a corner, before beginning to scream angrily at the woman. I began to have sharp concentrated pains in my lower abdomen and Detective Mille realized the stress of the situation had sent me into premature labor. The contractions were advancing quickly and intensifying. I needed medical attention. Detective Miller sent an urgent help message to a member of our team, with details on our location as well as the gunman's'."

"Who specifically was the message sent to?"

"Detective Valens."

"Why him? If I'm not mistaken there are several other members on your team."

"He was the only one we were sure wasn't in the building when the incident occurred, so he was the only one who presumably wasn't injured and unable to help."

"Is that the only reason the message was sent to him? Isn't it true that he's also the father of the child? The child you were pregnant, or rather, in labor with at the time you were being held hostage?"

She can practically feel her blood boil, as she gets ready to snap at him. How dare he?! The outrage is building inside of her but before she can say anything , Bell beats her to it, practically flying out of his seat at the prosecution's table, raising his hand in his own outrage.

"Objection! Your Honor, that question is completely irrelevant."

"The question applies to Detective Rush and Valens state of mind during the situation, thereby affecting their actions and the outcomes." Kite answers smugly, smoothly and almost instantly.

"It sounds more like a problem for IAB. Move on with your line of questioning." The judge says, glancing at the attorneys. Bell straightens himself out before sitting back down, as Kite paces back towards them defense table. He pauses for a moment, with his back to the front of the courtroom before turning around and stating, "No further questions."

He sits back down at the table as Bell gets up and asks the judge, "Redirect, Your Honor?"

"Continue" The judge says granting his request. Bell walks out from behind the table and pauses as few feet in front of her.

"Detective. How long have you worked with the members of your team?"

"About seven years."  
"How many times have you saved their lives, or have they saved yours?"

"I can't give you a definitive number but both have happened on several occasions."

"You trust each other with your very lives. You've established comradeships, correct?"

"Yes."

"Taking all this into consideration, it isn't unreasonable or strange that you would request aid from a fellow team member in a time of need?"

"No."

"And, given if the circumstances were different, would you have requested the aid of another team member?"

"Yes."

"Did your personal relationship with Detective Valens, or any other team member, in any way hinder your decision making?"

"No."

"Thank you." Bell says to Lilly as he turns and walks back to his table. "No further questions, Your Honor." He says to the judge, just before he sits down.

"The witness is excused. Thank you Detective." The judge says, as he sets aside a notepad.

Lilly nods to the judge, before standing up and walking off the stand. She's slightly shaky, due to Kite's last few questions. She knew they hadn't ended on the best terms but she never expected anything like this, and certainly not from him. Still, she remained composed as she walked towards the courtroom gallery. Although this time, there are more sounds than the clicking of her heels against the floor. Low whispers follow her out, but she barley hears them. They don't disturb her confidence a bit, as she walks out with her head held high. For once, she doesn't' care what anyone else thinks, says, or does. She has everything she's ever wanted. Scotty, Alexia, and Erick. Love and a family, and no one could ever ruin that.


	25. Chapter 25

_Author's note:_ Soo sorry, it's been so long. I sincerely apologize, and thank you all for you patience. Life has been crazy over the past few months but I promise to finish this story before the end of the year. I had doubts about this chapter, but I'm about as satisfied as I'll ever be with this chapter, so I figured I should post it before I lose my nerve. Standard disclaimer always applies.

P.S. - Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against Kite, but he just fit a role so nicely into this story, so I figured, why not? It just so happens the role Kite fit, also happened to be a, not so good guy role. But I do really like Kite. I'm not sure about love, given the fact that he broke up with Lilly for such a stupid reason, but that's another story. Sorry, I'm starting to ramble. Anyways read, review, and enjoy!

**Chapter 25- **

If there was one thing Scotty Valens despised more than paperwork and IAB investigations, it was testifying in court. For one thing, testimony for one case alone, took the entire day. An entire day, which could be more productively spent, was wasted, sitting in court having to justify his every decision to a crowd of strangers. Plus, he spent more time waiting out in the hallways of the courthouse, than actually in the court, testifying. On top of that, he had to watch his every move and word, because the defense attorney would, no doubt, be observing his every move and breath, ready to pounce on the slightest hint of anything.

This time, it was taking a particularly long time for him to be called in. He'd been out in the hallway forever, and was beginning to get impatient. He paced in a circle, around and around, but eventually had to stop, because he was making himself dizzy. Just when he was about to go inside and inquire when they were going to call him, Lilly opened the doors and walked out of the courtroom, followed by Bell's assistant, who instantly motioned for Scotty to come inside. Bell's assistant stood by the open courtroom door, waiting to escort him inside. As he walked towards the open door, his eyes meet Lilly's for a fleeting second, just before he disappeared inside the courtroom. As he walked up to the stand, there were quiet mummers among the crowd. Scotty scanned the crowd of spectators, and the defense attorney's team, as he usually did, but this time, almost stopped cold in his tracks when he realized who the defense attorney was.

Kite.

He'd been one of their numerous prosecutors a long time ago, and, most importantly, Lilly's ex boyfriend. He struggled to continue walking normally to the stand, and not to show any signs of frustration, though he was about ready to explode. As he stood on the stand, with his right hand raised, the oath seemed to take forever, and the grin on Kite's face only seemed to get smugger by the second. It took all of his restraint to keep from getting up and wiping the smug grin off of Kit's face with his fist. Fortunately, Bell provided a momentary distraction, as he began to ask the standard questions of the events that transpired the day Lilly and Kat were taken hostage, although, Scotty still kept glancing occasionally at Kite. When it was time for the cross exam, Kite stood up slowly, deliberately, taking the time to button the top button of his suit jacket, as he slowly made his way towards Scotty. Scotty tried not to huff impatiently, as Kite finally asked, "Detective, is it true, that you and Detective Vera violated protocol in this incident?"

"If you're going by the textbook, yes we did." Scotty answered smoothly and clearly.

"What do you mean 'by the textbook'?"

"There's always a way "thing should be done". Steps that have to be taken, procedures that have to be followed, according to department policies. But it's another thing, when you're out there, and it's your friends, your co-workers, your people, in those situations. What are you going to do? Sit and wait for instructions from the department on how to proceed while they're in danger, or do something about it?"

"So you broke protocol because of personal connections?"

"I've worked with this team for seven years, so yeah, there are personal connections. These people are my second family."

"Your second family? That literally includes Detective Rush, correct? You know, since she is your live-in girlfriend?" Kite says smugly.

"Objection, Your Honor. Detective Valens just explained a completely logical process of thought, regarding why he violated procedure in this situation, and went into the building. This is an attack. Defense is badgering the Detective by attacking his personal life and character, both of which have nothing to do with this case." Bell says, standing up immediately.

"Sustained." The judge says, "Defense, move on."

And it goes on and on, for another forty minutes, an intense examination of every aspect of his actions that day. Kite keeps trying to weave doubt into his testimony, constantly bringing up his relationship with Lilly, in different ways, though each time; he is shut down by a swift objection from Bell. A few times, he really has to restraint himself from physically lashing out at Kite to get him to shut up. But the thought that gets him through, the thought that keeps him calm and going, is the thought of going home. Home to his son and daughter. Home to Lilly.


	26. Chapter 26

_Author's Note: _As everyone probably knows, Lilly Rush, though she may be the best TV detective, seriously lack culinary skills, or so the Cold Case has shown, in an episode or two. So Cold Case owns Lilly's lack of culinary skills, but I own Alexia, Erick, and the idea for this story. Unfortunately, I do not own anything else. Anyways, standard disclaimer always applies and I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoy writing and positing it. Don't forget to leave reviews! =) 3

**Chapter 26**

_Three months after the trial_

Thank God, it was Friday! Two years ago, Fridays meant one of two things. Unlimited time with a boyfriend, or an unlimited amount of time to be alone, something which she dreaded and desperately tried to avoid, so she filled every waking minute with any possible task except being alone.

Now Fridays meant the end of a work-week, but most importantly it meant she had two whole days to spend with her kids and Scotty. Two whole days, when she could spend 24/7 with them.

After Erick's birth, with everything that had happened, she was constantly afraid, not for herself, but for Alexia and Erick. Afraid that something, someone would try to harm them and she'd be unable to stop it. The nightmares that plagued her at night didn't help either.

Though department policy required a minimum three-month maternity leave, given the circumstances, she'd taken an extra four months off. And those months, as challenging as they had been, had been the best months of her life. Of course, she had to remind herself of that sometimes, especially during the first few months, when Erick woke up every fifteen minutes at night. She had truly relished the time she took off to spend with the kids. She felt a slight bit more at ease, since, in that time frame, she knew where they were, every second and whom they were with. Over the months, her anxiety began to ease and she began to relax a bit. That is until she realized her time at home was coming to an end, and her terrors began to resurface. Though part of her was relieved and eager to get back to work, part of her dreaded the thought of being was from the kids for the whole day, especially Erick. She felt, given the day and place he was nearly born in, he was frailer than Alexia, and needed a bit of extra protection, though in the back of her mind she knew those circumstances didn't change anything for him. He was as strong and feisty as ever and despite the fact he was barley seven months old, he was the spiting image of his father, in nearly every way. The only resemblance she could see between her and Erick were their eyes, both a bright vibrant azure.

She'd gotten so used to being at home with the kids in those few months; she hadn't realized how much she missed work, until she actually returned. Though part of her was still mildly afraid to leave them, no matter how briefly, after a seven-month leave, it hadn't taken her more than five minutes to get back into her work. She wasn't completely rusty, due to the fact that Kat had been secretly sneaking her case files for months.

Like being a mother, the drive to bring closure, to solve things came naturally to her; she hardly considered it to be work. Although she loved her job, she still missed her kids, at least when she had a spare moment, which fortunately, she didn't have much of, because keeping busy helped her not to worry. It was a slight relief to know that her kids were at home, with a qualified sitter, though she wasn't sure she'd ever completely trust her kids to anyone. Just to air on the side of caution, and for her personal peace of mind, she'd somehow managed to convince Scotty to have a new high-tech security system installed, which allowed her to check in on the kids and the nanny, without their knowledge, through a link she'd installed from the system to her work computer. Even so, she still missed the kids like crazy during the week. Somehow watching on a screen wasn't the same as personally interacting with them.

So this Friday, she took advantage of the fact that it was a slow day and they weren't making much progress on the case, to leave the office early. During the drive home, all she could think of was how much she missed her kids. The drive seemed endless, even though she knew it was less than forty minutes. When she finally arrived at home, Erick was taking a late nap, and Alexia had just finished playing tea party with Elaine, the nanny. She thanked and paid Elaine before letting her go early.

She figured, since she was home, she should make dinner, for once. Scotty was usually in charge of cooking, since her talents in the kitchen were limited to anything microwavable and plugging in appliances. She'd only been able to decently master one meal.

Pasta.

Still, it'd taken her forever, about twenty boxes of pasta, several gallons of water, and a couple pots (some which hadn't made it), for her to learn how to cook the pasta properly, without burning it or the pot. Memories from her childhood and the fact that her own mother hadn't made much of an effort, with either her or Christina, made her realize she wanted so much more for her kids. Even though Alexia wasn't biologically hers or Scotty's, since Monday, she was legally theirs. The adoption papers had finally come through. She and Scotty had agreed to tell Alexia when she was older and could better understand the situation.

She heated the sauce; secretly store brought, and poured a bag of salad in a bowl before placing it in the fridge to chill. Just then, she heard a cry coming from the security monitor, which was set up on her tablet, which she had propped up on the kitchen counter. As she glanced at the monitor, which was focused on the kids' rooms and the den, where Alexia was watching TV, she noticed the den was empty. Through the monitor, she saw the door to the nursery creep open slowly, as Alexia quietly entered the room. Erick continued to whimper as Alexia walked over to the crib. Lilly glanced back at the kitchen to make sure the stove was off, before dashing upstairs to the nursery. She arrived just as Alexia was trying to cram her favorite stuffed turtle through the bars of Erick's crib.

Alexia stopped when she heard her coming, turning as she said, "Mama, he's crying."

Lilly took the turtle out of the bars of Erick's crib, and handed it back to Alexia, before scooping Erick out of his crib. As she turns back to Alexia with Erick still in her arms, she notices Alexia's wide, slightly frightened eyes staring back at her worriedly. Lilly rubs Erick's back soothingly and his whimpers begin to cease as he settles against her shoulder, and begins to fall asleep again, almost immediately.

"Mommy?" Alexia says clutching her turtle, as she tugs on Lilly's arm with her free hand.

"Shhhh… he's falling asleep…" Lilly whispers, as she continues to rub Erick's back. She paces around the room for a minute to make sure he's asleep before quietly, and slowly lowering him back into his crib. She turns up the volume of the monitor on the side of the crib, before grabbing the portable monitor off the dresser and gently leading Alexia out of the room. She leaves the door to the nursery a bit ajar, before scooping Alexia into her arms and carrying her downstairs. Alexia giggles, as Lilly kisses her stomach and sets her down on the couch in the living room, before sitting beside her. Alexia looks up at her with bright blue expectant eyes.

"Do you remember when we brought Erick home from the hospital?" Lilly asks.

Alexia nods seriously and says, "Daddy said I was a big sister and I was 'pposed to take care of him. But that's what I was doing… He was crying and I wanted to give him my turtle, so he would stop. He was sad."

Lilly couldn't help but crack a small smile as she said, "That's very sweet and I appreciate you trying to help. But when you hear him cry, if I'm not in the room you have to come and get me, or Daddy. Because babies cry for a lot of reasons, not just because they're sad. They can't talk so they communicate by crying."

"But Sam Turtle wanted to make him feel better." Alexia says sincerely.

Lilly's smile widens, just a tiny bit before she says, "I know but next time, promised me you'll get me, or Daddy first. Then maybe Sam Turtle can help. Okay?"

"Okay." Alexia says nodding. She pauses before saying, "I'm sorry Mommy."

"Oh, sweetie," Lilly says as she scoops Alexia into her lap, cradling her. "I know you didn't mean any harm. Just be more careful," She says as she strokes Alexia long silky wavy hair. Suddenly, Alexia lifts her head off of Lilly's chest and jumps out of her lap as she says excitedly, "I have to show you something."

She runs out of the room and dashes upstairs. Lilly gets up and begins to follow her upstairs when she hears the doorbell ring. She walks over to the door and opens it, without bothering to look and see who it is, expecting a deliveryman of some sort, but instead, is met face to face with the last person she ever expected to see on her doorstep.


	27. Chapter 27

_Author's note:_ I know a lot of you thought the person at the door was Christina, but… well you have to read the chapter to find out =) (good guesses, though) Enjoy & review!

**Chapter 27**

"Kite."  
"Lilly," he says, his eyes sparkling as he flashes her a charming smile. "Wow, you look great."

"What…" she stammers, as her hand self-consciously flies to her hair. It's still in the messy bun she put it up in that morning, though a few tendrils have strayed out, throughout the day. She is wearing a slightly fitted, deep plum dress that falls just above her knees, since she had a meeting with Alexia's teacher earlier that day. A thousand thoughts flying through her head, ranging from 'what the hell is he doing here' to 'time hasn't changed much'.

Finally, she decides to go with the later as she says, slightly defensively "What are you doing here?"

"I just want to talk. It's been so long. Can I come in?"

She hesitates for a second before reluctantly stepping aside to let him in. She closes the door behind him and they go into the living room. He sits on the couch and as she sits on the couch across from him, Olivia appears by her side, followed by Tripod. Tripod curls up by her side, while Olivia meows softly as she brushes her tail along Lilly's arm. She gently picks Olivia up, by her stomach, and places her onto her lap, stroking her head softly.

"Still have your mutants, I see." Kite comments, lightheartedly.

"How did you find me?" Lilly asks, as Tripod jumps off the couch and disappears down the hallway.

"I'm a defense attorney. It wasn't exactly hard."

"Why are you here?"

"Like I said I just want to talk." He pauses before saying, "Actually I wanted to apologize, for what happened in court, the other day and… for the way things ended between us. It wasn't right and I'm sorry."

"That was a long time ago." She says, slightly thoughtful, as Olivia meows and jumps off her lap, disappearing into the kitchen.

"It doesn't feel that way to me. I gave up on us and I shouldn't have. I should have tried harder. I messed up."

"It wouldn't have worked one way or the other, no matter what anyone said or did."

"I don't think so. Anyways, I wanted to say I'm sorry. About everything."

"You came all this way just to say you're sorry?"

"Why not?"

Before she can say anything, she hears Alexia's footsteps on the stairs again, and seconds later, she's in the room with them. She starts to run towards Lilly but she stops when she sees Kite.

"Mommy, who's he?" Alexia asks shyly pointing at Kite.

"Come here sweetie," Lilly says opening her arms for Alexia, who rushes into them. Lilly pulls Alexia onto her lap as she says to her, "He's a friend I used to work with. His name is Kite. Can you say hi?"

"Hi," Alexia says timidly. She pauses before saying, "I have a butterfly kite in my room. Are you a real kite like the ones that fly in the sky, like my butterfly kite?"

"Not exactly. But I do know how to fly." He says grinning good-humoredly.

"Really?" Alexia says excitedly.

"Of course. Do you want me to show you?"

Alexia nods as she slips out of Lilly's arms and creeps towards Kite. He scoops her up into his arms and holds her horizontally in the air, facing downward, his arms under her stomach, as he spins her around the room. Alexia giggles and wriggles excitedly, loving every second of it, as Lilly looks on vigilantly. He sets her down and she takes off running towards Lilly again, this time smiling as she asks "Can he do that again, Mommy?"

"Maybe later." Lilly says stoking her hair as she says, "Listen sweetie, Kite and I need to talk. Why don't you go finish watching your movie?"

"Okay," Alexia says agreeably as she runs out of the room and down the hall to the den.

"Your daughter?" Kite asks once Alexia is out of earshot.

"Yes."

"She's beautiful. She looks exactly like you." He pauses before adding hesitantly, "Lilly… I want to give us another chance."

"Kite…"

"Just hear me out. I think we both owe it to ourselves to give us another chance. What we had was special and I think this time it can work out."  
"Kite, no. I'm sorry. I can't." She pauses as she gets up from the couch and walks towards the front door. He follows her and reaches her side just as she opens the door as she says, "I think you should leave."

"Are you sure this is what you want?" He asks tenderly, pausing by her side at the open door. He's so close she can feel the warmth of his breath on her neck.

"I'm sure," She says firmly, taking a small step back. Sudddenly, before she can react, his lips are on hers, kissing her, like he used to. For a fleeting second, she remembers everything, every night they spent together, every time he kissed her and part of her misses it. Suddenly, just as qucikly as the memories of Kite returned, she remembers everything she has now. Scotty. She instantly pushes Kite away. Before either, one of them can say anything, they hear a voice from the end of the hallway, next to the stairs.

"Mommy?"

Alexia is standing a few feet away, looking them. Lilly sighs quietly as she says, "Honey can you go back into the den? I'll be there in a second."

Alexia runs back down the hall and disappears from sight, just as Lilly turns back to Kite. She takes another step back as she says, "Kite, I'm with someone. You know that. I can't do this. We had our chance and it passed. It's too late."

"No ring," He comments looking at her hand. "You're not married."

"I don't have to be married to be committed to someone. And I am. I love him."

"Valens?"

"You need to go Kite," she says firmly. "Now."

He sighs deeply as he turns towards the door. Just before he steps out, he turns back and looks at her for a long time before saying, "Bye Lilly."

"Bye," she adds curtly before closing and locking the door behind him.


	28. Chapter 28

_Author's note:_ I know the end of the year was a couple of days ago, and I promised to finsh this story before the end of the year but… Well, things happen. So for 2013, my resolution is not to make any promises I can't keep. Along with finishing this story. There is an end in sight, only a couple chapters left. For the most part, they're all typed but they're still rough draft. Will do my best to edit and updated soon. Standard disclaimer applies and as always read, review, and enjoy! Happy (belated) New Years!

**Chapter 28**

Two hours later, as she sits down to dinner with Scotty and Alexia, anything that happened earlier that afternoon with Kite, is, nearly, long forgotten. The only reminder is the slight guilt that keeps creeping up, every once in awhile in the back of her mind, though she quickly silences it. The kiss meant nothing and she ended it nearly instantly.

Or so she keeps telling herself. But just as quickly, as she silences her guilty conscious, it's back nearly instantly, hammering away at her.

She tries to ignore her guilt, as she places Erick in his highchair. Erick immediately begins to wriggle and protest but stops as he sees her open a small container and offers him a spoonful of mashed carrots. He opens his mouth and gurgles happily, leaking mashed carrots out of the sides of his mouth. As she wipes the corners of his mouth with the edge of a napkin, Scotty helps Alexia into her seat and begins to cut up her spaghetti into smaller bits. A few minutes pass in silence, but they're both too busy with the kids to bother with the silence, much less notice it.

Finally, when both kids are somewhat settled, she asks, "Did you and Nick finish going over the will for the Chiron case?"

"Barley the first half. That thing is about a thousand pages and makes absolutely no sense. It's written in some kind of cryptic shorthand." Scotty says, just before taking a sip of water.

"Handwriting couldn't help?" Lilly comments, reaching for another napkin.

"Couldn't find them. Called half a dozen times before I finally went down to their office and no one was there."

"What are you going to do?" She asks.

"We're going to try and talk to the daughter again on Monday. She said she was going to look over her father's papers again to see if there was anything she missed the first time. Nick said he was also going to try to find the associate again. Maybe he can shed some light on the shorthand."

Just then, Alexia asks, "Daddy, what's an 'ssociate?"

Scotty smiles as he answers "Associate. It means someone you work with."

"Like Kite?" Alexia asks, looking up at Scotty with wide blue eager, mildly questioning, eyes. "Mommy said he was her friend she used to work with. But then he kissed Mommy and she made him leave."

For a few minutes, no one says anything. Lilly can practically feel Scotty's eyes drilling into her, a thousand questions whirling around his mind. She avoids his piecing gaze as she pretends to concentrate on feeding Erick. After a moment, Scotty's attention turns from Lilly to Alexia, pretending he didn't hear what Alexia just said. "How was your day, princess?"

Alexia doesn't notice their obvious discomfort in the room, as she begins to ramble off a list of the day's events with the nanny. The rest of the meal's conversation continues solely between Scotty and Alexia. After dinner, she takes Erick into the kitchen to clean him up. As she's wiping Erick's face and hands with a wet washcloth, she doesn't hear Scotty enter the kitchen and walk up behind her. She jumps at the slight touch of his hand on the edge of her shoulder.

"Sorry, I didn't hear you come in," she says swing the baby off the counter and into her arms.

"Do you want to go for a walk? I thought we'd take Alexia to the park." He says slightly hesitantly, his facial expression completely blank.

"Sure. Just let me grab a bottle for Erick."

Fifteen minutes later, Erick is bucked in his stroller and Alexia is racing ahead of them, as they enter the park. Alexia rushes off to the park as they take a seat at a park bench nearby. Erick is quiet for a moment, but soon begins to fuss in his stroller, as he watches the other kids' runs around the park. Lilly takes a blanket out from underneath the stroller and lays it on the ground before unbuckling him and placing him on the blanket, with a few of his favorite toys, to play with.

For a while, they sit on the bench side by side. Scotty doesn't say anything as he watches the kids on the playground. Her gaze shifts back and forth periodically from Erick to Alexia, occasionally peering at Scotty from the corner of her eye. Finally, he asks, "How does Alexia know Kite?"

She takes a deep breath before saying, "He showed up on our doorstep this afternoon."

"What did he want?" He asks struggling to keep his voice leveled as he stares straight ahead.

"To talk. At least that's what he said."

He pauses for a moment before asking, "What happened?"

"He said he wanted to apologize. He said he messed up when we were dating and he regretted it. He wanted another chance but I said no and told him to leave."

"That's it?"

"Not exactly," she says slightly hesitantly, dreading his reaction when she tells him what happened next. She takes a breath before saying, "When I told him to leave, I got up and opened the door for him, for emphasize, and just before he left… he kissed me."

"What?!" He says, nearly exploding, struggling to maintain physical composure as not to alarm the kids and people around them.

"I didn't kiss him back." She adds quickly. "It all happened so fast."

"Kissed as in…," he says, his voice trembling with anger.

"On the lips. I pushed him away and told him to get out and he did."

"I … God, I could kill him!" Scotty mutters in sheer outrage. "Creep… First thing tomorrow, I'm going to call in a few favors and get a restraining order against…" his voice trails off angrily, as he bits his bottom lip to keep from saying a few unkind choice words.

She slides closer to him on the park bench, clasping her hand over his as she says, "Do you know what he said when I pushed him away?" She pauses, continuing when he doesn't answer. "He noticed I didn't have a ring, so he said commented I wasn't married. And I told him I didn't need a ring and I loved you. Not him. He left and he's not coming back. Because I love you."

Slowly, she feels the rigidness in his body fade a bit, as his breathing begins to return to normal. Inside, she lets out a breath of relief she didn't realize she'd been holding back. But as she looks away from him, she notices the blanket where Erick was playing is empty. He's gone. She drops Scotty's hand, and instantly, is on her feet.

"What's wrong?"

"Erick. He's gone. I looked away… I only looked away for a second," she says panicked, frantically scanning the area. Suddenly she spots something crawling by a nearby bush. Erick. She breaths a sigh of relief and as she begins to rushes towards him, he reaches for a low branch, pulling himself up to a standing position. She stops, inches away from him and watches as he steadies himself. He stands still for a few minutes, wobbling a bit, before he takes a small, hesitant first step. He stops and meets her eyes just before taking another, slightly less hesitant, step. After a few steps, he lets go of the branch and takes a solitary step. Somehow Scotty appeared by her side and his hand reaches for hers as they both watch, transfixed by the sight of their son taking his first steps. He takes one more step, then another, and for a moment, he's toddling around the grass, laughing and stumbling around. She doesn't notice tears are running down her face until Erick stumbles and fall back on his rear. He immediately looks up at her, his eyes wide, on the verge of tears. Lilly rushes over to him, sweeping him off the ground and cuddling him against her shoulder. She walks back towards the bench where Scotty takes Erick from her arms, into his own, and gives him a hug and quick peak on the cheek before setting him down on the blanket again. Erick settles down and begins to play with his toys again. They return and sit on the bench, this time watching Erick more closely. After a moment, Scotty says, "This is my fault."

"How could it be your fault? Babies fall when they're learning how to walk. He's fine. I just kind of overreacted a bit."

"Not Erick. Kite."

"I don't understand," she says slightly confused.

"He's right. I should have gotten you a ring."

"I never asked for one. In fact, I don't need one."

"Still it would be nice," he comments.

"A ring?" She asks, more perplexed than before.

"Marriage," He says.

For a moment, it seems the world around them stops, along with her breathing.

"What… Are…?" She stammers trying to form a complete sentence.

His eyes turn to meet hers as he says, "Marry me, Lilly Rush."


	29. Chapter 29

_Author's note:_I did my best to represent Scotty's parents accurately, but forgive any mistakes (though personally I think I did a decent job). Thanks for all the great reviews and keep them coming! Love reading them =D Standard disclaimer applies and as always read, review, and enjoy! (_Reminder:_ Rosa and Ramiro Valens are Scotty's parents.)

**Chapter 29**

The next morning should be like all other Saturday mornings. But this one is drastically different. There's something in the air, a tension, brought about by their conversation last night. The same conversation that has been circling in her head all night, preventing her from sleeping. The same conversation that's kept Scotty tossing and turning all night long, and that made him leave for the gym an hour earlier than usual.

She knew this would happen, eventually, but somewhere in the back of her mind, a naïve part of her hoped it never would. Those two words, two simple words, "Marry me" scared her more than anything in the world. More than being held hostage, maybe even more than death. Because those two small words contained so much power. They could make or break a person. She'd experienced it personally, first hand with Patrick. Afterwards, she'd sworn to herself, she'd never put herself in that situation again. Important decisions shouldn't be made on whims of emotion. If she was ever going to commit to someone on that level again, she needed to be absolutely sure. But she couldn't be. Not now, not yet. The memories and pain were still too fresh. She was still too afraid. She tried to explain this much to Scotty, but she wasn't sure he'd heard her, or if she'd gotten through to him at all. She's said she wasn't ready, which was just as bad as saying no.

She would do anything to take back the pain she'd caused him when she gave him her answer. She'd apologized profusely and although he'd pretended it wasn't a big deal, she knew how much she'd hurt him. She wished she could take it back, she do anything to undo the pain, yet the only thing that would undo this was the one thing she couldn't do. Lie to him. Take back everything she said; say that she'd changed her mind. Hug him, crying, and say yes. Absolutely, yes, a thousand times. But she'd be lying to him, if she said, if she did that. And that was the one thing she couldn't bear to do. Lie to him. And the tiniest percent in her, doubted the reason for his proposal. At first, it seemed to be the excitement of the moment, watching Erick take his first steps, which had prompted the proposal. But the more she thought about it, the more it seemed, he proposed out of panic, not excitement. Panic, triggered by Kite's sudden reappearance and his spontaneous will to give their relationship another chance. Fear, of losing her to someone else, seemed to have prompted the sudden, unexpected proposal. She was blindsided by it and didn't know how to respond. So she'd simply been honest, despite the pain it's caused them both, the pain it would take awhile to recover from.

An hour later, Scotty was back from the gym and they were all dressed and on their way to visit Scotty's parents. She'd almost forgotten she and Scotty had agreed to spend the Saturday with his parents. A message from Rosa on the answering machine that morning had sent her running to the bathroom to get ready before sending Scotty a reminder text message, and getting the kids ready. She'd been so busy getting herself, and everyone else ready to leave on time, she'd forgotten she was nervous about meeting Scotty's parents. Not that she hadn't met them before; she had, on several occasions. A couple of times when they were only partners, once or twice when Lilly began to take care of Alexia, and after she and Scotty had moved in together, and, of course, when Erick was born. But somehow, now it felt more official. Maybe because she was meeting them as their grandson's mother, and Scotty's… well, she didn't know what to call herself. His mistress, girlfriend, baby mama,…

And just like that, everything from last night came flooding back, held together by the guilt that hammered in her conscious. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Scotty glancing at her every few seconds, although he said nothing. Finally, he reached over to caress her hand as he asked, "Are you okay?"

"Why do you ask?"

"You look… I don't know, worried? Nervous?"

"A little." She confesses quietly, twisting the strap of the handbag in her lap.

"You know my parents love you. Especially my mom. She keeps nagging me when we're going to…" His voice trails off, into an uncomfortable silence as they each finish his sentence in their thoughts. "…get married."

After a few minutes he says, "You have nothing to worry about. You look beautiful and they already love you."

With those last words, he pulls into his parent's driveway. The second he parks the car, and takes the keys out of the ignition, the front door of the house opens as Scotty's parents rush out to greet them.

"It's soo good to see you," Rosa says rushing over to hug Scotty as they get out of the car.

He returns Rosa's hug before she turns to sweep Alexia into a warm embrace as Alexia squeals delightedly, "Abuela!"

Ramiro waits until Rosa moves onto greet Lilly before hugging Scotty and swinging Alexia onto his shoulders.

Rosa gives Lilly a quick hug and kiss on the cheek as she says, "Lilly! You don't come by often enough. It's so good to see you again."

"I'm sorry. We've been so busy…" Lilly begins to say, but Rosa cuts her off before she can finish.

"No need to apologize. I know you're both busy. I'm glad you could come out today."

Lilly turns her attention back to Erick, who's gotten a bit fussy in her arms. She bounces him a bit on her hip, as Rosa kisses her grandson and asks, extending her arms, "May I?"

"Of course," Lilly says handing Erick over to Rosa. He looks back at Lilly a bit nervously, although he seems to relax a bit as she gives him a smile. He turns to his grandmother and gives her a gummy smile after studying her for a few minutes. Rosa laughs and kisses him as she turns to Scotty and says, "He's just like you, when you were a baby, mi hijo."

Scotty's father turns to Lilly and shakes her hand before they all turn back and walk back to the house.


	30. Chapter 30

**Author's note: **I want to thank everyone for their incredible patience throughout this story. I usually only write one-shots or fics that are less than five chapter, but this story was different. It's my first long fanfiction, and was originally intended to be a one shot, but it sort of just developed and I went along with it. Due to a series of unfortunate events, that began with losing my flashdrive a couple weeks ago (which I unfortunately did not have backed up. I know, stupid me...), I haven't updated in awhile, but I'm back. Please, please, please review! 3 reviews I will do my best to post the next chapter soon. Disclaimer always applies. Anyways, read, review, and enjoy! =D

_p.s- _yes, I have learned my lesson about backing up files and I now have several backup copies of all my files...

**Chapter 30 **

Hours later, sometime in the early afternoon, they all sit on the screened-in back porch, talking and laughing as Rosa and Ramiro shared stories about Scotty's childhood. Alexia is transitioning between running around in the yard versus playing on the play set. Erick is fast asleep, in a suspiciously new looking portable playpen which had been set up next to Scotty's chair. Rosa insisted the playpen had coincidentally been lying around in the attic for awhile, though Lilly suspected Rosa brought it specifically for Erick, since she'd seen that exact same make and model playpen in stores less than a week ago.

It was strange, that despite the fact that she barely knew Scotty's parents, yet after a day, she felt so comfortable with them. Something she hardly ever felt when she was with her mother, especially as she got older. The feeling of home. Like she always imagined family should feel like, act like. Like she was part of a family, like the ones she had envied when she was a child. Rosa and Ramiro had so readily welcomed her into their family, without a second of hesitance. It was one of the best feelings in the world. Something she had longed for, nearly her entire life. To belong somewhere, to hold meaning to someone other than her cats. To love and be loved.

Just as Ramiro was wrapping up another story about Scotty's mischievous childhood behavior, a timer went off somewhere in the distance.

"That's the oven timer. Keep telling the stories, I'll be right back," Rosa says patting Ramiro's arm as she stands up and heads towards the kitchen. Lilly's eyes meet Scotty's over the coffee table for a flickering second before she looks away quickly as she says, "I'll be right back. We're out of lemonade." She flashes Ramiro a smile, avoiding Scotty's gaze as she picks up the pitcher on the coffee table and follows Rosa inside. Scotty watches her disappear inside, out of the corner of his eye, zoning out a bit, his mind wandering to the conversation they'd had the night before. His father's voice snaps him back into reality.

"Scotty… Scotty?"

"What? Sorry, Dad… I kinda zoned out." Scotty says apologetically, returning his attention to his father, trying to forget everything that happened last night.

"I noticed. What's going on Scotty?" Ramiro asks, his voice laced with concern.

"Nothing. Why do you ask?" Scotty responds a little too quickly.

"You and Lilly… You two have been acting strange. It just seems like something going on between you two."

"Nah… I mean, it's nothing major." He pauses for a second, his eyes wandering to Erick's sleeping form in the playpen beside him. He's silent for a moment as he observes his sleeping son. Finally he says "Lil and I… we sort of, had a fight." He pauses again, finally looking back towards his father as he says, "I asked her to marry me… Last night… And she said no."

"What happened?"

"I don't know. I thought we were doing great… But yesterday, we were eating dinner and talking and… everything was fine. We were fine… and then… " He pauses again, before continuing, still trying to make sense of what happened last night. "Lexi told me about a friend of Lilly's who visited yesterday afternoon. An ex boyfriend. Lexi told me. Accidently. Not Lilly… I… I just don't know… I don't know, what to think, what to do…" he rambles agitatedly.

"Did you ask her about it?"

"Not right away. We finished dinner and we took the kids to the park…And she told me everything." He pauses again before saying, "Kite, her ex, was a prosecutor who used to work with us a couple years ago. He switched to the private sector and disappeared for awhile, until he reappeared in court a couple weeks ago when we were testifying against Lloyd."

"The man who held Lilly hostage?" Ramiro asks.

"Yeah. Kite was his defense attorney. He verbally attacked both of us on the stand, yet he showed up on our doorstep yesterday, while I was still at work. It was Lilly's day to leave work early, to spend some time with the kids. Kite showed up, claiming he just wanted to talk. But when she let him in, he started talking about how much he regretted letting her go, how he should have worked harder at their relationship, how he shouldn't have given up, begging for another chance with her. She told him no, asked him to leave and he assaulted her! The creep kissed her! Lexi walked in and saw, which is how I found out."

Ramiro is silent for a minute before he asks, "Does she still have feelings for him?"

"Kite? No, their relationship was a long time ago. She forced him to leave afterwards and she swears she had no feelings for him anymore."

"You sound like you don't believe her," Ramiro comments, observing Scotty's rigid, tense face carefully.

"Of course I believe her."

"But you're jealous."

"That's ridiculous. Why would I be jealous of him?" Scotty says, practically spating in defense.

"I don't know. How did you go from this conversation about the ex, to proposing?"

"Something he said before he left that just bugged me. When she turned him down, he commented that she didn't have a ring, therefore she wasn't married."

"What did she say?"

"She said she didn't need a ring to prove her commitment to someone." He pauses again before saying, "As much as it bugs me, he was right."

"Kite?"

"Yeah. I never gave her a ring. Never asked her to marry me. We never even talked about it."

"So you asked…?"

"And she said she wasn't ready." He pauses again before saying, "It's not that I don't trust her. I do, it's just that… It bugs me… I can't explain it."

Ramiro is silent for a second before he says, "You're scared… scared of losing her, so you proposed."

"We were just sitting in the park, talking. Lexi was on the playground and Erick was playing on a blanket, on the ground next to us. One minute were were talking, the next we looked over and Erick was gone. She panicked… I panicked. He was fine. Just crawled away to a nearby bush. And as we watched, he held onto the bush and pulled himself up. He took his first steps…"

"Erick took his first steps?" Ramiro asked, clearly surprised.

"Yeah. He took a couple steps while holding onto the branch, then he let go and walked around on his own for a minute before he fell down."

"That's when you proposed."

"It just seemed right. Being there, watching her with Erick." Scotty says contemplatively.

"And she said no?"

"She said she wasn't ready. With everything that's happened to her, I've always known taking the next step would be hard but I hoped… I thought we were past all of this." Scotty ends disappointedly.

"You can't rush these kinds of things Scotty. Especially not in this kind of situation. Just give her time. She obviously loves you. You've built a life together. Right now what she needs is support, time, but most of all, she needs your trust. Everyone has moments of jealousy. It's human nature. But until she gives you a reason not to, trust her. Trust in the love, the relationship, the family you've built together. Trust and time will fix anything. And there's no faster way to destroy a relationship than with unnecessary doubt."

"I know," Scotty says thoughtfully.

They're both silent for a moment, until Ramiro finally says, "Small piece of advice, Scotty."

"Sure."

"One of the most important parts of proposing is a ring. Of course, you know Lilly better than I do, but for most, the ring has sentimental value. The rest, the right time, place, and way to propose usually fall into place after you have the ring, because you know her better than anyone. Of course you don't have to get her a ring. Just make sure, the next time you propose, make it special, memorable for her."

Scotty is silent for a second, until Ramiro reaches over and gently clasps his hand over Scotty's.

"It'll be okay Scotty."

"I know. Thanks Dad."

"Anytime."


	31. Chapter 31

**Author's note:** Thank you soo much for your patience, you guys are great! I really do try to update often, but sometimes it just isn't possible. Two part-times jobs, 12 credit hour classes, family & personal drama… plus I was recently promoted to an assistant teacher's position, so my schedule is pretty full. Anyways, I hope you enjoy this chapter! As always, read, please review (please!), and enjoy! Standard disclaimer always applies =D

_p.s_.- As previously stated, I don't know Scotty's parents very well since they weren't on Cold Case very often, but I did my best to portray them accurately, off of the limited information given, and drawing partially from my own experiences with my Hispanic family.

**Chapter 31**

_Meanwhile in the kitchen..._

"We're out of lemonade," Lilly says, walking into the kitchen. As she places the empty pitcher onto the counter, Rosa places a large tray of freshly baked cookies on the cooling rack, on the counter, next to the oven.

"If you don't mind arranging these cookies on the platter, I can make another pitcher." Rosa says removing her oven mitts and placing them on the counter, alongside the cooling rack.

"No problem," Lilly says as she begins to arrange the cookies carefully onto the platter.

They both work in silence for a minute, until Rosa finally asks, "There's something I've been meaning to ask you, but I thought it'd be best to wait until Scotty was out of the room before I said anything. He asked me not to say anything that'd make you uncomfortable, and I know it's probably none of my business… But I think, as a mother, you'll understand where I'm coming from and my concern." She pauses before continuing, "Is there something going on between you and Scotty? I only ask because, well… you seem a little tense. You don't have to tell me anything you don't want to." Rosa adds quickly.

"No, it's okay. I understand. It's nothing to worry about. It's just… We had an argument last night." Lilly says a little deflated.

"What happened?" Rosa asks, turning away from the half made lemonade pitcher, and towards Lilly, who continues to absentmindedly arrange cookies onto the platter.

"The short story? He asked me to marry him and I said I wasn't ready."

"What's the other story?"

"The long complicated version," Lilly says sighing a bit as she finally turns away from the cookies, to meet Rosa's warm concerned eyes, which so closely resemble Scotty's. And before she can stop herself, it all comes pouring out.

"It's been a crazy past couple of months. We've both had a lot going on, with Lloyd's trial and everything. The day we were supposed to testify in court, my ex showed up. In court. As Lloyd's defense attorney." She pauses for a moment before continuing. "He used to work with us, my ex. He was a prosecutor. We only dated for a couple months, but it ended badly. He verbally attacked both of us on the stand. I didn't expect to ever see him again, given the fact that he lost the trial, but yesterday he showed up on our doorstep. He said he just wanted to talk and... I made the mistake of letting him in. At first that's all that happened. He apologized for the way things ended between us and... And then, he started begging for another chance, saying he made a mistake letting me go. I told him to leave and just as I opened the front door for emphasizes, he kissed me. And at that very unfortunate moment, before I could do anything, Lexi walked in and saw everything. And before I had a chance to tell Scotty, Lexi mentioned it to him, in the middle of dinner. We couldn't talk right then because of the kids, but we did, later, when we took the kids to the park. Lexi was on the playground; Erick was playing on a blanket right next to us. I told him everything that happened. I've never seen him so infuriated. I mean, I knew he would be, but I never expected... I mean… I don't know. It's ridiculous of me, expecting him not be upset... but I had to tell him. Even though nothing happened, I knew I had to tell him. I couldn't live with myself if I didn't. I told him everything. Even the snide little comment Kite made before he left." She pauses, taking a breath, as if she's just realized that she's been rambling. After a few breaths, she says, "Before he left, he mentioned that I didn't have a ring, so I obviously wasn't married, therefore not committed. I told him I didn't need ring to prove my commitment to someone. And that stupid… Really got to him. Which is when he proposed. And when I said no, it killed us both a little. He wasn't ready. I'm not ready. It just happened."

Rosa sighs as she says, "I wish I could tell you I'm surprised, but to be honest, this sound exactly like my son. You probably know as well as I do, Scotty is impulsive and many times, emotionally driven, which is what I suspect happened yesterday. I have no doubt you two love each other very much. It's obvious in the way you interact with each other. But I think the problem isn't solely in Scotty's impulsive behavior, which is likely out of jealously. If I'm not mistaken, there is a bigger problem here than Scotty's impulsive, and mildly thoughtless, proposal. Yes, he surprised you, proposing out of jealously, his personal fear of losing you to Kite. But there's something that's holding you back. You strike me as a very confident, out-going person. You don't tend to shy away from things but now, here, for some reason, you hesitate. Like I said before, you don't have to tell me anything. But if you want to, I'm always here to listen. And help, if I can."

For a moment Lilly doesn't' say anything. After a breath, she finally says, "Scotty knows about… my past. But he doesn't know everything. I don't think anyone, besides my sister, really knows everything. And there are things even she doesn't know. Scotty knows, bits and pieces, about as much as I've told anyone. My childhood wasn't the best, and I was kind of a rebellious teenager. I did a lot of stupid things, things that I regret." She pauses again to take another breath before saying, "I was engaged. Twice. Well, technically the first time I wasn't so much engaged as I was borderline married. The first time, his name was Ray. He was my high school sweetheart. We dated for three years, two while we were both still in school and one after we both graduated. It just happened. He just asked, no ring, no planning, no discussion, what so ever and I said yes. We got on his bike and rode to the courthouse in Knoxville, Tennessee. But when we got there, we couldn't do it. We got as far as the street in front of the courthouse. After that, there was no official breakup. He kind of just faded away and I finally stopped drifting and got into the academy. Two years later, I met my fiancée, Patrick. I was a rookie, on the streets, having graduated the academy only a year ago. It was a whirlwind romance. We only dated for nine months before he proposed. This time, it happened like it always does on TV. We went out to dinner at a French restaurant. Just as we were finishing dinner, he got down on one knee, holding a small velvet box in his hand. I started crying before he said a word. The second he was done speaking, I said yes. We set the date for the wedding, six months afterwards. Three months later, I had my dress picked out and everything was going according to planned. Until one night, I had to work a double night shift. And when I got home, around five in the morning, I saw him. In our bed. With my sister. We ended, there and then. I refused to let either one of them back into my life. He eventually stopped pursuing me and apologizing." She pauses again, doing her best to hide and fight the tears welling in her eyes, threatening to spill over.

Rosa doesn't say anything as she wraps her into a warm embrace. An embrace so heartfelt, it reminds her of the ones she used to get from her mother when she was younger. Before everything changed. Back when things were good. Before the drinking and the random men started. And for the first time, in a very long time, probably since her early childhood, she lets loose a flood of sorrow she hadn't consciously realized had been building for awhile. A flood of sadness, regret, pain, of bad memories. A flood that had years to build, a flood that was threated the walls that guarded her from pain. The walls crumbled as she sank into Rosa's embrace, letting out a stifled sob. She lost track of the time she stood there, just sobbing on Rosa. When she finally manages to catch her breath again, she pulls away from Rosa slightly embarrassed, wiping tears away from her face.

"I'm sorry. I usually don't do that. I've never done that. I…"

"No need to apologize. We are family. That's what I'm here for. To help in any way I can."

"You have no idea how much that means to me. Thank you." Lilly says wiping her face with a napkin. "We should probably get back out there before they come looking for us."

"When those two start talking, the subject eventually drifts to soccer and Barcelona. They could talk for hours without realizing we are not back yet."

Lilly smiles a bit, recalling Scotty's fondness of Barcelona and soccer. He was counting down the days until Erick was old enough to teach him to play soccer. Rosa pauses for a moment before saying, "Can I just give you a small piece of advice?"

"About Barcelona?" Lilly asks smiling.

"About you. I know, given everything you've been through, this isn't easy for you. But I think of it this way. You can either choose to look at your past as a painful damaging burden, or you can draw strength from it. It's going to take some time, as all things do. Maybe you'll never completely heal from the scars of the past. It's not an easy recovery. But I believe you will get there. And when you do, this will all be a distant memory. Don't rush into anything you're not ready for. And talk to Scotty. I know this seems impossible right now, but you will get through this. And he'll understand. I know my son can be stubborn and heedless sometimes, but he loves you. You, Alexia, and Erick are his world. I've never seen him happier, than in the time he's been with you. You'll make it through this, the two of you, together. You'll have a wonderful future together. There will be bumps in the road, but you'll get there. Together. "

Lilly is silent for a moment until she finally says "You don't know how much…I… Thank you." She embraces Rosa tightly as Rosa returns her embrace lovingly. "And I will," Lilly says pulling away, after a few seconds. "I'll tell him."

"Don't tell him we had this conversation though. He might think I'm interfering."

"I won't. But he loves you, he would never think that." Lilly says.

"I know." Rosa pauses before she says, "You make him happy. You don't know how much that means to me. Just follow your heart."


	32. Chapter 32

**Author's note:**I know I haven't updated for awhile and I'm really, really sorry. Hopefully this extra long chapter will kind of make up for it. This is, by far the longest chapter I have ever written. I had to do a little research on Lilly's childhood for this chapter, but most of it is made up. I did my best to accurately portray what her childhood might have been like. I hope you enjoy this chapter and once again, a million apologies for the wait. Read, and please, please, please review! (Disclaimer always applies)

_p.s.-_ Just so you know, the next chapter is extremely essential, so it probably won't be up for at least two weeks, probably a little longer than that, though I'm sure that by now you guys are used to the wait. Lol. Thanks for reading ! =D

**Chapter 32**

It had been nearly four months since the proposal. Four long, seemingly never ending months. Fortunately, Kite has disappeared from their lives just as quickly as he'd appeared. The issue of the proposal and marriage had faded into the uncomfortable background of their daily lives. But they both knew, it was something that lingered in the back of their minds daily. Sometimes, for the faintest second, she'd catch that look in his eyes. The look he had on his face, that day in the park, when she'd said no. It usually disappeared just as fast as it'd appeared. It was… the huge pink elephant in the room, the one that neither one of them was willing to talk about.

Fortunately work had kept them fairly busy. They'd been working three cases at a time for months, sometimes even more. Things had finally slowed down a bit, about a week ago, so they'd decided to take some time off to spend with the kids.

Now, as she sat inside her parked car, in the driveway, she leaned her head back against the headrest and took a long deep breath. Closing her eyes for a second, she attempts, in vain, to clear her head of all thoughts, especially everything that happened in the past few months.

When she finally opens her eyes again, she notices the house. It's dark. It's ten pm. Scotty and the kids were probably asleep. She should have been home hours ago. In fact, the last time she'd come home this late was before Alexia. She must have been out there for awhile. Before she knew it, Scotty was opening the passenger door and getting inside the car.

"Hey."

"Hey."

"You've been out here for awhile. Everything okay?" he asks.

"Yeah. I just lost track of the time."

"You coming in? I saved dinner for you."

"Yeah. I'm sorry, I know it's late. I got caught up with some things at work," she says grabbing her bag and getting out of the car.

"I know how it is," he says, following her inside the house. She drops her things by the front door as she asks, "The kids?"

"Fed, bathed, and fast asleep," He says closing the front door quietly.

"No wonder it's so quiet." She remarks, walking towards the kitchen. "Dinner?"

"The kids wanted four-cheese macaroni casserole, and I didn't have time to make us a separate meal so…"

"I love your macaroni casserole," she says turning to face him just before she reaches the kitchen. He gives her a quick kiss before covering her eyes with his hands and turning her around.

"What are you doing?" She asks as they both take a couple steps forward.

"Happy birthday," he whispers into her ear as he uncovers her eyes.

Her breath catches, slightly, barley audibly, as she takes in the scene before her. The kitchen counter is set up with an enormous vase of red-violet and cream colored orchids, one of her favorites. A bottle of white wine, candles lit everywhere, scattered around the kitchen. Dinner set up for two. When she finally manages to find her voice, she says softly, "I… I completely forgot… I…"

"… It was your birthday," he says finishing her sentence. He pauses before adding, "I had different plans. I had a whole weekend planned… a weekend alone, just the two of us, but things didn't work out as planned…" His voice trails off as she kisses him. When they finally break apart for air, she looks into his eyes as she says, "I love you. So much."

"I love you," He says kissing her before they both turn towards the counter. She sits down, as he uncorks the bottle of wine and pours each of them a glass.

"I'm glad one of us is a good cook," she says smiling in between bites.

"I'm surprised it turned out so good, considering Lexi helped with dinner." He says handing her a glass of wine as he sits. "I had quite a time convincing her to stick to the recipe instead of innovating to a marshmallow macaroni casserole."

"Still stuck on the 'M' obsession?" she asks.

"I've tried everything but nothing seems to work. Somehow I managed to convince her that macaroni was enough 'M' for today."

"In a week or two, she'll have a new obsession. Apparently it's a phase." Lilly comments, taking a sip of wine.

"As long as it's not anything glittery. I had a hell of a time getting that stuff out of my hair the last time she made a glitter painting."

She laughs a bit, before she asking, "Erick?"

"Had a quick nap, earlier in the afternoon, almost right after I got home. Apparently he refused to sleep the entire day and was irritable. On the bright side, his late nap gave Lexi and I time to make dinner." He pauses before asking, "How was work?"

She filled him in on the happenings at work for the last few hours as they ate. Afterwards as they both clean up the dishes, she asks, "So this was my birthday present?"

"Part of it," he says coyly.

"What's the other part?" She asks, putting the last of the clean dishes away in the cupboard.

"If I told you, it wouldn't be a surprise," he says, taking the dishtowel before handing her the unfinished glass of wine. Picking up his own glass, he follows her outside to the patio. They sit on the couch, in silence, for a few minutes. And for a moment, it feels like it used to. Almost as if Kite and the proposal hadn't happened. Sitting here, with him, it's... Easy. Effortless. Simple. Just them, outside, in the moonlight.

She leans her head against his shoulder. He's silent for another moment before he says, "I've been thinking a lot… Over the past months and … I'm sorry. For everything that's happened. The whole Kite situation." He pauses before saying, "I was being stupid, selfish, and immature. I never should have doubted you. I shouldn't have put you in that position. And while I know that I'm sorry will never be enough, all I can do now is promise that I will never doubt you again. I will spend the rest of my life trying to make it up to you."

For a few moments, she's silent. She doesn't say a word. Seconds later, he feels a slight tremor. She's shaking, softly. He feels something splash onto his hand. Rain? Tears. She's crying. Almost immediately, he sits up. He looks at her, as she tries to hide her face, but he notices the continuing flow of tears, flowing freely from her eyes.

"What's wrong?" He asks, alarmed, fear and concern edging in his voice. He takes her hand into his, stoking it softly. His touch is the final piece that sends her over the edge. She can't speak. Words evade her. He pulls her in close, merely holding her, allowing her to cry, wiping away tears away with traces of his fingers.

Finally, she says, "I'm the one… I'm the one who should be apologizing… This was my fault." She's able to collect herself a bit as she sits up, pulling away from him.

He listens, as his heart fills with dread, anticipating the words he thinks she's going to say. Thoughts swirl in his head and he fears the worst has finally come true. She still had feelings for Kite, or worse, she's going to leave him for Kite. But the words he hears next are nowhere near anything he'd ever imagined.

"I haven't been completely honest with you. About my past. I've never really told anyone because… I didn't want anyone to know. I wanted to tell you. I really did but… I didn't know how. But I want to… I need to tell you everything. Because you think this is your fault when I'm the one who hasn't been honest with you." She pauses again before saying. "I told you once, my childhood was difficult. You once asked me if I could remember a good time with my mom. I didn't answer but the truth is I can. They were few and far, but there were good times. We were happy, when I was little. It was just the three of us. My father was an electrician. My mom was a waitress. I stayed with a neighbor during the day, while my parents worked. The afternoons, when they came home, were the highlight of my day. My mom brought leftovers from the restaurant home for dinner. My father would take me to the park, after dinner. We'd stay until it was completely dark. My mom read to me. Every night. My favorite was the 'The Velveteen Rabbit'. Everything changed, when my mom was laid off. The restaurant closed. My father began to work double shifts and overtimes to make financial ends meet. My mom looked for another job, at first. But she couldn't find one. About a year later, Chris was born. But then she just gave up. She started drinking. My father worked all the time. When he came home, he took care of my mom and Chris. I tried to help. I was barley five. And the drinking kept getting worse. It started with a beer or two and turned into a half a dozen bottles or so. Soon, my father grew tired of it. One day, he just left. I was seven. Chris was three. My mom was finally forced to find a job. We moved. To Kensington. She found a job, waitressing, in the neighborhood. She'd leave before the crack of dawn. I take Chris to the neighbor's house before I left for school. I'd pick her up afterschool and we'd wait for mom to come home. She usually came home around six or seven. There were days she'd come home, completely sober. Sometimes she'd bring pizza or some kind of take-out home for dinner. Sometimes she'd come home a little buzzed. Those days she'd usually forget dinner. Chris and I had cereal, or whatever we could find. Sometimes, she'd come home really late. Usually completely drunk and with the stranger of the week. I didn't sleep much on those nights. I mostly stayed up, watching Chris as she slept. Those nights usually ended in drunken unconsciousness for my mom or a screaming match with the stranger. I usually had to wake her in the morning, the next day, so she could go to work. There would be weeks, sometimes months when everything seemed to get better. She'd stop drinking, be stone cold sober. For awhile. But it was just a matter of time before it began again. And the next time was always worse than the time before. Then the assault happened. I was ten. My mom sent me out to buy her some more vodka. He attacked me, on my way back from the store. He took the money, the vodka. And all I could think of, the entire time he was beating me, when I was fighting back… All I could think of was… Was that my mom was going to be pissed I didn't have her vodka. Shortly after I got out the hospital, I met Ray. He was my escape. No one knew, about my mom. Not anything detailed, at least. I wouldn't tell anyone. But Ray insisted. Still I didn't say anything. One day, my secret got out. He found out the truth. He showed up on my front doorstep early in the morning, before school. My mom was in her drunken unconscious state. I was rushing Chris out of the door, because I needed to get to school early to finish some work. I'd left the door open because I still needed to get my backpack from inside. He was standing, on the doorstep. He offered to get it for me and before I could stop him, he was in the doorway. And he saw her. She was passed out on the couch, surrounded by empty bottles. He didn't say a word as he grabbed my backpack off of the floor and shut the door quietly. We dropped Chris off at the neighbors and walked to school in silence. He didn't ask and I didn't offer an explanation. After school, he was waiting for me, beside my locker. We talked as if nothing had happened that morning. He walked home with me and we took Chris to the park. Then he told me his father had been an alcoholic before he walked out. He promised not to say a word to anyone. He was just a friend, at first. Someone who understood, someone I could talk to. Years passed. Things developed. We started dating in high school. In 11th grade, he brought a motorcycle. We'd go for rides, afterschool, before school, any time we could get away. We were best friends. He was my first love. Senior year, we had no plans for the future, after high school. We talked about a road trip. The day after graduation, we took off for Nashville. We slept in cheep motels. Went sightseeing. It was on of the best times of my life. We'd been in Tennessee for a little over a month. He just asked. One night, out of nowhere. We were walking out of the movie theater. And he asked me to marry him. I didn't stop. I didn't hesitate. I said yes. The next day, we rode to the courthouse. But we couldn't do it. We stayed for another month, but nothing was ever the same. We never talked about it. When we returned to Philly, we just drifted apart. I got my priorities straight and enrolled in the academy. Two years later, I was a rookie, on the streets when I met Patrick. He was the complete opposite of Ray. Grounded, successful. An investment banker. He came from a well-to-do family in Jersey. It was different with him. Better, it seemed. It was almost, love at first sight. With Ray, our relationship was progressive, took years to build. But with Patrick, everything happened so fast. We'd been dating for nine months when he proposed. This time, it seemed so perfect. He proposed with his grandmother's ring, a family heirloom. In the middle of a French restaurant, he got down on one knee and asked me to marry him. And I said yes. After that, everything happened so fast. A few months later, one night, unexpectedly, I had to work a double night shift. And when I got home that morning I saw him. With her. In bed. My sister." She pauses before adding, "I walked away. Walked out and never looked back. I never spoke to Patrick again. At first, he tried. To explain, to apologize. When he finally realized I wouldn't forgive him, he left. Chris… wouldn't give up. She wouldn't stop apologizing, calling, showing up on my doorstep. I couldn't forgive her. I spent… my entire life protecting her, shielding her from the realities. For everything I did for her our entire lives. This was how she thanked me. I couldn't do it anymore. I let go. I gave up my childhood so she could have hers. And for the longest time, I hated her. Hated her carefree, careless character. Because I didn't know how to do that. How to stop caring and worrying and just be. She was the carefree one. And I was… I became this person I didn't recognize. This person who's always planning an emergency exit strategy. And I thought I was over it, I thought... But I'm not. And I'm afraid I might never be. Especially now because it's not just about me anymore. Now it's about Alexia, Erick, and… you. Us. I love you so much and... You don't know how much it killed me to say no when you proposed. But I just kept thinking there is so much more than just me now. There's our kids and this life we've built together. And, I'm just so afraid…"She finishes, tears shining in her eyes, threatening to spill over.

Without a word he pulls her into his arms again. After a few minutes he says, " I was so focused on my own fears… I didn't even consider everything you've been through. I was insensitive and completely thoughtless. Afraid… Afraid that Kite would make you realize that you had options. Options far better than me. Afraid that you would leave me and take the kids with you." He pauses for a moment, stroking the side of her face, running his thumb over the silky softness of her skin as he gradually turns her face, so she's facing him. Her anxious sapphire eyes meet his, as he says, "I'm going to say something... And I just need you to listen." He's tempted to take a selfish leap, but he stops. Stops because he knows that's not what she needs. It would be reliving history. Ignoring his selfish thoughts, he says the words she needs to hear. Words that come from an innermost place in his heart.

"I need you to hear me when I say this. I know this isn't easy for you. It never has been. But you have been there for me, in some of my hardest times. In times when I wasn't sure if I was going to make it. You were there. And not matter what may have happened in the past, no matter what may happen in the future, you are not alone. You don't have to do this alone. We are doing this. Together. I'm not going anywhere. Because I love you. And I'm here to stay."

A tear slips from her eye, streaking down her face as she smiles and says, "Ditto."

A smile breaks out over his own face as they both break out in laughter. It's a melodious sound, a kind of laughter they haven't had in months. And just like that, it happens. The tension they'd been living in for the past few months seems to just vanish. It's like an enormous weight has suddenly been lifted off of their shoulders and replaced by a refreshing touch of a cool breeze. And laughter. And everything is finally right again.


	33. Chapter 33

_Author's Note:_ I know it's been awhile and my profuse apologize probably hold no meaning for most of you anymore. I sincerely thank those of you who've stuck around and continued reading. This chapter was probably one of the most challenging pieces I've ever written, mostly because I tend to write from my experiences and a crucial part of this chapter is something I have yet to experience. Since I don't want to spoil anything, you'll have to read the chapter to find out what I'm talking about. Anyways, the standard disclaimer always applies. Please, please, please, review! 333333 reviews!

**Chapter 33 **

Two am and two hours later. Everything and everyone was silent. Everyone was asleep. Except him. His mind filled with endlessly swirling thoughts, refused to allow him sleep.

Lilly had fallen asleep hours ago, shortly after their conversation. It was as if the sheer intensity of the past and her fears had been weighing on her so heavily, and at last, she felt relief and freedom, and the will to sleep peacefully. He stayed in bed for hours, staring at the ceiling, watching the moonlight seep into the room through the sky panel. Shadows drift around the room, seemingly dancing over the walls. At last, when he can't stand to stay still for another second, he creeps out of bed, slowly and quietly, to avoid waking anyone. Wandering around the house, he stops to check on the kids before wandering downstairs, ending up in the kitchen. He opens the refrigerator and cupboards aimlessly, just to give himself something to do. Finally, he ends up in the living room, the TV on, flicking through channels, searching for something to distract his mind. He sits there for, what feels like the longest time, just staring at the TV screen, not really paying attention to whatever is on the screen. After awhile, when it seems as if his mind is finally starting to settle, he turns off the TV before heading back upstairs. But once he's back in bed, he's right back where he started. Fully awake, thoughts whirling in his head again, refusing to allow him to sleep. Once again, he simply lies in bed, while everyone around him sleeps. But this time, instead of trying to silence his thoughts, he allows them to roam freely, drifting into one another. He turns to look at Lilly, still sleeping soundly beside him. The last time he remembered seeing her so peaceful was the night Erick was born. He'd bribed the nurses in intensive care to let him upstairs into the maternity ward to see her. When he got to her room, she was asleep. Completely exhausted, yet blissfully content. Peaceful. He sat with her, all night, holding her hand as she slept. It was one of the happiest moments of their lives.

Now, looking at her as the shadows continue drift around the room, she looks as serene as she did that night. Rays of moonlight illuminate her face, seemingly highlighting stands of her silky flaxen hair. The only sound that can be heard around them is the soft sounds of her breathing, her chest rising and falling with each breath. Gradually, his thoughts begin to quiet and cease their insentient noise as he watches her sleep. Though plagued with exhaustion and his own desire for sleep, in that moment, he's simply content to watch her sleep. Watching the peace that has finally reached her, after so long. The peace that she longed for, sought out. Though part of him wishes the path to peace could have been quicker, less painful, part of him knows, it's better this way. She wasn't pushed to this state. She reached it on her own terms, in her own time, when she felt ready, though the wait mildly frustrated him, at times. The past and her fears seemed to finally be at rest. It's all he ever wanted, though he hadn't known it for a long time. She was all he ever wanted. It seemed impossible, a distant dream, yet here she was, lying next to him. She was his happiness. His reason for living, for breathing. Her and this life they'd formed together, still slightly unbelievable in his mind. His thoughts dwindle and fall, like fall leaves falling from the trees. He can't identify what, but something clicks. A final piece of the puzzle. And he realizes, everything is complete. He doesn't need plans. Everything that seemed so crucial before, minutes ago, no longer mattered. Any problems and 'what if's' no longer hold meaning or importance. Because here, in this moment, he has everything he's ever needed. It all makes sense now. Without a second thought, he sits up in bed, his heart racing, mind pounding at this realization, as he gently shakes her arm to wake her. "Lilly... Lilly, wake up."

Nearly, instantly, she's up, her voice slightly panicked as she asks, "What's wrong? Is it the kids? Are the kids okay?"

"No... I mean, yes, the kids are okay. Everything's fine."

She glares at him through sleepy eyes as she groans, sinking back onto her pillow, as she says, "Scotty, it's three in the morning."

"I know… I know but ... This is really important," He says, trying to steady his breathing.

She sighs as she says, "What could possibly be so important that it can't wait until morning, or at least until daylight?"

"Lilly… I need to say something. And I know my timing is horrible but… I… I just need you to listen… without interrupting."

"Okay," she says slightly hesitantly, eying him warily as she sits up, trying to ignore the slight uneasiness inside her. He closes his eyes, taking a slow deep breath, trying to calm his nerves, in order to regain the ability to form complete, coherent sentences. He can't understand why on earth he feels so nervous. It's not as if he's talking to some stranger. This is Lilly. His Lilly. This should be as easy as breathing. Yet he can hear his heart pounding in his ears and he can't seem to remember how to breathe. Finally he says, "I had so many plans. For this weekend. For the future. I've always been a subconscious planner, when it comes to the important things. I was raised in a traditional household with a relatively sheltered life. Traditional values and beliefs. Raised to believe life, things in life, should be a certain way. To believe in fairytales, I guess you could say. It sounds stupid, but for the longest time that was my reality. Dating before a long term relationship. A long term relationship before a committed relationship. A committed relationship before an engagement. An engagement before marriage. Marriage before kids. A house with a white picket fence, a dog, 2.5 kids, whatever that means. When I met Elisa, I thought she was the beginning. My one. But everything changed when she got sick. Elisa… Elisa's death taught me about…About truth and the fallacy of fairytales. When she died, I didn't think I'd survive without her. I went through a rough patch, to say the least. I did some unbelievably stupid things. It took me awhile to realize that anything and everything, I'd ever needed… Everything I'd ever wanted was right in front of me. When I first met you… They used to call you Homicide Barbie. And to be honest that's what I thought of you. The unit was a prerequisite for something better, and you were just the hot blonde," he says, grinning a bit, as she glares at him, even though, in her heart, she knows he doesn't mean it anymore. "In the beginning of our partnership, I'm pretty sure you hated me. I was an arrogant, know it all, pain in the ass. I was so wrong about so many things. The unit. You. Especially you. The longer we worked together, the more I got to know you, the more I began to realize how wrong I'd been. There was so much more than what I thought. Somewhere along the years you became more than my partner. You became my best friend and the one person I couldn't live without. And somewhere along the way, I fell in love with you. What we have now, the life, our life… Our family is better than anything I could have imagined. You make me want to be better, to try. Because you put your heart and soul into everything you do. Because you've been through so much and you still have hope. You still believe. You think you're broken but I think you are the strongest person I've ever known because you've never stopped fighting. And I love you. I love your spirit, your determination, your passion. I love everything about you. You complete a part of me I didn't know I was missing. I can't and I don't ever want to live without you. Because everything I thought I needed, everything I thought I wanted… I don't need or want anymore. All I need is you and our kids. This life… The life we have, together, here and now… is all I need." He pauses, taking a breath before adding. "What I'm trying to say… Life has taught me that the world, people may not be traditional. And maybe absolute certainty doesn't exist. But I am certain of one thing. I am in love with you, my partner and best friend. I don't need tradition. Because I have you. You are everything I need." He pauses again, this time reaching into his pocket to pull out a small velvet bag, which he clasps in the palm of his hand before continuing. "Lilly, I wish words were enough to express just how I feel about you and how much I love you. And before I say this, I want you to know that no matter what you decide, it won't change anything for us. I'm in this relationship 100%, for life. Forever. Nothing you could ever do or say could ever make me stop loving you. I can't guarantee a lot of things. I can't guarantee perfection. I can't guarantee that I won't occasionally, and probably, unintentionally do something stupid. I can't guarantee I won't ever make you mad. But I can guarantee one thing. I can guarantee that I will love you forever. I believe that with you, I can make it. I believe we can make it. It won't always be easy and it won't always be rose-colored glasses. But I'm choosing hope. I'm choosing to love you for the rest of my life, regardless of what may happen." He pauses again, toying with the velvet bag in his hand for a moment before standing. "Lilly Rush, I love you... So much. And I have never been so sure of anything in my life." He says, pausing to kneel down on one knee. A small, involuntary gasp slips from her lips as tears beginning to well in her eyes, any trace of remaining sleep, completely vanished. He opens the velvet bag, slowly allowing a small circular object to slip into the palm of his hand. His familiar, loving, sincere eyes, meet her tear-filled ones as he hold up something in the rays of the moonlight. The ring sparkles and glistens fiercely in the moonlight and she can no longer hold back her tears. As tears begin streaming down her face, falling freely, he says, "Lilly… Marry me."

For a moment, she can't form words. Emotions completely overwhelm her, washing over her like a tsunami wave, and she can't even remember how to breathe.

He interprets her silence and tears as a pending negative response and begins to mentally prepare himself for the possibility of rejection. He's so preoccupied on mentally preparing himself for the worst case scenario; he almost misses her whispered answer.

"Yes," she says, her voice trembling, barley surpassing a whisper. Her eyes sparkle, smiling, radiating a pure happiness he's never seen, confirming her whispered response. But he cannot seem to wrap his head around her answer. He wants to scream, to laugh, to kiss her, so much. But he needs to be sure of her answer. He needs to be sure he's not dreaming. He needs to hear her say it again. "What did you say?"

"Yes," She says, her eyes shimmering even brighter as a slow smile spread across her face. "Yes, I'll marry you."

The overwhelming excitement bubbling inside him is further fueled by her words and ardent gaze. Wrapped up in his own exhilaration, he sweeps her of the bed and into his arms as he begins to laugh. The sweet sound of laughter fills the room as she begins to laugh with him. He spins her around the room until he's lightheaded. He collapses onto the bed, with her still in his arms. As their laughter slowly dies down, he remembers he still has the ring. Their eyes meet as he takes her hand into his, his finger softly caressing the silkiness of her skin, as he slowly guides the ring onto her finger. In that single moment, nothing else matter. The world around them is silent and dark, completely oblivious to their overwhelming exhilarated happiness. Her breathing is simultaneous with his, as his hand continues to caress her fingers, the back of her hand, relishing every single second of their moment. His lips brush over hers, softly, barely touching at first, but quickly deepening. The kiss is gentle, yet insanely passionate and desiring. It feels so natural, yet like nothing either one of them had ever experienced before. She kisses him back, just as affectionately, running her hand along his face. His hands wander down to the straps of her tank top, his lips momentarily leaving hers as he mumbles, "We're getting married."

"We are getting married," she says smiling brilliantly, kissing him again.

_P.S- _FYI, the challenging part of this chapter I was talking about before was the proposal scene, which is basically the whole chapter…


	34. Chapter 34

**Author's Note: **A millions apologizes this chapter took forever… Thank you for those of you who are still reading, favoring, and reviewing. I love reading your reviews! Standard disclaimer always applies, unfortunately I do not own Cold Case. If I did, they'd still be on T.V. Anyways, thank you for reading and please, please, please review! Think of it this way… reviews are air (thus meaning of the utmost essence)

_P.S. Also a huge thank you to Pandora and ITunes! Without them, my writing probably wouldn't be possible_

**Chapter 34 **

Eight months. Eights months, two weeks, and two days. It still felt like yesterday. Like a dream.

Waking up every morning… was like breathing for the first time. She'd been living through short gasps of air, inhaling only enough to barley survive. She had been surviving. And now, for the first time, she was living. The grass was greener, the world, brighter, somehow. Everything was different. New.

Every morning, waking up, she couldn't believe it was real. It couldn't be real. It was a bubble, a fantasy. Something so realistic, it lingered at the edge of her fingertips, just barely out of reach. Because this wasn't her kind of thing. These kinds of things, good things, they didn't happen to her. She was the queen of pretend optimism, living under a cloud of persistent disaster. Something dark was always looming in her peripheral vision and try as she might, she could never avoid it.

This couldn't possibly be real.

A beautiful dream, her conscious whispered, every morning when she woke, in the moment before she opened her eyes. Every morning, she'd lie in bed for a few extra minutes, fully awake, yet unwilling to open her eyes. Because when she did, everything would end. The dream, its surrounding beauty would burst. Like a bubble landing on a surface. And she couldn't bear to watch her beautiful dream bubble burst.

But in that moment, with her eyes still closed, something would catch her attention. A wisp of warm breath from someone beside her. A soft kiss. The touch of a tiny pair of hands. And when she opened her eyes, she realized… It was real. It wasn't a dream. This was her reality, as real and true as her every breath. Scotty, Alexia, and Erick. Everything she'd ever known to be true had changed and she'd never been happier. They had changed. That morning, something, besides the obvious, had changed in her relationship with Scotty. Something in his eyes, his smile. Life went on. But they were different. Time didn't slow down, and there were days when their schedules didn't allow for more than conversations about work, the kids, or a quick morning or goodbye kiss. Before, this would have undoubtedly cause significant strain in their relationship, eventually boiling over into a nasty argument. Now, it was different. Of course, they still had minor disagreements, but nothing like before. It was as if words and everything else had been replaced in their relationship. Words were an added bonus, no longer an absolute necessity. They'd developed a new method of communication, based solely on eye contact. It was something she'd never experienced before. Although she had communicated through looks before, in previous relationships, the depth, the intensity, the level of communication that she had with Scotty, with mere glances was astounding. Breathtaking even. With anyone else, the communication through looks consisted of mostly one topic. 'Sex'. But with Scotty... They could have entire conversations through quick glances. This was all so foreign to her, such an intense high. Sometimes she felt as if she couldn't breathe. The best rush of adrenaline she'd ever experienced. Scotty. The key. He was the key.

Every day, at least once a day, she'd catch herself daydreaming and staring at the ring, now a fixture on her left hand. She wasn't the kind of person to obsess over jewelry. She had a couple pairs of nice earrings, but that was the extent of her jewelry collection. She didn't see the need for bracelets, necklaces, or other such things. She never even considered what kind of ring she'd like, because she didn't know much about jewelry, much less rings. But this… This wasn't just any ordinary diamond solitaire engagement ring. If she had an ideal ring, this would be it. When she'd finally gotten a clear look at the ring, in the daylight, later that morning when she woke up, she was speechless, and slightly breathless. She knew it was a beautiful, carefully selected ring, knowing Scotty. He was very traditional, especially when it came to the 'important things' as he called them, but this… She wasn't expecting this. It was unlike anything she'd ever seen before. A 1 caret centered diamond ring, held by six prongs, surrounded by sculptured rose petals, which surrounded the centered diamond. The white gold band of the ring had a twisted sculptured vine design, with seven small sculptured lilies, around the band, each with its own centered jewel. A brilliant lilac amethyst jewel, a bright turquoise apatite, a golden citrine, an emerald, a champagne topaz, a rich midnight blue sapphire, and a scarlet ruby. The ring was undoubtedly a very expensive custom design that had required a lot of thought and time. But, after she gotten over the tears and initial shock, she didn't understand one thing. Why seven lilies? What was so special about the number seven? Then it occurred to her. They'd been partners and best friends, known each other platonically for seven years. Seven years they'd fought a losing battle, fought and denied each other. Seven years before Alexia brightened and changed their world. The ring she now wore on her finger was a brilliant reminder of everything, every day that they'd been through and a bright hope for the future. Their future. She'd never been so sure of anything in her life.

Rummaging through the closet, all of a sudden, something on the top shelf catches her eye, causing her to pause for a moment. She stands, frozen for a second before reaching for the box, pulling it off the shelf, whatever she was searching for a minute ago, long gone from her mind. Setting the box on top of the bed, she can't seem to tear her eyes off the box. Though unmarked and sealed, she knows exactly what's inside. She pauses for a second, before beginning to peel the tape off the box. Crumpling the tape before tossing it into the waste bin, she hesitates again before reaching to open the box, all the while mentally preparing herself for a rush of memories. She remembers everything, so vividly. She remembers… packing this box. All those years ago. She packed this box with the help of a couple bottles of tequila. Everything and anything that reminded her of Patrick went straight in the trash. But those two things, the album and dress, she couldn't… So they went in the box. The things that she hadn't been able to throw into the trash. As she pulls open the box, the first thing she sees is a large maroon album. She doesn't need to open the album to know what's inside. The first ¼ is pictures of her and Patrick during happier times. The rest is lists, fabric and color samples, plans for the wedding that never happened. She opens the album anyways, flipping through it slowly. Setting it aside, she reaches for the next item in the box, pulling it out slowly. A clear garment bag with a wedding dress. A dress that cost over 10,000 dollars that had been sitting atop her closet for more than half a decade. He brought her a dress that cost over 10,000. He gave her everything she ever wanted. Except love. Love, a family, and happiness were things he couldn't give her, things his checkbook couldn't buy. He didn't love. He never loved her. Yet, she couldn't get rid of the dress. The dress was a reminder of, what she thought was, the best thing that ever happened to her. Maybe it was the best thing that happened, in the past. But here and now…The best thing that had ever happened to her was Alexia. She was the start of everything good in her life. The catalyst that set everything in motion.

Running her finger over the embroidery and exquisite detail of the dress, she fingers it lightly for a few minutes before placing it back in the garment bag. Folding the dress back into the box, she places the album on top of the dress and closes the box. Box in hand, she walks out to the living room and as she set the box by the front door, the doorbell rings. Pushing the box aside a bit, she peers into the peephole before opening the door.

Kat looks at her expectantly as she asks, "Are you ready?"

"For….?" Lilly says, trying figure out why Kat is on her front doorstep in the late afternoon.

"Girls' night? Scheduled it a month ago. Remember?" Kat says as Lilly steps aside to let her in.

"Oh…. I completely forgot…"Lilly says groaning quietly.

Sighing exasperatedly, Kat says, "I programmed it into your calendar myself."

"I know. I know. Erick got into my phone last week he erased half of everything I had on my phone."

"Your phone doesn't have a lock?"

"It does. He still got in somehow. He must have seen me unlock the phone or something."

"Or he just figured it out. Both of his parents are detectives," Kat remarks.

"He seems to have a combined sense of both of our intuitions, which, as you can imagine, is hard to combat," Lilly says pausing to face Kat. "I can change and be ready to go in a few minutes if you don't mind waiting."

"I'm gonna raid your fridge while I wait," Kat says, "I didn't have a chance to grab lunch today and I'm starving."

"In that case, I hope you like Goldfish and apple juice," Lilly calls out as she heads towards the bedroom.

"As long as it's food," Kat remarks, heading towards the kitchen.

Lilly smiles to herself, heading back into the bedroom closet, rummaging for something a little more causal. She finally pulls out a slim sleeveless burgundy dress that she'd completely forgotten about and hadn't worn in years. She slips on the dress, relived to find it still fits. A quick brush through her hair and a swipe of makeup and she's ready to go. Grabbing her clutch off the bed, she leaves the room. As she walks down the hall towards the living room, she pauses and slows her stride a bit at the sight of Kat rummaging through the box. Kat turns to meet her gaze as she reaches the living room.

"I didn't mean to pry… But in my defense, the box was open and practically sitting in the doorway." Kat says after a second.

"I know. It's not your fault. I left it by the doorway so I'd remember to take it out with the trash." She pauses as her eyes meet Kat's, the box still settled between them on the floor. Her eyes shift away from Kat's to avoid the intensity of her seemingly knowing gaze.

"What's wrong?" Kat says without removing her eyes from Lilly.

"The box…. It's Patrick." Is all she manages to say, yet Kat seems to comprehend exactly what she means.

"Oh…" Kat says quietly. Silence encompasses them for a few seconds before Kat wordlessly extends her arms out to pull Lilly into a gentle embrace.

The two embrace for a minute, in silence. When they finally pull apart, Lilly says, "I'm okay… It was a long time ago." She pauses before adding, "For years, I couldn't so much as think about the box without getting emotional. Patrick… I thought Patrick was… He wasn't what I thought he was… And no matter how much I tried to deny it, it hurt. So much… And today I found the box, at the top of the closet. I was looking for something and there it was. The box, at the top of the closet. When I saw it, I knew. The day I packed that box, I threw everything away, except the two things I put into the box. When I was done, I didn't want any reminders. I sealed the box and put it on top of the shelf and I completely forgot about it. But today, when I saw the box, I knew. I knew exactly what was inside. I didn't need to open the box to see what was inside. But I opened it anyways. It all came back. The memories. The hurt. But the pain… The hurt…. It's there; but… it's like an old scar. Barley there. I remember everything. But… It's almost not there anymore. The album, the dress. Before I couldn't look at the dress, but I couldn't throw it away either. Ten thousand dollars. It cost over ten thousand dollars. He gave me everything I could have ever wanted. But he didn't love me. Not really. It hurt so much… With Scotty, I was so afraid to take the next step. I don't think I'd survive if… And this time, it's not just about me. It's about Alexia and Erick. What would become of us if this, what Scotty and I have… What would happen if it broke? What we have, is something I've never had before. I've always felt like I'm walking on eggshells, waiting for the inevitable disaster. But I never felt that was with Scotty. And we're not perfect, we argue, we have our disagreements. But I've never doubted the way he feels about me. Because when he looks at me, with one glance he says everything without words. Us, our relationship…. It's working. I didn't understand why we would we fix something that isn't broken. We're not broken. And I thought it would be best if we stayed like this. Because before, even the slightest sliver of instability, would cause everything to crumble. But I was wrong. Scotty… With everyone else, there was always the straw that broke the camel's back. It's different with him. He is different. And I can't say I'm not scared. Because I am. I don't know if I'll ever stop being scared. At this point, I think fear is a tiny part of who I am. I don't know if I can every change that. But he… I don't think I can describe it." She pauses, taking a breath before adding, "When he proposed… The night before, I told him everything. Everything I'd always been afraid to tell everyone else. It never felt right with anyone else. But when I got home that night, he made dinner. Nothing fancy, just a macaroni casserole. We talked and he told me about the kids' afternoon. And I just knew. I knew I could tell him. So I did. He didn't say much. But the touch of his hand, his arms wrapping around me, was everything I needed. He didn't know what to say, but he knew what I needed. When he proposed… Two am, the next morning. When he woke me, and started babbling, I didn't understand what he was talking about. But he said things… And I said yes. Something changed for me, that morning. I was listening to him and I knew. I've never wanted anything; I've never been so sure of anything in my life, more than this. I don't need the dress, the flowers, the church. I just need him. Scotty and the kids, they are everything I need." She hesitates again before saying, "Five years ago, I was stuck, barely surviving. The box was a reminder of the dream that had never been. But now… The box is the past. And Scotty… Scotty and the kids, they're the present. The here and now. The future. My life."

They are both silent for a moment, until finally Kat says, taking a loaded breath, "Save something to talk about for later, why don't you?"

One of them begins to laugh and before they know it, they are both laughing so hard, tears streaming down their faces. When they finally stop laughing, Lilly says, "I need a favor."

"Name it."

"I need you to get rid of the box. The trash collectors come on Saturday morning. I don't want to wait until Saturday to get rid of the box."

"I'll put it in the trunk of my car right now." Kat says. Picking up the box, as she turns for the front door, Lilly's hand clasps her arm, eyes meeting hers as she says, "Thank you."

"Don't mention it." Kat says opening the front door. "You ready to go?"

"Just need to grab my phone. I'll be out in a second," Lilly says, heading towards the kitchen. As she disappears from sight, Kat closes the door behind herself. Balancing the box in one arm, she rummages through her pocket until she finds her car keys. Unlocking and popping open the trunk; she pushes the box in as far as it will go. As the trunk clicks shut, a thought occurs to her. And just like that, without a second thought she pulls out her phone, types and sends a quick text to Scotty.

_We need to talk. It's urgent. I have an idea and a box._

_ K._


	35. Chapter 35

**Author's note: **I have absolutely no excuse for the delay in posting this chapter other than life has been beyond hectic. Please, please, please review! I really love reading your reviews! xoxo Happy Thanksgiving! :D

**Chapter 35**

The pitter patter of tiny bare feet against the hardwood floors, the sound of low giggles, and the touch of a tiny hand on her arm wakes her from her deep slumber. Bright sunlight streaming in through the windows, dancing on her closed eyelids feels so good; she doesn't want to open her eyes. And she doesn't. For a minute. But the tiny hand on her arm is persistent. The hand touches the side of her face, lingering for a minute before slowly sliding down towards her jaw. As the hand leaves her face, a series of not-so quite whispers and giggles immediately follow. She recognizes the voices as Alexia and Erick, mostly Alexia's, and the hand as Erick's. In the back of her mind, she wonders where Scotty is. It's the second Saturday of the month, her day to 'sleep in'. He's supposed to take care of the kids while she tries to get an extra hour of sleep. She groans quietly as Erick says persistently, touching her arm again, "Momma wake!"

"Yes baby, Momma's awake," she says forcing her eyes open as she sits up. Sure enough Alexia and Erick are at her bedside, whispering and giggling. Lilly pauses, sitting for a minute before asking, "Where's Daddy?"

Alexia breaks out into giggles as Erick gives her a toothy grin. But before either one of them can say anything, the bedroom door opens and Kat walks in.

"Good, you're up."

"Wait, what are you doing here?" Lilly asks, standing up. Kat pointedly ignores Lilly's question as she walks over to the window, pulling the curtains wide open before cracking a window.

"Lexi?" Lilly asks, turning towards the toddler who continues to giggle, yet dosen't say a word. Erick hides behind Alexia as Lilly shifts her questioning gaze to him.

"Someone want to tell me what's going on?" Lilly says, turning her gaze towards Kat.

Kat turns towards the kids as she says, "Guess who's downstairs guys?"

"Who?" Erick says promptly.

"Poppa. And I hear he has a surprise for you guys." Kat says as both kids cheer and rush out of the room.

As soon as the kids clear out of the room, Lilly turns to Kat.

"Why is the Boss here? And where is Scotty?"

"Boss is here for the kids. Scotty is a bit preoccupied, at the moment," Kat says hustling around the room. She turns and places a mug of warm coffee in Lilly's hand before turning to straighten out the bed.

"Preoccupied with what? Why are my kids going with the Boss?"

"Scotty and Will… are doing something. Boss is taking care of the kids."

"That's not telling me anything," Lilly protests before draining the cup of coffee.

"I can't tell you anything other than it's a surprise. A surprise you'll love, but nonetheless, a surprise." Kat says turning to take the empty mug from Lilly's hand, promptly replacing it with a towel. "First things first, I have to get some thing from my car. In the meantime you should probably get in the shower."

"I'm not going anywhere until you tell me what's going on," Lilly says firmly, standing in place, glaring at Kat.

Kat turns to face Lilly, simultaneously letting out a loaded sigh of frustration before muttering under her breath, "I knew this wasn't going to be easy."

"What?"

"Nothing. Look, do you trust me?"

"Of course I do, but…"

"No 'buts'. Do you trust me or not?"

"Yes. Yes I trust you."

"Okay, then trust me when I tell you it's worth the wait. I promise this will all make sense in a few hours and you'll be glad it was a surprise." Kat pauses before adding, "Now go. We don't have a lot of time."

Lilly eyes her warily before taking the towel and disappearing into the bathroom. Kat sighs before muttering, "I should have volunteered for the kids."

_Meanwhile downstairs…._

The thundering sound of two pairs of feet running down the stairs fills the room seconds before both kids run into the front hall.

"Poppa!" Erick says as he runs towards Stillman, jumping into his outstretched arms. Alexia follows at Erick's heels, promptly hugging the side of Stillman's leg fiercely. Wrapping both kids in his arms, he give them each a kiss before saying, "You guys have gotten so big."

"Poppa, you just saw us yesterday," Alexia says giggling.

"And you've grown so much," He says nuzzling her neck, causing her to giggle a little louder. Erick lets go of Stillman's neck as he asks, with a cheeky hopeful smile, "Candy?"

"In the car. I have a surprise for you guys."

"What is it?" Alexia asks eagerly.

"It's at my house, so what do you say we go for a ride?"

"Yaay!" Both kids cheer as Alexia quickly turns to grab hers and Erick's shoes. After helping the kids with their shoes, taking them by the hand, he walks them out to his car in the driveway. After securing both kids in their car seats, he hands them each an unwrapped Starburst. He adjust his usual news radio to a child friendly radio station before pulling out of the driveway slowly. Soon Alexia is singing along to the songs on the radio, as Erick tries to keep up with her, which proves to be a bit difficult, since he doesn't know most of the words, so he settles for adding random animal sound effects. As he listens to the combination of laughter and singing from his backseat, a smile spreads across his face. He'd defiantly gotten the best part of this surprise preparation.

_On the other side of town…_

As Will pulls into the driveway, he notices the unusual silence that has surrounded them ever since they left the house. After parking the car, he glances over at the passenger's seat. Scotty seemingly unaware of his questioning gaze, continues to stare out the window until Will finally asks, "You okay?"

"What?" Scotty says looking around, finally becoming aware of his surroundings, and the fact that the car has stopped moving. "Yeah. I'm okay."

"You've been strangely quiet since we left your house. Something on your mind?"

He doesn't answer for minute as he stares down at his hands, letting out a long breath before finally saying, "What if she doesn't like it?"

"Are you crazy? She's going to love it."

"What if something goes wrong? I mean what if I got the wrong kind of flowers or she hates the dress, or…."

"Okay stop. Now you're just being ridiculous. You know Lilly's not like that."

"I… I've never done this before. I mean, not just the whole surprise wedding thing but this… Lilly… It's different with her. She's different and… I really want this to be special for her. I need this to be special for her…"

"And it is," Will says cutting him off. "What makes this special isn't the flowers, the decorations, the food, the fancy clothes. Those things, they're just details. The window dressing. What makes this special is the two of you. The fact that the two of you love each other so much and the fact that you've chosen today, to vow, to commit your lives to one another. That's what important here. That's what she's going to remember from this day."

"You're right. I know you're right but… I… I feel like I can't breathe. And I can't help but think, what if…"

"You have years to be concerned about the 'what if's' in life. But for today, concentrate on the here and now. It's one of the happiest days of your life. Breathe and enjoy it. Everything's going to be fine. Wedding jitters are normal."

"Still… I'll feel better when I see her."

"You'll be seeing her soon enough, but not dressed like that," Will says looking at Scotty's disheveled appearance, in jeans and an old faded t-shirt. "Come on. You have to get dressed."

_Back at the house…._

Lilly huffs impatiently, pouting a bit as she shifts in her chair. Kat glares at her as she unplugs the large barrel curling iron before setting it on the counter. She picks up a makeup brush and a case of powder before turning towards Lilly again. Lilly lets out another annoyed huff as Kat sweeps some powder over her face. Kat stops and glares at her before saying, slightly irritated, "Will you hold still!"

"I've been sitting here forever," Lilly complains shifting a bit.

"Well, I'm never going to finish if you don't stop fidgeting and complaining."

"What are you doing? Or better yet, why are you doing it? I want to know what's going on and where everyone is."

"You know where everyone is."

"I have vague locations. Now I'd like to know why."

"You'll know soon."

"I want to know now," Lilly demands stubbornly as Kat sets the powder and brush aside on the counter before reaching for a pair of bobby pins. Without a word, she begins to twist small sections of Lilly's hair and pin them into place, adding a touches of hairspray to hold the final look.

Lilly continues to glares until Kat is finally forced to stand back and confront her icy stare.

"They were right," Kat says shaking her head.

"Who?"

"The guys. You still got it. The ice queen stare. People thought you might have lost you touch."

"What's going on Kat?" Lilly says promptly.

Kat sighs before she says, "Has anyone every told you, you're impossible?"

"I've been called stubborn before, yes." Lilly replies, her ice queen stare melding into a determined gaze as she meets Kat's annoyed expression, before they both burst out laughing.

"I promise, I'll tell you in a second. But first," Kat says turning Lilly around in the chair, so that she's facing the mirror. "Take a look."

Lilly takes a quick glance in the mirror before stopping to observe the image of what she assumes to be her own reflection, which she doesn't recognize.

The women in the mirror can't possibly be her. The woman in the mirror has rich sapphire blue eyes, radiant creamy skin. And her hair... Practically a radiant golden blond, not a strand out of place. It cascades down, framing and accentuating every feature of her face, sweeping down her shoulders in loose soft waves.

Finally Lilly says, "Kat I… I don't know what to say."

"I'll take that as a compliment." Kat says walking back into the room, a floor length blue garment bag in hand. "I got my cosmetology license when I was 17."

"Cosmetology? How'd you go from cosmetology to the police academy?"

"I realized I wanted to do more than just style hair for the rest of my life. It's still a hobby though."

"Speaking of secrets…" Lilly hints without taking her eyes off the mirror, still a bit mesmerized by her own reflection.

"No I'm not going to tell you." Kat answers almost immediately. "But maybe this will give you a clue." Kat says as she lays the garment bag down across the bed.

Lilly pauses for a second, suddenly aware of the loud pounding sound of her heart, ringing in her ears. The next thing she knows, she walking. Taking steps towards the garment bag, all the while knowing exactly what's inside the garment bag. Her mouth is dry, the palms of her hands, cold and clammy. This couldn't possibly be what she thought it was because…. Because these kinds of things just didn't happen. But what else could it be? She pauses for a second when she reaches the bedside, looking at Kat. As Kat gives her an encouraging nod, Lilly reaches for the garment bag. As she slowly begins to unzip the bag, a small gasp escapes her lips.


	36. Chapter 36

**Chapter 36**

Scotty adjusts his tie for, what seems like the hundredth time, as he paces around the room anxiously. The hands of the clock on the wall seemed to be fixed in place, unmoving. Twenty more minutes to go. He wasn't sure he'd last twenty minutes. Taking a long breath, he glances around the room, in an attempt to calm his racing anxiety. The Azalea Room of the Talamore Country Club was decorated impeccably. Normally, it was impossible to get a dinner reservation at the Talmore, let alone a venue, but fortunately the Boss had excellent connections. Hundreds of tiny white lights were strung across the celling of the room. Two rows of five white chairs were set up on either side of a white lined aisle. Two white lily pillars, entwined with sapphire silk were set up on both sides of the altar, a garland of entwined sapphire and cream tulle with tiny entwined white lights created a stunning arch directly above the altar at the front of the room. Bouquets of white lilies, violet blue orchids, and white roses were strung onto the end of the chair rows with white silk. Sapphire and white silk were loosely entwined and hung along the side walls of the room. Significantly less extravagant than the plans that Lilly had for her wedding to Patrick, though he'd decided to incorporate aspects of her ideas here and there. With a lot of Kat's help, they'd created this stunning visual of sapphire, cream, and white. The sapphire was his personal touch. He didn't know anything about wedding planning. But he knew Lilly. He knew that her favorite comfort food was sour gummy worms. She kept various packs hidden around the house and at her desk at work. Her thinking place was on the kids swing set in the backyard, usually after midnight. Sapphire. Her eyes were the color of sapphires. Vibrant, rich, with a depth like the ocean. Though a significant part of the details and plans were based from Lilly's old wedding scrapbook, there were a few extravagant details which didn't seem to be Lilly's taste which were removed. Kat had practically decorated and arranged everything, with the assistance of Scotty's credit cards. The hardest part was choosing a wedding dress. After numerous trips to various bridal shops and a significant amount of internet research on wedding dresses, they were finally able to decide on a dress. He wanted everything to be perfect, for this day, for Lilly. All he could do now was wait and see what she would think, what would happen.

Will and Nick stand a few feet away, watching, slightly unsure of what to do. Will shifts, adjusting the cuffs of his shirt, while Nick fidgets uncomfortably rubbing his neck, mumbling something about a monkey suit. After a few minutes, Nick says, "Shouldn't we do something before he wears a hole into the ground?"

"Hey I already tried. It's your turn," Will answers. Before either one of them can respond, voices and the sound of door opening cause all three men to turn and look towards the back door. Rosa walks in, followed closely by Ramiro, Mike, Alegria, and Emilio. Scotty starts walking towards his family as Emilio pushes through the adults, running towards Scotty, exclaiming "Uncle Scotty!"

"Hey buddy," Scotty says scooping Emilio into his arms. "You made it," he says turning to his family.

"Of course," Rosa says instantly sweeping Scotty into a warm embrace just after Scotty sets Emilio down. "We wouldn't miss this for the world. Congratulations, mi hijo," Rosa says giving him a kiss on the cheek.

"Speaking of congratulations, where is your gorgeous fiancé?" Ramiro says giving Scotty a heartfelt embrace.

"She should be here any second," Scotty says.

Mike grips Scotty's shoulder jokingly as he says, "My baby brother, the ladies' man, getting married. Who would've thought? Where are the flying pigs?"

Alegria smacks Mike's arm lightly before turning to Scotty. "Don't listen to him. This is a special day for you. Enjoy the moment. Lilly is a very lucky woman."

"I'm the lucky one." Scotty responds, pulling his sister-in-law into a half embrace.

"Dammn right, "Mike says, earning another glare from Alegria.

"Kat says she and Lilly are on their way." Will's chimes in, walking towards them, followed closely by Nick.

"Will! Good to see you again." Ramiro says turning to shake Will's hand.

"Ma, Dad, you know Will. And this is Nick, my other work colleague," Scotty says, patting Nick on the shoulder.

"Nick. We've heard so much about you." Rosa says, turning to shake Nick's hand.

"It's nice to finally meet you, Mrs. Valens."

"Oh, please. Call me Rosa."

The back door swings open again as Alexia and Erick run into the room, followed closely by Stillman who holds a clip on tie and suit jacket in one hand and a cream flower basket filled with rose petals in the other hand. Alexia is wearing a golden sparkly dress with cream trim, her blond ringlets held off her face with platinum large butterfly clip. Erick is wearing an outfit similar to his. A crisp midnight blue shirt, or as crisp as it will ever be on an overactive three year old, with black dress pants. Erick runs towards Rosa and Ramiro, as Alexia makes a beeline for Scotty. Scotty catches Alexia, swinging her into the air as she giggles, gripping his neck fiercely as she exclaims "Daddy look! Poppa got me a pretty sparkly dress."

"I noticed. You look beautiful, princess," he says covering her with kisses before setting her down again. He brushes at his suit, now half covered with glitter, as Alexia giggles and says, "Now you're sparkly too, Daddy."

Everyone bursts out laughing, and even he can't help but smile a bit. Just then the back door opens, causing everyone to look towards the back of the room. Kat walks in, wearing a floor-length strapless midnight blue gown, with shimmering silver heels. Nick lets out a low whistle as Kat walks towards them. Kat makes a point of glaring at Nick before turning to the group.

"Hey everyone. Sorry about the delay. Traffic." Kat says to the group before turning to Scotty, "Can I see you for a moment?"

"Sure," He says, before turning to follow her to the door. Kat stops at the door before saying, "Lilly wants to talk to you."

"Something wrong? Is she okay?"

"Everything is fine. God, you're a bucket of nerves. Calm down, she said she just wants to talk."

Scotty glares at Kat suspiciously.

"Go on," Kat says gesturing towards the doors. "I'll wait here."

Scotty pushes open the door and looks around the bright sunlit foyer. Lilly is standing by one of the bay windows, with her back to the door. Closing the door quietly, he takes a minute to take a long look at her, while she's still unaware of his presence. She's wearing a slim, floor-length champagne chiffon gown with silvery white beaded embroidery bodice that trails down to the small of her back and down the sweep train of the dress. As she turns around, she looks even more breathtaking, if possible. Her hair shimmer in the sunlight, looks almost golden as it falls around her face in soft cascading waves, framing her features. Her vibrant eyes, seems brighter, bluer somehow. Their eyes meet and for, what feels like, the longest time, neither one of them can seem to find words to speak. He takes a long, slightly, shaky breath as the knot in his throat finally seems to disappear, as he finds himself walking towards her.

"Hey," he says a little breathlessly, resisting the urge to kiss, to touch her, for fear that she might not be real, that this might all be a dream.

"Hey," she answers, her voice barely above a whisper, as she steps closer, closing the remaining distance between them. For a moment, a tiny sliver of space remains between them. Her warm breath makes his skin crawl and tingle with anticipation and desire, but this moment… This moment is too rare, too precious, too important to rush, to be hasty. His fingers stroke the side of her cheek, barley brushing, while trying to commit everything to memory. He doesn't even want to forget this moment. His other hand begins to stoke her shoulder blade, slowly working down from her upper shoulder to the curve of her waist. Any fears, nerves, he was feeling minutes ago, long gone from his mind and memory. Her smile grows brighter as she wraps her arms loosely around his neck. His lips glide over hers, barley touch at first, until she lets out a soft moan. His resistance finally caves at the sounds she begins to make as he begins to kiss her hungrily, even though he's kissed her a million times before. A million, even infinity, will never be enough. As his hands caress her waist, drawing her in closer, she draws in a sharp intake of breath. Her hand travels to the nape of his neck, as her fingers feather, stroking his hair. Suddenly, he wishes they were completely alone, in the privacy of their bedroom, rather than in the foyer of one of Philadelphia's most prestigious country clubs, so he wouldn't have to reign in the urge to do so much more. Their bodies pressed up against each other's, her back against the wall, only clothing remains between them. Their lips finally separate, only out of the pure need for air. Their breath mingles in the small space between their lips, their breathing rapid, skin flushed. As his lips begin to meet her again, the sound of the door swishing open and closed, causes a slight hesitation, but nonetheless, they both decide to ignore it. A few moments, mere seconds seem to pass, as a voice says behind them, "I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may continue. The rest of us are going out to the reception."

As they reluctantly pull apart and turns towards the voice, they find Kat standing behind them, arms crossed, a half amused, half disapproving look on her face.

"What? I said continue, not stop. The rest of us will be at the open bar."

Lilly smiles as she says, "Can you give us a few seconds, Kat? We'll be right in."

Raising an eyebrow, Kat says, "You need more than a few seconds, you two need to get a room. Don't make me send Alexia in here."

"We'll be in, in a minute," Scotty says, shifting, uncomfortably, as Lilly tries to hide a knowing smile. Kat disappears inside just as Lilly lets out a stifled laugh, moving aside a bit to give him some room.

"I love it that you find humor in my 'situation'," Scotty groans sarcastically, as he begins to adjust his clothing to accommodate an extremely visible problem.

"I would offer to help but I would require more than a few minutes," Lilly says moving towards him, her lips barley brushing over his, teasingly.

"As much as I enjoy it when you do that, in this case, you're really not helping my problem, here," Scotty says, struggling to adjust 'the problem'. As she waits for him, she adjust her dress, which had gotten a bit misplaced in the heat of the moment. As she locates her bouquet of white orchids and lilies by the windowsill, he straightens out his suit, the problem successfully hidden, as he says, "Are you ready?"

She walks over to him, taking his outstretched hand as she says, "I've been ready. Ever since the minute I saw you holding Alexia for the first time. I love you."

"I love you. Forever and always," he says, his eyes sparkling, as his lips capture hers. A sharp, impatient knock on the other side of the door interrupts them. She lets out a laugh as they pull apart, their eyes meeting, as the whole world around, seemingly unimportant, for the briefest of moments, disappears. She grips his arm lovingly as he pushes open the door and they step inside together, to begin the best of new beginnings.


	37. Epilogue

_**Author's note: **__It has been awhile since I've updated and I do sincerely apologize for that. Thing have been crazy… So I guess this is it. I've reached a point where I feel kind of comfortable ending this story. At least for now. Don't worry there will be several mini stories filling in several gaps from Castles in the Sand. I guess you could say I'm making a Castles in the Sand series. This story was supposed a one-shot because I wasn't satisfied with the Cold Case series finale. One chapter turned into two, two turned into five and so on. Somehow this "one shot" ended up being a thirty seven chapter story that I have fallen in love with. I have mixed feelings about ending this story. I feel sad but at the same time, I'm excited to start the series of mini stories for Castles in the Sand. Anyways enjoy this chapter and please, please, please review! Oh and thank you to all the new follows, favorites, and reviews Thanks everyone!_

**Epilogue**

A high pitched shriek followed by pearls of laughter emits from the living room, just before Alexia and Erick run through the kitchen, and outside, onto the patio.

"Alexia Elizabeth, no running in the house," Lilly calls out as she places a bowl of salad in the refrigerator. She pauses for a second by the kitchen sink, watching Alexia and Erick run around the backyard, laughing and shrieking loudly. She cringes a bit as she watches Alexia take a hard fall, scrapping her knee. She fights the urge to run outside and hug Alexia as she contuse to watching from the window. Brushing herself off, Alexia gets up almost instantly and continues to chase Erick around the backyard. Standing there, watching the kids run and play, she is filled with an overwhelming sense of something she can't quiet seem to describe. Happiness. Love. Family. Fulfillment. A combination of all four, perhaps. It feels like it was only yesterday when she found Christina, badly beaten, lying in that cot, in that house. In the process of clearing the house, she found Alexia, wrapped in a blanket, laying in a laundry basket, alone, her wails incessant. As she picked up the baby girl and held her in her arms, she had no idea that this baby, a tiny, defenseless baby, her niece, Alexia, would change her life forever. Alexia. She is where it all began. It feels like yesterday, she was pacing around her townhouse for hours, desperately trying to get Alexia to sleep, that first night after Christina checked into rehab. It feels like yesterday, a week after Christina checked into rehab when Scotty showed up on her doorstep, Chinese takeout in one hand, baby supplies in the other. It feels like yesterday when she came home to find Alexia bathed and fast asleep, and Scotty, waiting with a candlelight dinner. It feels like yesterday when they sat outside, on the back patio, side by side, wordlessly watching the crisp spring night sky. It feels like yesterday, when he took her hand in his and confessed that he couldn't stop thinking about her. It feels like yesterday when they were in the elevator at the courthouse and he told her he loved her for the first time. It feels like yesterday when he kissed her in the pouring rain, just outside of Headquarters. It feels like yesterday when they packed up his things from his apartment. It feels like yesterday when he moved into her townhouse. It feels like yesterday when the smell of the takeout he brought home made her nauseous. It feels like yesterday when they found out she was pregnant with Erick. It feels like yesterday when she was in labor, when she saw Scotty get shot. It feels like yesterday when she woke up in the hospital room, with Scotty asleep in a wheelchair beside her bed, holding her hand. It feels like yesterday….

A pair of arms encircle her waist from behind and Scotty kisses the side of her cheek softly as he asks, "You okay?"

She turns around to face him, giving him a quick kiss on the lips before she responds, "I was just thinking."

"About?" He says, his hand caressing her waist.

"A little of everything."

"Care to be more specific?"

"I was watching the kids and I started thinking…. About how small Alexia was when she was a baby, when we found her. How things were then and how everything is now."

His eyes meet hers and for a second he looks at her like he does when he's trying to determine if there's deeper meaning to what she's saying, something she's implying. Finally, he says, without taking his eyes off hers, "I much rather prefer things the way they are now. Because now I can do this." His lips meet hers, kissing her deeply. She moans a bit, quietly, but audibly enough for him to hear her as they take a couple of steps backwards. With his back pressed up against the refrigerator, her hand toys with the hem of his shirt as his hand begins to caress the skin at the small of her back. Just as his fingers slip into the waistband of her jeans, they are interrupted by a sharp knock.

"Knock, knock,' Will says stepping into the kitchen.

"Are we interrupting something? Nick says stepping in beside will.

"You two are ridiculous" Kat says walking into the kitchen. "Grown adults, making out like a couple of teenagers. You've been married for two years, haven't you gotten sick of doing that?"

They both smile as Lilly steps away from the refrigerator, giving Scotty a bit more room.

"Never," Scotty responds with a smile as he wraps his arm around Lilly's waist pulling her close. The adults are interrupted by the sound of thundering feet as Alexia and Erick run into the kitchen, followed by Stillman. Before anyone can say anything, Erick runs to Scotty, clutching his leg tightly, as he exclaims, "Daddy, I'm hungry…."

"Yeah, me too. Weren't you supposed to have the best medium rare steaks ready?" Nick says. Erick lets go of Scotty, rushing over to 'Uncle' Nick, his arms outstretched to be carried. Nick tosses Erick up into the air before holding the giggling toddler in his arms.

"Hey, you said you were the best grill master in Philly. I thought I'd give you a chance to showcase your imaginary skills," Scotty scoffs.

"You're on Valens," Nick says placing Erick down, just as Alexia runs by, and both kids run outside again. Nick and Scotty both seem to have caught the kids' competitiveness as they race out to see who can reach the grill first. Stillman grabs the cooler of beverages from next to the refrigerator as Kat grabs the bowl of hamburgers and hotdogs and a bowl of steaks off the kitchen counter, as they both headed outside. Lilly stays behind in the kitchen for a second, reminiscing. She's so caught up in her thoughts, she doesn't realize she's been stoking her stomach affectionately. Loud laughter and chatter from the backyard startle her out of her thoughts and she quickly removes her hand from her stomach, making a mental reminder not to do that in front of the team or Scotty. Not yet anyways. Someone might guess her surprise and today, that was the last thing she wanted. Walking over the refrigerator, she pulls out the salad bowl and joins everyone outside. Stillman and Kat are sitting in a pair of wicker chairs, on one end of the patio, while Will, Nick, and Scotty are gathered around the grill on the other side of the patio, bickering about the best grilling methods. She sets the salad bowl on the table of food, near the wicker chairs before sitting in a chair next to Kat. The boss and Kat carry on a conversation as Lilly watches Alexia and Erick run Veronica around endlessly. Veronica, though, doesn't seem to mind the overactive toddler and preschooler, engaging them in a game of hide and seek. Before long, she finds herself listening to the Boss's stories about policing in the olden days, along with Kat. Eventually, Nick, Scotty, and Will finally finish grilling and everyone settles down to eat. As the sun slowly begins to sink beneath the horizon, she watches Alexia and Erick run around the yard, chasing fireflies. Pearls of laughter and conversation fill the air as she feels Scotty's arms around her waist. She settles back into the comfort and familiarity of his embrace for a few minutes, before deciding that now is the perfect time to make the announcement. She swirls the apple juice around her glass before taking a long sip. Stepping away from his embrace, as she reaches for a spoon, lying on a nearby table, she can't understand why she feels so nervous. Taking a quiet breath, she taps the spoon against her glass to get everyone's attention. All eyes turn to her as she says, "Sorry to interrupt but… I have an announcement to make. I could have said something sooner but I wanted to wait until we were all together…. I am three months pregnant. "

A split second of silence, followed by a series of smiles and kisses and a round of congratulations. She is swept into embrace after embrace, and before long, Scotty is at her side, his arm once again around her waist. His lips soon capture hers, kissing her with so much ardor, it nearly takes her breath away. As they break apart, hugs and congratulations ensue again. After she has received numerous hugs from everyone, Scotty stands by her side, once again. For a minute, they drown out the incessant excited chatter around them. No one else exists, but the two of them, alone, in this moment. His hand tenderly strokes and grips hers before their fingers become entwined. Pulling her towards him, he caresses her face before giving her a long loving kiss. As they break apart, he pulls her into a warm, comforting embrace. Out of the corner of her eye, she sees a girl on the far left side of the backyard. Fair blond hair pulled into two low ponytails, vibrant blue eyes, about eight years old. Lilly's eyes meet the girl's as Lilly notices an overwhelming haunting sadness in the girl's eyes. For a second, the two simple look at each other. Suddenly, Lilly realizes she knows the girl. It's her, as a child. The girl look at her for another second before a small smile begins to spread across her face, the haunting look in her blue eyes fading. She gives Lilly a brilliant smile, not a trace of sadness on her face before turning around, walking away slowly, disappearing. And Lilly understands. She's finally at peace. She's finally home.

**THE END**


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